Im becoming an alcholic

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Ive had 6+ drinks every single night for the past 2 weeks and mix it with dabs and sometimes a few bumps of ketamine. What deterred me from drinking every night previously was that liqour tastes like shit. I started making mixers with apple jack daniels, lemon juice, and club soda and I cant even taste the alcohol so thats not a problem anymore.I think im just going to keep drinking. Its the only time im not feeling intense emotional pain and im going to kill myself anyways so fuck it. Might even try some harder drugs soon. Why not try morphine or heroin or something a few times before I go?

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Well i've never done K but as far as drinking goes this is p much what I've been doing the last year. The downside is how unbearable sober life is. And the more you drink the higher your tolerance becomes. The more effort it takes to get drunk. It hasnt exactly solved anything but at least being numb is better than having to feel. Even positive emotions. Its all just pain. I don't want to feel anything or think about the past. Or the fact that I don't have a future

 

[chronicpain123]

I get what youre saying with the tolerance. Sometimes its best to just bite the bullet and reset your tolerance. It will be shitty for a while but after that youre also good for a while again, well within reason. Im on morphine most of the time and a few days ago I decided I need a reset aswell currently on day 3. Im sorry youre going through a difficult time though.

 

[sweetgirl666]

Ive had 6+ drinks every single night for the past 2 weeks and mix it with dabs and sometimes a few bumps of ketamine. What deterred me from drinking every night previously was that liqour tastes like shit. I started making mixers with apple jack daniels, lemon juice, and club soda and I cant even taste the alcohol so thats not a problem anymore.I think im just going to keep drinking. Its the only time im not feeling intense emotional pain and im going to kill myself anyways so fuck it. Might even try some harder drugs soon. Why not try morphine or heroin or something a few times before I go?

Last year I tried alcohol for the first time, I worked in a shopping mall and my old school friend worked in a place that sold different drinks. I started drinking beer every day, then vodka, before going to work and it went on like that for a year. Unfortunately, tolerance came to me and the only thing that gave me relief stopped working, and since my father had taken me out of work, it didn't work. I had no money and no more free drinks, but in fact before practicing CTB I want to take a break to feel the effect of alcohol again, and then leave

 

[imrantahir1208]

Although I have been drinking since I was 18, however over the past 2 years I have been having 12 oz of whiskey every night. I've had Ketamine infusion at a doctors office I would love to have access to K at home. Drinking is the only time I don't feel emotional pain as well. When I'm sober all I want to do is to drink.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm an alcoholic, yet sober for now. I really miss how it helped numb the pain of trauma, anxiety and depression.
I can't afford to drink anymore due to financial reasons, yet I'm definitely going to drink again shortly before I ctb.

 

[wait.what]

I'm actually pretty impressed by those of you who stop when you run out of money. How do you keep drinking when you run out of money? Well, theft. Duh. Or you exchange sex for booze. Or you quit buying food, or you max out your credit until you're facing bankruptcy. Which you then don't file for, because who can figure out bankruptcy law when you're drunk?

I can't really recommend alcoholism.

I think most of you are talking about risky drinking behavior that stops short of alcoholism, although obviously you're the experts on yourselves, and I'm not. It is possible to slip across the line from "problem drinking" into real addiction, though, so please be careful. As a couple of you have mentioned, you can get to a point where your brain is so stripped of dopamine that you feel like shit no matter what.

There have got to be people who managed a perfectly-timed escape on the nearest bus when they were really in danger of pickling their livers, but most seem to fuck it up. Personally, I can't so much as microwave instant oatmeal when I've had a BAC of .4 for a week.

Anyway, in the spirit of supporting informed choice, I recommend avoiding alcohol addiction if you possibly can. Aside from getting hooked on heroin, it's about the most awful thing you can do to yourself. It probably won't even kill you quickly.