Venting I'm at the point where I cannot even understand why some people do NOT have thoughts about ctb

[KillingPain267]

Even though I was myself like that just a few years ago. Now I can't imagine someone going through life without a single thought of "screw it, I wanna end it all". Maybe such people don't exist? Maybe everyone is to some extend more or less suicidal in periods of time?

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Just thinking that yesterday. Doesn't everyone think it at one time or another? It almost baffles me if they don't.

 

[lawlietsph]

I know, right? Sometimes I look at people and I'm like how the actual fuck are you able to function, how are you smiling, how can you be excited about something, how how how?
How can you still believe that anything matters at all in this stupid existence?

 

[Chaosire]

Yeah.. it weirds me out too.
My boyfriend recently had his first suicidal thoughts at 25. Been dating him for almost 5 years, and it's the first time he can actually somewhat understand how it feels.
Hope he doesn't act on it tho, I could keep using his support.

Just thinking that yesterday. Doesn't everyone think it at one time or another? It almost baffles me if they don't.

Apparently not. Used to tell new therapists that I just have a normal amount of suicidal ideation.. and she hit me with the (apparently obvious) 'most people don't have any'

 

[foreverfalling]

They do have those thoughts, they just can't be honest about it, which makes them all the more evil.

 

[Darkover]

because life been good to them for the majority of their lives good mental and physical health and getting what they want out of life it's only when something terrible happen to you that you think about suicide

 

[Chaosire]

They do have those thoughts, they just can't be honest about it, which makes them all the more evil.

Actually, they often don't.
I've talked with a lot of people about it. And some of them just can't phatom the idea of having suicidal thoughts. Except maybe for the meme as in "oh kill me, I don't wanna do this exam". But no actual serious suicidal thoughts

 

[KillingPain267]

Yeah.. it weirds me out too.
My boyfriend recently had his first suicidal thoughts at 25. Been dating him for almost 5 years, and it's the first time he can actually somewhat understand how it feels.
Hope he doesn't act on it tho, I could keep using his support.

Apparently not. Used to tell new therapists that I just have a normal amount of suicidal ideation.. and she hit me with the (apparently obvious) 'most people don't have any'

My ex had suicidal thoughts a few times throughout life and when we were together, and even suggested we ctb together, but I always said it's not a solution and suicide is bad. Now I wish we had done it, lol. But it's ironic that now that I AM severely suicidal, my ex is not. The script has flipped, lol.

 

[Chaosire]

My ex had suicidal thoughts a few times throughout life and when we were together, and even suggested we ctb together, but I always said it's not a solution and suicide is bad. Now I wish we had done it, lol. But it's ironic that now that I AM severely suicidal, my ex is not. The script has flipped, lol.

I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you find either help or rest.


When I was 12, my then gf and I were both suicidal. She couldn't take it anymore and told me she needed to go.
Told her I wasn't going to stop her and if she wanted me there for moral support. I'm really glad she reconsidered. He's now transitioned and cut contact with his dad.
He's doing a lot better now and has made it his goal to help others by becoming an EMT.
Kinda glad I didn't suggest a suicide pact or anything like that, he's saved so many people already.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't understand it either. My neurotype is just way too different and incompatible from normies to understand them. I can't understand them at all nor will I ever be able to understand them

 

[KillingPain267]

I don't understand it either. My neurotype is just way too different and incompatible from normies to understand them. I can't understand them at all nor will I ever be able to understand them

I wish I was a normie. Either that or dead.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as wanting to die truly is all I know in my case, I'd never wish to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence, as long as I exist I'll always and only wish for death. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I can't understand why anyone would want to live in the first place much less never think about suicide.

Suicide to me is the most rational decision.

To want to live a human has to want to work hard every day at a job, chores, fixing problems , daily suffering, daily stress, dealing with daily BS. and for what objective reason for what purpose. to work all day having to get quickly up shower dress , get clothes ready, brush teeth , eat, washing clothes , taking out trash, fixing problems ... .then commuting to work a damn job you hate which is very difficult boring stressful and you have to deal with awful humans. every day worrying every day stressing. this is average garbage not the worry when you are in some nightmare. This is every freaking day. then you get home dead tired and have to make dinner , groceries , clean everything fix everything organize everything , constantly hungry having to eat 3 times a day , and more bodily functions. This is an average day . then you have to do it again the next day and the next every damn day for 50 years . and this is ok? for what purpose , for what reason? all this just to exist under threat of something extremely horrible happening to you. every day is a gamble again for what reason? all this work , suffering just to decay get very old and end up in a nursing home suffering extremely as i know cause i worked in a nursing home . all this and more for what reason? there is none

There is no objective purpose to life . life is meaningless . life is meaningless suffering.

