Story "If you're going to CTB, I'll go with you"

[ClaudeCTTE]

Today I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I don't know why I ended up with a smile.

We were talking about CTB, and I told him about "a forum that talks openly about CTB".
I also told him about my desire to leave this world and CTB methods.

I thought he was going to say something pro-life, but it turned out he told me where I could easily get N.
I couldn't believe what he was telling me, but it still left an impression on me.
He also mentioned where I could find F, but he said that N was better.

However, despite respecting my decision and advising me on CTB methods, he said:


"If you're going to CTB, I'll go with you, because I, as your psychiatrist, will accompany you wherever you go."


I was speechless, but he explained that he would do so simply because my departure would affect his job, as he would get in trouble with the government for "promoting CTB".

My psychiatrist is young (around 30 years old), and he even talks to me as if I were his friend, not his patient.

I don't know what to think...

Even though my therapist respects my decision, she tell me that my psychiatrist will only tell me what I want to hear...

 

[Cress]

I also have a therapist that is fairly open to talking about CTB. Sometimes what you can do is form what they call a contract for safety Where you make a verbal agreement that you will show up to your appointment next week. This allowed me to get around some of the more intense conversations regarding CTB As it's actually fairly helpful to discuss suicidality with other people At least For yourself but it takes a tremendous toll on the other person.

Even with contract for safety sometimes I still ended up getting hospitalized Pretty much in all cases that resulted in the conversation being closed off forever with that person. However from their perspective they view it as doing the right thing. So I would get hospitalized stare at a wall for a week and leave not feeling any different just more resolved not to talk about plans with any one.

If you feel like talking about how you feel with your psychiatrist is beneficial then I probably wouldn't doubt it too much And it doesn't sound like they're gonna hospitalize you for being too extreme

 

[kelimackie]

Holy fuck, never seen anything like it. It could be just bait, it's just very baffling indeed.

 

[letmejoindeath]

I also have a therapist that is fairly open to talking about CTB. Sometimes what you can do is form what they call a contract for safety Where you make a verbal agreement that you will show up to your appointment next week. This allowed me to get around some of the more intense conversations regarding CTB As it's actually fairly helpful to discuss suicidality with other people At least For yourself but it takes a tremendous toll on the other person.

Even with contract for safety sometimes I still ended up getting hospitalized Pretty much in all cases that resulted in the conversation being closed off forever with that person. However from their perspective they view it as doing the right thing. So I would get hospitalized stare at a wall for a week and leave not feeling any different just more resolved not to talk about plans with any one.

If you feel like talking about how you feel with your psychiatrist is beneficial then I probably wouldn't doubt it too much And it doesn't sound like they're gonna hospitalize you for being too extreme

I'll never seek help from anyone again. I haven't written any of my thoughts down on paper because I don't trust anyone who would have access to it. Not necessarily that persons fault but from getting burned too many times for being honest or writing shit down.

 

[HD72]

Today I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I don't know why I ended up with a smile.

We were talking about CTB, and I told him about "a forum that talks openly about CTB".
I also told him about my desire to leave this world and CTB methods.

I thought he was going to say something pro-life, but it turned out he told me where I could easily get N.
I couldn't believe what he was telling me, but it still left an impression on me.
He also mentioned where I could find F, but he said that N was better.

However, despite respecting my decision and advising me on CTB methods, he said:


"If you're going to CTB, I'll go with you, because I, as your psychiatrist, will accompany you wherever you go."


I was speechless, but he explained that he would do so simply because my departure would affect his job, as he would get in trouble with the government for "promoting CTB".

My psychiatrist is young (around 30 years old), and he even talks to me as if I were his friend, not his patient.

I don't know what to think...

Even though my therapist respects my decision, she tell me that my psychiatrist will only tell me what I want to hear...

Christ I hate that u feel so badly u want to die. I hate that my second thought was please PM me & tell me where I can get N. I was never this person. Pain will change u.

 

[Tobacco]

I put myself mentally in this situation and my SI kicked in because it would mean death can be actually close and certain if I decide it.

Also, could this psychiatrist be suffering from depression too?

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

I put myself mentally in this situation and my SI kicked in because it would mean death can be actually close and certain if I decide it.

Also, could this psychiatrist be suffering from depression too?

He told me he had depression when he was younger, but was able to overcome it.
However, he says he had several patients who did CTB. He said it depressed him to see his patients not getting better, because he felt useless and saw no point in being a psychiatrist.
So since he believes I would do CTB, he would rather leave this world with me than suffer.

 

[Aim]

He told me he had depression when he was younger, but was able to overcome it.
However, he says he had several patients who did CTB. He said it depressed him to see his patients not getting better, because he felt useless and saw no point in being a psychiatrist.
So since he believes I would do CTB, he would rather leave this world with me than suffer.

