Venting I'm afraid to live at home anymore

[Grog]

My brother has a history of having a short temper and being very irrational and violent. He is bipolar. Yesterday, he was tormenting my mom through text messages saying how he wants to CTB and that it's all her and my dad's fault. I know that my parents are heavily flawed, but I would say my brother is even more-so. And so he comes home and starts holding a knife to his wrist, acting manic, and waving it around while he's talking with his hands while shouting in a manic state. It was super scary. I was afraid that if he got angry enough, that he might hurt me or my mom. All the while this is happening, my dad just sits in his room and doesn't intervene one bit because he's a coward; my brother has a deadly weapon in a room alone with my mom and he doesn't even step in. I stepped in though.

I talked him into putting the knife down, but then he kept picking it back up. Screaming at the top of his lungs too. Eventually, he rushes towards me and headbutts me and gets in my face. I threatened to call the cops because he was being out of control. He then squares up to my mom, puffs out his chest, and says "well mom didn't see a thing, did you mom?" Mind you, my mom can barely walk; let alone defend herself. I told him to get away from her because I'm definitely calling if he doesn't step back. He knows that if I call the cops and they take him away, he will most likely have to stay in jail this time, on account of the fact that he has a previous mark on his record for another domestic violence offense for hitting me and breaking my pinky while I blocked his onslaught. He's also a very strong and trained MMA fighter -- he is extremely dangerous. I ended up not calling them though, even though I should have. Part of me doesn't want to mess up his life -- he has a ten year old boy. Although, my brother is an absolute deadbeat for a father... I feel bad for my nephew.

I stayed at a friend's house last night after all that commotion. Came back today and I immediately hear him yelling about me. I just ignored it and went to another room. Finally made it to my bedroom downstairs after he went to his upstairs. I wish my parents would kick him out, but they are afraid of him. I can't easily move out right now because I am disabled and the SSA doesn't pay me barely anything. I guess I'm going to try to sign up for a HUD voucher for Project 8 housing, because it seems to be my only option. But, there's a waitlist, so who knows how long until that pans out. Even if I do get a Project 8 house, I'm still going to be struggling financially. I don't know what to do right now. I don't feel safe.


I know I'm probably just saying this because I'm caught up in this chaos, but I don't know if I feel like CTB anymore. Right now, I feel like I want to live and do way better than my miserable piece of shit brother, purely out of fucking spite; just to show him how much better my life could be than his -- so I can rub it in his shit-eating face.

 

[darksouls]

this is truly a horrible situation
I am so sorry you have to go through all this
I hope you find a better home

 

[Novaaa]

My dear friend, you and your parents (at least you mother), are living a hell.
If your brother decides don't take his treatment, isn't your fault or nobody's fault.
Is there any way to report him and have him admitted to a psychiatric hospital for help? If not, file a report with the police. No one deserves to experience what you're experiencing. He's grown up and needs to take responsibility.
I think you could file an anonymous report, as if you were a neighbor who heard the screams.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

As much as I feel for you and your parents, and I very much do, I feel for your brother, too. He's got a terrible disease he never asked for. Can't imagine what it's like to walk in his shoes, in any of your shoes. I hope you can find a remedy that helps everyone, including your brother. Sometimes love needs to be "tough" love. Good luck.

 

[Grog]

My dear friend, you and your parents (at least you mother), are living a hell.
If your brother decides don't take his treatment, isn't your fault or nobody's fault.
Is there any way to report him and have him admitted to a psychiatric hospital for help? If not, file a report with the police. No one deserves to experience what you're experiencing. He's grown up and needs to take responsibility.
I think you could file an anonymous report, as if you were a neighbor who heard the screams.

I really wanted to call the police, but my parents really didn't want me to call them, and I was afraid my brother would do something stupid and drastic if he knew the cops were on the way. It's a hard situation. I wish I could just leave so I didn't have to deal with any of this.

 

[bankai]

Damn, that's some serious stuff you're going through. Let me tell you right now, your brother most likely will never change. That kind of extreme emotional swing is very hard to manage or treat. I can only pray you were able to remove yourself from the situation and keep your parents safe. I also really feel for your nephew. I don't. I don't get why these people would ever have children,ughh.

 

[Grog]

Damn, that's some serious stuff you're going through. Let me tell you right now, your brother most likely will never change. That kind of extreme emotional swing is very hard to manage or treat. I can only pray you were able to remove yourself from the situation and keep your parents safe. I also really feel for your nephew. I don't. I don't get why these people would ever have children,ughh.

You're absolutely right — I don't think he'll ever change. He's been a violent person ever since adolescence; this is far from the first incident like this. You would think that maybe having a child would give him a wake up call and change his ways, but no.

I was able to remove myself from the immediate situation when it happened; I stayed the night at a friends house and spent most of the next day there too. But I've since been back home. I've literally only been in the basement since coming back home because I want to avoid him at all costs. I just hope he doesn't start more shit… I am terrified of living here…