If you've not died, following an OD, how did you feel (emotionally) when you came around?

[Cockney_Rebel]

I've taken so many ODs.

So many.

Some are for self harm (paracetamol) to get my fix while I'm stockpiling for my proper attempts.

However, my "big ones" are when I'm actively making an attempt on my life.

The first big one (where I actually died twice) was surreal when I was brought out of the coma. I remember a feeling of excitement, maybe because it occurred to me that I actually had the balls to do what I did? It was all completely new to me at the time, so I didn't know the ropes. This was mixed with anger, and sheer determination to do it again. I remember being explosive towards the staff, but in my defence, I was completely psychotic at the time (was convinced I was being experimented on, in a spaceship.)

I have to admit, there have been occasions where I've been happy after coming around following an OD. Maybe this was the body's self preservation response? I don't know.

How about you?

 

[WornOutLife]

I felt totally frustrated, especially the last time because I knew hell was coming and it did. I was 6 months in prison (hospital and my parents' house)

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

I've given up on making attempts until I have a viable method that I'm 100% on going through with.

In the past when I made suicide attempts I was met with contempt and apathy.

There was this one particularly awful time where I tried to kill myself after a group of men were making fun about how I ugly I am when I was already having a bad day.

I took an OD of whatever anti-depressant I had at the time and long story short I ended up in the hospital with my drunk dad swearing and berating me whilst I could hear over the curtains the doctors with thinly veiled disinterest about how ODing on antidepressants isn't harmful and I'm more or less an attention seeking nuisance.

I've seen people OD on paracetamol gain more sympathy.

I'm also sick of being escorted to hospital in police cars and ambulances.

I don't think people understand how scary death is. No matter how much you want to die you'll always be afraid of pain and what comes next. People take this as you not actually wanting to do it or just being attention seeking but believe me I genuinely want to die. It's just not that easy.

Doesn't help that I suffer from paranoia and think I'm going to be reincarnated into an even worse life.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I've given up on making attempts until I have a viable method that I'm 100% on going through with.

In the past when I made suicide attempts I was met with contempt and apathy.

There was this one particularly awful time where I tried to kill myself after a group of men were making fun about how I ugly I am when I was already having a bad day.

I took an OD of whatever anti-depressant I had at the time and long story short I ended up in the hospital with my drunk dad swearing and berating me whilst I could hear over the curtains the doctors with thinly veiled disinterest about how ODing on antidepressants isn't harmful and I'm more or less an attention seeking nuisance.

I've seen people OD on paracetamol gain more sympathy.

I'm also sick of being escorted to hospital in police cars and ambulances.

I don't think people understand how scary death is. No matter how much you want to die you'll always be afraid of pain and what comes next. People take this as you not actually wanting to do it or just being attention seeking but believe me I genuinely want to die. It's just not that easy.

Doesn't help that I suffer from paranoia and think I'm going to be reincarnated into an even worse life.

You sound like a beautiful person to me.

 

[highndry]

ashamed.

didn't help that my brother phoned me after I came to basically just to call me a selfish c**t

 

[Aeathelina]

Last OD of pills was four years ago.
So fucking angry that I didn't die and suffered weeks of sickness (didn't go to the hospital)
Gonna try again once I get myself underweight

 

[anna.voig]

A piece of shit. Can't do anything right, not even die. I'm tired of this.

I've given up on making attempts until I have a viable method that I'm 100% on going through with.

In the past when I made suicide attempts I was met with contempt and apathy.

There was this one particularly awful time where I tried to kill myself after a group of men were making fun about how I ugly I am when I was already having a bad day.

I took an OD of whatever anti-depressant I had at the time and long story short I ended up in the hospital with my drunk dad swearing and berating me whilst I could hear over the curtains the doctors with thinly veiled disinterest about how ODing on antidepressants isn't harmful and I'm more or less an attention seeking nuisance.

I've seen people OD on paracetamol gain more sympathy.

I'm also sick of being escorted to hospital in police cars and ambulances.

I don't think people understand how scary death is. No matter how much you want to die you'll always be afraid of pain and what comes next. People take this as you not actually wanting to do it or just being attention seeking but believe me I genuinely want to die. It's just not that easy.

Doesn't help that I suffer from paranoia and think I'm going to be reincarnated into an even worse life.

Sorry... how can someone OD on paracetamol? Is it really possible?

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

A piece of shit. Can't do anything right, not even die. I'm tired of this.

Sorry... how can someone OD on paracetamol? Is it really possible?

No it will fail and you'll end up with lived damage.

My point was that they treat people that OD on paracetamol which most people know is not lethal than they did on what I OD'd on which can really fuck up your nerves. And it did but it was temporary thankfully

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I've overdosed 3 times but only 1 significant one where I intended to die. I was very disappointed when I woke up.