I'm a failure

[anxiousmess0471]

Lately I've been feeling like a failure. I'm a former medical student who dropped out because I just couldn't handle the stress without completely losing my mind. I see people I went to school with going through medical school and becoming doctors. And I see others who chose different fields already having jobs and succeeding with whatever they're doing. I on the other hand am working a minimum wage job and still live with my parents while I figure out what to do with my life at age 26. I feel so far behind in life and regret leaving medical school. I wish I had stayed, but there is nothing I can do about that now. I keep thinking about suicide and hate that there are no easier methods. I screwed up my life and truly have no reason to live. I definitely know that I will CTB one day though because I can't handle being a huge disappointment to my family and to myself.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I can say that I feel the same way. I'm 24 and I haven't even graduated from High School, let alone college. It's amazing to me that you even went to medical school. I've never gotten that far in my life. I have autism and Bipolar, and there's nothing I can do with my life. There's nothing for me. I've honestly tried everything, but nothing works out. I've tried mathematics, art, writing, etc. I'm just saying, that before you make the choice to ctb maybe you should be absolutely sure there's nothing you can do about medical school anymore. I've had to dwell on certain things to make sure I'm not making a choice I wouldn't want to that is going to ruin the life I could have had. If it means anything, I don't think you're a huge disappointment at all.

 

[Unspoken7612]

OK, have you ever had Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? Because you would really benefit from some, if it is done well. You are showing distorted thinking common of people with depression, and I think with a little practice you would learn to recognise these distortions and be less troubled by them.

Firstly, you shouldn't be so quick to compare yourself to others. Remember, you only see the stuff that people want you to see. It's very easy to overlook people's struggles, not to mention all the people you know who are not succeeding.

You got into medical school! That shows that you have real talent and the potential to succeed. Your life is far from over. At 26, you still have plenty of time to grow, change, and succeed. Sure, some people are doing better than you now, but life has its ebbs and flows, and there will be times when you are the one on top.

There's no great rush, and you are not at the end of your journey, unless that is what you really want. But I think in your case, it would be premature and irrational. Yes, you might feel like a failure, and you have had one experience that could be called a failure, but there is clear potential within you for success.

Ask yourself - what would you say to a friend who was in a similar situation? I bet if one of your friends had to drop out of a course, or lost a job, you wouldn't say "you are a failure who has disappointed your entire family". You'd say something kind and supportive. Well, be a friend to yourself!

 

[Adûnâi]

You are showing distorted thinking common of people with depression, and I think with a little practice you would learn to recognise these distortions and be less troubled by them.

What's distorted about the OP? Seems fairly alright. Or is this a buzzword used by pro-lifers? I wish suicide were available as an easy option to try a different reincarnation...

In RTS games, it is common courtesy to type GG when it's over, without going through the motions. And so it used to be in wars, too - back in the day they ended without sending every last soldier to battle.

 

[Unspoken7612]

What's distorted about the OP? Seems fairly alright.

It couldn't be a clearer demonstration of "compare and despair". It also demonstrates "discounting the positive", mind reading (how does OP know their family view them as a failure?), overgeneralisation, "fortune telling", "all-or-nothing thinking", and emotional reasoning.

I would politely suggest that someone who has spent four years on a suicide forum without even learning how depressed people think is in no position to accuse others of being "pro-life".