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Jess

Member
Jun 17, 2021
30
I don't think I'll ever be able to commit suicide cus I'm too much of a coward. I feel so trapped in here, I'll never escape this suffering.
 
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Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
You aren't alone. Me too.

If you are too coward like me to commit suicide, then you will by default need to have the courage to face life as it comes.

Those are the only two options at the end of day.
 
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alwaysdopesick

alwaysdopesick

Member
Oct 19, 2021
61
I'm not losing hope yet, I'll be able to od eventually
 
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Q

Quiet Desperation

Lonely wanderer
Dec 7, 2020
204
It's one of the scariest things we can face as humans. No matter what you decide you are no coward.
 
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milly

milly

uncertain of things
Nov 28, 2021
126
You are speaking our minds Jess.
 
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I

idiotstillwantstodie

Student
Nov 11, 2021
169
I don't think I'll ever be able to commit suicide cus I'm too much of a coward. I feel so trapped in here, I'll never escape this suffering.
Most people are cowards. That's why people successfully killing themselves is relatively rare. I also think it's important to distinguish between fear of death and fear of pain.

I personally don't fear death one bit. I've been wrong before, but i'm convinced it's the end of everything.

Pain on the other hand, i'm terrified of. Attempting suicide and failing could potentially lead to a sea of it. That's why it is imperative that you have someone watching over you, and if necessary, finishing the job for you.

Now if you been around long enough to see just what kind of miserable fucks some people are, (and you probably have since you want to die), it will be very hard to trust anyone with a job so important. If you just hired someone, they could chicken out, fail or get sadistic when push comes to shove. The only way you can have that trust in someone is that you have a legally binding contract.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,394
There is nothing cowardly about being unable to ctb, as we are programmed to survive after all. Ctb is very difficult, if it was easier I would already be gone. For me it is also the fear of failure and the fact that I am denied a peaceful exit which holds me back. Life is very horrible, I understand it is hard to carry on when you are constantly suffering. I wish you the best. I hope you find peace.
 
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A

After Life

Member
Nov 6, 2021
92
Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in the way you feel, we humans are programed to the bones to survive, you are not a coward it's your SI kicking in. That's why there are more people who survive then ctb. You are just being human and there is no shame in that ❤️
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
It's scary and totally unattractive. Like the burning building analogy - CTB must only seem more attractive then living. Even pointless living can be veeeeery dull but painless.
 
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SuicideRun

SuicideRun

Member
Jun 11, 2021
76
Even with all the reasons in the world to leave, it is not easy at the last minute to materialize CTB. Fear of suffering, fear of failure, a thousand thoughts. It is not easy for anyone.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
I don't think I'll ever be able to commit suicide cus I'm too much of a coward. I feel so trapped in here, I'll never escape this suffering.
Is it cowardice?. carrying on with life life is brave. I think ctb is incredibly difficult, not.to be taken lightly.
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,918
I don't think I'll ever be able to commit suicide cus I'm too much of a coward. I feel so trapped in here, I'll never escape this suffering.
Well, eventually your body will die regardless if that's any consolation.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Well, eventually your body will die regardless if that's any consolation.
I was just spending the afternoon with a 97-year-old man. Don't think I can wait.
 
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A

After Life

Member
Nov 6, 2021
92
I was just spending the afternoon with a 97-year-old man. Don't think I can wait.
My neighbor is 80 and he is out 7 days a week, gose out for beers with his friends 3/4 days a week. Nothing seems to slow him down at all.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
My neighbor is 80 and he is out 7 days a week, gose out for beers with his friends 3/4 days a week. Nothing seems to slow him down at all.
Some people seem able to cling on to life, never facing the inevitability that we all do die. Even when half gaga, they carry on driving with blinkered vision. Ive had near misses with old people. Some shouldn't be driving. My neighbour who is 87, is always complaining about the parking spaces.. I won't get like that.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Some people seem able to cling on to life, never facing the inevitability that we all do die. Even when half gaga, they carry on driving with blinkered vision. Ive had near misses with old people. Some shouldn't be driving. My neighbour who is 87, is always complaining about the parking spaces.. I won't get like that.
Billions of people cling to life despite misery - it's astonishing - I bet most never even consider CTB…
 
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W

William01

Student
Nov 2, 2021
154
This is the basic surviving instinct not to feel cowardly about! If it helps I can relate to this as well. Either continuing in my miserable existence to fight thru that surving instinct and ctb. I like to now refer to this as "the enemy within". I am still considering ctb but have to get past this...
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
This is the basic surviving instinct not to feel cowardly about! If it helps I can relate to this as well. Either continuing in my miserable existence to fight thru that surving instinct and ctb. I like to now refer to this as "the enemy within". I am still considering ctb but have to get past this...
Get past what?
 

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