I’m afraid to hurt my family but I can’t stand living anymore

[MicahBell]

I was so confident I could do it despite my family, but as suicide becomes more and more possible now that I have access to things I'm afraid to hurt my brother. My family hasn't even been all that good to me in the past few years.

But at the same time like if just more than I can stand atp. I'm failing most of my classes. I don't have any friends or hobbies. I can't get gender affirming care in my state. But I keep imagining my brother crying when he finds out. Every single day I fantasise about a speeding car hitting me because I think it would be easier for them

 

[sadman1897]

I hear you . My family has done a tremendous amount to help me get through my pain but nothing has changed . I have 2 siblings who I'm very close to and I have a 17 yr old daughter. Also 2 dogs and a cat . Leaving this world by my own hand seems impossible to me . I'm stuck and it's a horrible feeling .