hewiof
Member
- Mar 24, 2024
- 22
I've set this thread to be posted a week after today. I intend to go through with full hanging later tonight. I've been semi-active on sasu for about a year, through some different accounts that I kept forgetting my passwords to. I would've made a goodbye thread but I thought that might be distressing for users who've spoken with me at length. Though I won't be able to chat with you all and see any of your well wishes, I think everyone dies alone and maybe I should face that head on.
I'm 18F, have lived a privileged life objectively speaking but I'm suffering and I'm ready for the pain to stop. I'm pretty happy that the end is coming soon, though it does make me a bit upset that I'm throwing all my potential away, but I can't bear to keep on having to live this life. All the obligations responsibilities commitments expectations (even though those are mostly imposed by me on myself) are too much and I feel that no matter what direction my life takes whether it be good or bad I will remain deeply unsatisfied. Many longitudinal studies which have followed up with adolescents who've attempted ctb many years later show that most of them are content with life, but I feel that no amount of joy that awaits me in the future is worth experiencing the pain I feel now.
anyway I'm not sure why I'm rambling on because it's not like I'm going to be there to see this be posted after I'm dead. My best wishes to everyone on this forum, you all have been through a lot of shit yourselves, and you all have been incredibly kind to me, regardless of my decision to live or die. I hope you all find happiness, whatever form that takes for you. Bye <3
I'm 18F, have lived a privileged life objectively speaking but I'm suffering and I'm ready for the pain to stop. I'm pretty happy that the end is coming soon, though it does make me a bit upset that I'm throwing all my potential away, but I can't bear to keep on having to live this life. All the obligations responsibilities commitments expectations (even though those are mostly imposed by me on myself) are too much and I feel that no matter what direction my life takes whether it be good or bad I will remain deeply unsatisfied. Many longitudinal studies which have followed up with adolescents who've attempted ctb many years later show that most of them are content with life, but I feel that no amount of joy that awaits me in the future is worth experiencing the pain I feel now.
anyway I'm not sure why I'm rambling on because it's not like I'm going to be there to see this be posted after I'm dead. My best wishes to everyone on this forum, you all have been through a lot of shit yourselves, and you all have been incredibly kind to me, regardless of my decision to live or die. I hope you all find happiness, whatever form that takes for you. Bye <3
