Venting I'm a fucking failure

[pangolin0]

Attempted on my life once. Went to school again to try improve my lot. Dead-end jobs drive me crazy, I can't work long hours without getting ridiculously tired and jobs where I actually use my studies scare the shit out of me because of the responsability. School was easy enough but the real world is hard as fuck. Lost a dear friend/crush this year and CTB seems more attractive by the minute.

I'm only here because of my mom. I'd love to tell my half-siblings to look after her emotionally "if something happens to me" but they're not stupid and might figure out something's up.

Does anyone feel frustrated because they can't just suck it up, carry on and accept their lot in life?

 

[butterbutter143]

i feel like this a lot. i try to tell myself that it doesn't matter and that everyone is going through the same shit that i'm going through and i'm not special but that doesn't stop it from hitting me like a ton of bricks lmao. i suppose there are lots of opportunities for your life to change, but it always gets me wondering "but why not now" you know? it's like whatever deity is up in the clouds just want to edge me until i kill myself, making me wait like a dog. but either way, i always get so sad when i realise this is all i will ever be.