I’m being stupid

[IwantSomething]

I'm autistic so that's probably why I feel like this and see some things in black and white. But they were wrong me and a "friend" got into an argument about a color scheme they said that something that was vaguely colored similar to a character and they said it was (that character) slug . But it wasn't that color. It looked different it wasn't the right shade it was different. And they started yelling about how I wasn't listening and shit and now I'm upset I'm irritationaly upset about this I know that it's stupid and I know it's not nessesacry and I know it's dumb but they completly bulldozed over what I was saying the colors weren't the same so they can't say they are and they were screaming and shouting and now I'm fucking overstimulated and upset and angry and I can't handle any of these emotions and I hate it and I hate that I'm like this I'm a fucking bad person I need to calm down I need to fucking calm down. But I can't I hate it I hate myself I hate everything why am I like this. I'm sorry I just needed to vent. I hate that I'm like this.

 

[emgrl]

I'm just glad you have this space to get it all out. Vent away…

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Arguing with others really can be so awful. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's understandable- I can see that you can see that the subject matter is sort of trivial- I think arguments quite often are. It's more that your 'friend' shouted you down without acknowledging you and sounds like they were really rude and belittling in the process- that isn't trivial- that's going to upset anyone. People can be jerks.

Is there any chance your friend is colour blind? Actually, my parents quite often get into sort of heated discussions on whether something is blue, green or grey. I kind of wonder if we all see colour slightly differently- in which case, we are all right- or, all wrong I suppose. Sounds like your 'friend' over-reacted though.

 

[IwantSomething]

I think it's understandable- I can see that you can see that the subject matter is sort of trivial- I think arguments quite often are. It's more that your 'friend' shouted you down without acknowledging you and sounds like they were really rude and belittling in the process- that isn't trivial- that's going to upset anyone. People can be jerks.

Is there any chance your friend is colour blind? Actually, my parents quite often get into sort of heated discussions on whether something is blue, green or grey. I kind of wonder if we all see colour slightly differently- in which case, we are all right- or, all wrong I suppose. Sounds like your 'friend' over-reacted though.

They are not color blind or anything like that and I agree that we all most likely see color differently it's just the fact that they know certain things can get me really upset and how sometimes I can't control that I get angry. And they took it really far they were screaming at me and saying how I was so stupid and things like to that to the point where I went non-verbal and then they just told me to leave. So I left and now they just either refuse to talk to me or say I'm a horrible friend. And I don't know what to do they are some of the only people that I have in my life.

 

[Forever Sleep]

They are not color blind or anything like that and I agree that we all most likely see color differently it's just the fact that they know certain things can get me really upset and how sometimes I can't control that I get angry. And they took it really far they were screaming at me and saying how I was so stupid and things like to that to the point where I went non-verbal and then they just told me to leave. So I left and now they just either refuse to talk to me or say I'm a horrible friend. And I don't know what to do they are some of the only people that I have in my life.

They sound awful people. I'm so sorry. That's cruel though- to provoke you like that and wind you up. Think you did really well going quiet- sounds like they were trying to get a reaction out of you. That's bullying though. I understand it must be hard- if they are some of the only people you have around right know but that's really poor behaviour- especially towards a 'friend'. I hope you get to meet some nicer people soon. Sorry- I know it's bad for me to insult your 'friends' on hearsay but you deserve to be treated better.

 

[GentleJerk]

I'm being stupid too, mostly always. *fistbump*

 

[IwantSomething]

They sound awful people. I'm so sorry. That's cruel though- to provoke you like that and wind you up. Think you did really well going quiet- sounds like they were trying to get a reaction out of you. That's bullying though. I understand it must be hard- if they are some of the only people you have around right know but that's really poor behaviour- especially towards a 'friend'. I hope you get to meet some nicer people soon. Sorry- I know it's bad for me to insult your 'friends' on hearsay but you deserve to be treated better.

Eh it's not really rude to be honest from the way people are reacting to what I've said it seems like maybe they are kind of rude and looking back at the things they have said and done over the time I've known them it doesn't seem great and it's kind of making me feel like "hmm maybe these people don't actually want to be my friends" and looking back they've actually been really big jerks. They treat me like garbage and then if I get upset blame me and act like I'm horrible. But then if I try to talk to them without making fun of myself they act like I'm boring and don't want to talk to me. I think I need to find new friends lmao.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Eh it's not really rude to be honest from the way people are reacting to what I've said it seems like maybe they are kind of rude and looking back at the things they have said and done over the time I've known them it doesn't seem great and it's kind of making me feel like "hmm maybe these people don't actually want to be my friends" and looking back they've actually been really big jerks. They treat me like garbage and then if I get upset blame me and act like I'm horrible. But then if I try to talk to them without making fun of myself they act like I'm boring and don't want to talk to me. I think I need to find new friends lmao.

I think trying to meet new people would be a very good idea. It's not like you need to cut these other people off entirely but maybe try to see them more for what they are. They seem at best- fair weather friends. If you can accept that they can be kind of fickle and jerks now and then, you might be more ready to cope with it- and be less hurt.

I think quite often, we feel hurt because people behave in a way that we are not expecting- we think they are our friends, then they do something that shows they don't really feel that way about us. If you can see them more as acquaintances, there might be less expectation there and less hurt if they show their unpleasant selves again.

I'm sorry. It's a disappointing lesson to learn but hopefully it might cause less disappointment in future having to deal with them.

 

[IwantSomething]

I think trying to meet new people would be a very good idea. It's not like you need to cut these other people off entirely but maybe try to see them more for what they are. They seem at best- fair weather friends. If you can accept that they can be kind of fickle and jerks now and then, you might be more ready to cope with it- and be less hurt.

I think quite often, we feel hurt because people behave in a way that we are not expecting- we think they are our friends, then they do something that shows they don't really feel that way about us. If you can see them more as acquaintances, there might be less expectation there and less hurt if they show their unpleasant selves again.

I'm sorry. It's a disappointing lesson to learn but hopefully it might cause less disappointment in future having to deal with them.

Yeah it's not really a lesson that I'm upset at learning. I already knew it, it's just that I thought these people were different we meant at a queer camp so it was sort of a unconscious thought of "these people understand what I've been through they know what's happening they will be nicer" and then it turns out they just aren't. I don't know why I know that just because someone's queer doesn't mean they are a good person. But I had this thought that they might be better? And that's stupid I don't know. But I'm glad that people on here aren't just telling me I'm stupid and overreacting. people on here seem nice. I hope that one day I can have friends or something. Probably not. But maybe you know.