Do you find that bias against people with personality disorders exists in your curriculum, and do you agree with that bias? As someone diagnosed with borderline who studies psychology for my college electives, I've been surprised by the number of times I've seen deeply troubling things in my textbooks and lectures.
Before you read my answer keep in mind I don't have BPD and therefore I may have overlooked some biases against people with this personality disorder. Also I can only speak for my uni so of course I'm not invalidating your experience, and if you're willing to tell me more about those biases you've witnessed so I can be more alert I'd love that!
I haven't noticed any bias in the way we're taught about BPD, in fact my professors tend to be very considerate towards all patients, disorders, and evidence-based therapies. If anything I think biases would be more likely to emerge from the APA when editing the DSM (e.g. overlooking men's symptoms of that disorder [I don't know if that bias actually exists for that disorder but that's the kind I'm talking about]), or from shady therapists (e.g. not being considerate enough of all the symptoms of the patient and thinking they have an "attitude", or thinking that's a phase, etc [once again IDK whether it actually happens but that's the kind of thing I mean]). As for me I don't even think diagnoses should exist the way they're classified in the DSM but that's a different debate altogether
Oh i've always wanted to study psychology... but i failed highschool exams pretty much and have no will to retake them
anyways, i do want to know, maybe it's a stupid question that you have no clue about and i'll just end up embarassing myself, but how can i stop caring about other people's experiences in life? Is this even possible? For context, i'm really lonely and wish i could meet someone that loves me and vice versa, stuff like that. I cling onto this hope like my life depends on it. Then i read others experiences, how they have that special someone and how they spend time together etc. and it brings me such despair knowing i'm in my 20s and have missed out on so much that i feel physical pain and feel like im gonna throw up out of jealousy. I don't know what to do about it. It's slowly killing me everyday and makes me feel like a really shitty person and i know it will only get worse each year, this is one of the questions i wish i asked my psychologist buuuut i don't have much energy to go back there
i hope this makes sense
Psychology is so interesting, you can study it from books (awesomebooks.com is a very good book seller <3), from MOOCs, or from Noba and YT videos to some extent!
As for your question, I can give you some general advice but unfortunately can't be more specific because I'm not a therapist and
advice is seldom one-size-fits-all, I hope you understand! <3
First, I would say that self-efficacy (= your confidence in your ability to achieve or execute something) is key, it can help you build confidence / self-esteem / motivation / hope / a goal.... All these things I've just listed are very important to create a strong social circle (either to get started and dare approach some nice people, or to build and maintain a bond). Self-efficacy (in something you enjoy doing or value) can also help you handle rejection better, because you have something to cling onto when you're lonely. Moreover, though it would be very helpful to discard, social comparison is an automated process and we basically can't get rid of it, from the smallest detail (e.g. who's better at Mario Kart Wii) to the most important stuff (e.g. who earns more money). My point is not to accept your fate, but to gather a social circle you will feel good hanging out with, comparing yourself to and that will make comparison with people outside that circle feel way less significant! You will basically always look for a reference point so if you don't have strong enough norms and values in your social circle(s) or if you don't spend enough time with said social circle(s), your default reference might end up being your average societal norms, and if you don't fit in them you might not be very happy. As an example, say you like travelling, and feel confident in your ability to make the most of every journey, and your social circle strongly values travelling and discovering other cultures over everything else; then, being single won't hurt nearly as much as comparing yourself to societal norms that heavily value settling down and creating a family.
(tl;dr: be confident in your skills in your hobbies and make sure to have an appropriate reference point to which you can compare yourself to in a non-toxic way. since you're always gonna compare yourself to others you might as well choose a reference point that values your achievements and doesn't just make you sadder by making an important value of something you consider a failure on your part)
Also remember to proceed at your own pace and celebrate every victory, even "small" ones! The track to getting better is not linear and sometimes you will get highs and lows but you got this! I hope my big block of text was legible, please feel free to ask for any clarification or additional detail!
Last, please remember this is extremely general advice:
if it doesn't fit your situation or does not resonate with you, do not feel compelled to follow it (trust me when I say this is far from being the only stuff psychology can provide you with). My words salad is there for anyone to use however they see fit: be it as a partial explanation of some psychological processes / jargon, as general life advice, as a words stream stored somewhere in a data center, as the awakening of an interest in psychology, whatever really.
If you need to vent a bit my DMs are open
I think we talk so freely about our trauma / disorders because we know we won't be met with judgment or confusion :)
