Acopia
Specialist
- Sep 21, 2020
- 355
I hate myself. I hate my brain. I'm not a good enough person. I have a love-hate relationship with my Autism but lately it's largely hate.
I get such intrusive thoughts in my head that tell me I'm going to do bad things to the people I love and the thoughts won't go away. They just get louder & louder until I can't ignore them - and I know they're all bullshit but they just won't stop. It's like hell living inside my head.
So I cut or I starve or I OD just to punish myself but what else can i do(?)
I have so many people around me but I really don't deserve them.
Suicide is literally the only way out of living like this. I'm too ashamed to tell people how I feel. MH services have consistently failed me. All the meds I take don't help.
What option do I have?
There's only one.
I get such intrusive thoughts in my head that tell me I'm going to do bad things to the people I love and the thoughts won't go away. They just get louder & louder until I can't ignore them - and I know they're all bullshit but they just won't stop. It's like hell living inside my head.
So I cut or I starve or I OD just to punish myself but what else can i do(?)
I have so many people around me but I really don't deserve them.
Suicide is literally the only way out of living like this. I'm too ashamed to tell people how I feel. MH services have consistently failed me. All the meds I take don't help.
What option do I have?
There's only one.