I’m afraid of being happy?

[Circles]

I probably ain't going to make sense but I just feel like no matter what I reach a brick wall where I feel like I'm unable to be 'happy' especially since I've hardly ever been happy before in my entire life. I constantly wonder is it even possible for me? Would I even possibly hate being happy cause the emotion is so foreign to me? And then just thinking about it if I actually was happy would I be ready for it? It's like I'm scared and that 'happiness' makes me feel like I'm stranded somewhere without something to hold onto if that makes any sense. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing or know how to get out of my own way. :(

 

[Lost Magic]

I think being content with some things you enjoy (if any) should be enough. Personally, I don't ever want to be really overjoyed and happy because I know that those times are very fleeting. Also, I don't want to convince myself that things will get better or give myself false hope for any kind of meaningful future. I am content doing my daily rituals until its time to order my final bus ticket. Then I will be truly happy.

 

[timf]

paulstrong has a point about the value of contentment. Sometimes one can mistake things like excitement, fun, thrills, and similar sensations as "happiness". This can make one think happiness is un-achievable because these sensations are transitory. Sensations can also be narcotic in that chasing after them can require more frequent and stronger doses to get the same effect.

Contentment and satisfaction can be a foundation upon which to build happiness. In this way it might seem more grounded and less fleeting.

 

[partialhang]

What's happiness? Sounds like a made up term.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I agree with all of you.

I feel that I'll never again have the courage to dare to try to be happy because every time I've let my guard down it has gone to shit.

Being numb is safer because there is no hope and no frustrated expectations.

I guess some people are just not meant to be happy.

 

[rationaltake]

I agree with all of you.

I feel that I'll never again have the courage to dare to try to be happy because every time I've let my guard down it has gone to shit.

Being numb is safer because there is no hope and no frustrated expectations.

I guess some people are just not meant to be happy.

I understand what you mean. And I know you recently lost someone who was important to you. Which is hard.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I understand what you mean. And I know you recently lost someone who was important to you. Which is hard.

Thank so much, I appreciate that :) It is indeed.

 

[lili]

I don't believe in reaching happiness either. Although I think I've had specks of joy through my life.

I think it's fine to strive for those moments of joy. But I think life will always have surprises no matter what. Moments of anger, moments of sadness. It's all inevitable. Even in the happiest moments I think.

I don't know I just think society is obsessed with happiness too. Maybe I wouldn't be so messed up in my head if this wasn't so drilled in our heads.

I think life would be more comfortable if it were more socially acceptable to be super open about anger, depression, bipolar issues, schizophrenia suicide traumas and everything. But since it is so taboo to express these things and we have to just bury it inside and just somehow force ourselves to be happy I think this just makes it all the more worse.