Then are so many horrible diseases accidents and other horrible things that can happen to any human any day like stroke , cancer , kidnapping , disabling accidents, oppression , scams ,lies , bullying , et. then after 50 years of this hell you go into the worse hell and diseases of old age.

I've posed the following question but no one has yet even tried to answer me. For what reason do i have to want to live or do anything?

This is just a basic question without all the added hard work and risks of extreme torture for what reason do i have to live and then live under threat of unbearable pain and work so hard every day ? there is none . life is meaningless . life is meaningless suffering.

The only thing that matters to me is avoiding unbearable pain and my suicide asap to non-existence forever

none of the things they continously say are so good important valuable pleasurable worth it are not to me . and no one can convince me any of those garbage addictions are anything meaningful important valuable or good or worth anything . the onnly thing they do is keep one here waiting like a sitting duck for the really unbearable pain and extreme torture to trap you .

non-existence is the best thing. partly because it's none of the horrors of life some of which i touched on in this post. it's even worst than what i wrote here. . I could keep writing for a thousand pages some things i've never seen anywhere .

 

[Ariii]

Honestly, I find the fact that most people don't have any suicidal thoughts unbelievable. Totally anecdotal, but every person who I have gotten close to has thought about suicide, on a scaling range of severity, but they still had those thoughts.

The CDC says that 4.3% of the adult population have suicidal thoughts (though only within a certain timeframe years ago), but I wonder if we weren't so stigmatized, how much that percentage would grow

 

[KillingPain267]

suffering just to decay get very old and end up in a nursing home suffering extremely as i know cause i worked in a nursing home . all this and more for what reason? there is none

Can you give examples of what they suffer? Because most people think living to old age is wonderful and death in "natural" old age is peaceful, when studies show 80% suffer long protracted death processes.

 

[Reflection]

I think everyone at one point or another may get thoughts like this, but then their problem gets solved and they're back on track...I myself felt like that before, especially when you're sure that it can be solved if you stick around...it can be bearable.

The real issue is when either you are mentally ill or have a problem that you know is out of your control and is causing you so much chronic pain and emotional torture...that's when the thought of suicide starts seriously looming in your head.

 

[sevennn]

I can't understand why anyone would want to live in the first place much less never think about suicide.

Suicide to me is the most rational decision.

To want to live a human has to want to work hard every day at a job, chores, fixing problems , daily suffering, daily stress, dealing with daily BS. and for what objective reason for what purpose. to work all day having to get quickly up shower dress , get clothes ready, brush teeth , eat, washing clothes , taking out trash, fixing problems ... .then commuting to work a damn job you hate which is very difficult boring stressful and you have to deal with awful humans. every day worrying every day stressing. this is average garbage not the worry when you are in some nightmare. This is every freaking day. then you get home dead tired and have to make dinner , groceries , clean everything fix everything organize everything , constantly hungry having to eat 3 times a day , and more bodily functions. This is an average day . then you have to do it again the next day and the next every damn day for 50 years . and this is ok? for what purpose , for what reason? all this just to exist under threat of something extremely horrible happening to you. every day is a gamble again for what reason? all this work , suffering just to decay get very old and end up in a nursing home suffering extremely as i know cause i worked in a nursing home . all this and more for what reason? there is none

There is no objective purpose to life . life is meaningless . life is meaningless suffering.

Then are so many horrible diseases accidents and other horrible things that can happen to any human any day like stroke , cancer , kidnapping , disabling accidents, oppression , scams ,lies , bullying , et. then after 50 years of this hell you go into the worse hell and diseases of old age.

I've posed the following question but no one has yet even tried to answer me. For what reason do i have to want to live or do anything?

This is just a basic question without all the added hard work and risks of extreme torture for what reason do i have to live and then live under threat of unbearable pain and work so hard every day ? there is none . life is meaningless . life is meaningless suffering.

The only thing that matters to me is avoiding unbearable pain and my suicide asap to non-existence forever

none of the things they continously say are so good important valuable pleasurable worth it are not to me . and no one can convince me any of those garbage addictions are anything meaningful important valuable or good or worth anything . the onnly thing they do is keep one here waiting like a sitting duck for the really unbearable pain and extreme torture to trap you .

non-existence is the best thing. partly because it's none of the horrors of life some of which i touched on in this post. it's even worst than what i wrote here. . I could keep writing for a thousand pages some things i've never seen anywhere .

yeah. it's pointless drivel