I'm stressed the fuck out. I constantly feel like I am in trouble. I can't live like this. I'm too much of a moron to finish school. I've been in college for 10 years and I still do not have a BA. I want to ctb, but I can't wait another three fucking weeks to do it. I want to just jump off a bridge with a rope around my neck and end it all. I am always anxious and scared. I feel inadequate and dumb. Even if I fuck up and fall into a coma or paralyze myself, at least then no one can blame me for shit I've never done. I am tired of always feeling like I fucked up every time my parents call. I'm done with it all. I don't get why people can't just let my ctb in peace. Appearently I'm always a fuck up, but god forbid I kill myself. Everyone goes up in arms if I even mention that I'm depressed. Like its my fault. My mother equates me ctb to murder which is like…why? I have a terrible family and I genuinely do not give a shit about them. That's why I want to do a long drop suspension hanging in hopes that it will decapitate me. I don't care how painful or gruesome it is. I want to ctb and beheading myself ensures that no one can rescuitate me. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I am sick of always feeling like a failure. I'm sick of being treated like shit by my own family. No one respects me, no one gives a damn. I'm DONE!! It's happening tonight. I'm going to the top of a parking garage and tieing the anchor knot to my car and the noose around my neck. Then I am jumping the fuck off the top floor of the parking garage. I swear to god if I survive this, I will damage my body to the point that I would need to breath out of a breathing tube and confined to a hospital bed. I just do not want to be conscience anymore. Fuck the world, fuck everything in it, fuck my family and fuck the people that made my life a living hell.
My friend, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. If there's anything we can help with then please talk. If not, safe travels
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,336
I hate how we exist in this society where suicide isn't seen as a valid option, I find it horrible how people cannot just easily die in peace. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.
CloudyNightSky
Experienced
- Oct 28, 2023
- 294
Even if you don't care how gruesome it's gonna be I'm praying for a short and painless journey for you. You deserve to be at peace and be free from this cruel world