Is this for real?

 

[venomousSSërpent74]

Today I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I don't know why I ended up with a smile.

We were talking about CTB, and I told him about "a forum that talks openly about CTB".
I also told him about my desire to leave this world and CTB methods.

I thought he was going to say something pro-life, but it turned out he told me where I could easily get N.
I couldn't believe what he was telling me, but it still left an impression on me.
He also mentioned where I could find F, but he said that N was better.

However, despite respecting my decision and advising me on CTB methods, he said:


"If you're going to CTB, I'll go with you, because I, as your psychiatrist, will accompany you wherever you go."


I was speechless, but he explained that he would do so simply because my departure would affect his job, as he would get in trouble with the government for "promoting CTB".

My psychiatrist is young (around 30 years old), and he even talks to me as if I were his friend, not his patient.

I don't know what to think...

Even though my therapist respects my decision, she tell me that my psychiatrist will only tell me what I want to hear...

This is very suprising to hear as most therapist would do the opposite i can't imagine what type of things a therapist hears everyday so honestly that's kind of like freedom and relief for both of you.But that is also good that your therapist is open to hearing you talking about CTB and doesn't pressure you and lets you have a choice. Even giving methods which is also suprising and i'm glad that you have a therapist that doesen't go the usual route because that really doesn't help at all.

 

[fallintotheshadows]

I put myself mentally in this situation and my SI kicked in because it would mean death can be actually close and certain if I decide it.

Also, could this psychiatrist be suffering from depression too?

My belief is that everyone has depression and so if therapists and all that are always failing in being able to help well its because of the fact that it isn't curable. It will always be there even when we tell ourselves that we are ok now from a therapist.

 

[Tobacco]

My belief is that everyone has depression and so if therapists and all that are always failing in being able to help well its because of the fact that it isn't curable. It will always be there even when we tell ourselves that we are ok now from a therapist.

Since I've had major depressive episodes I just feel always on the verge of falling into it again.

 

[Aim]

Is this for real?

Is this for real

Is this for real?

i dont know what to say, this is just sad and the most surreal thing i have ever heard about. for both you and him/her. How do/did you as a patient respond to that

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

Is this for real?

Honestly, what my psychiatrist said made me feel calmer because he knows it's inevitable that I do it, and he wanted to ask me what methods I was planning to use. That's when he told me that he knew several methods, but I doubt if he knows how to obtain those methods.
He trusts me and talks to me as if I were his friend. I could say that his patients are usually younger than me, and I might even say it's his specialty because he also works with children, but of course, he won't tell them the same thing he tells me. He doesn't force me to do it; he simply tells me to think about the consequences if I do it.

On the other hand, my therapist (my therapist and my psychiatrist are two different people) respects my decision but doesn't give me advice because she knows I came to her supposedly to "improve my quality of life," but I don't know, my ADHD makes me feel very indecisive, and I don't feel hopeful about improving my life.

 

[Aim]

Honestly, what my psychiatrist said made me feel calmer because he knows it's inevitable that I do it, and he wanted to ask me what methods I was planning to use. That's when he told me that he knew several methods, but I doubt if he knows how to obtain those methods.
He trusts me and talks to me as if I were his friend. I could say that his patients are usually younger than me, and I might even say it's his specialty because he also works with children, but of course, he won't tell them the same thing he tells me. He doesn't force me to do it; he simply tells me to think about the consequences if I do it.

On the other hand, my therapist (my therapist and my psychiatrist are two different people) respects my decision but doesn't give me advice because she knows I came to her supposedly to "improve my quality of life," but I don't know, my ADHD makes me feel very indecisive, and I don't feel hopeful about improving my life.

ahaa okay, that sounds very good to hear. I mean since, its good to know that you didnt get shamed for being hounest about how you feel. <3 Then it made alot more sence <3

 

[flower_g1rl]

that is... interesting. i wish i had your therapist, if true. ironically, i was just daydreaming about something similar

 

[LonelyKitten]

That is a bold approach to see form a mental health professional.
Maybe because they're young, they're struggling with becoming disillusioned by the system and its constraints in actually helping people?

Or it's some L-level strategy. Be direct, upfront.
Make you feel fully understood and in like company, to ease your feelings, or put pressure on you not to do it?

Whether it's a genuine expression or not, it definitely gets deeper into your head than any of the standard responses we're all used to by this point.

 

[almostovernow]

I also speak openly about it with my therpists….but my country has medically assisted dying and I speak about it in that context. Also, I have truthfully told them that I can't go until my parents and disabled, traumatized dog leave this plane. Two down, 1 to go. The dog is an 11 year old large breed.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

That is a bold approach to see form a mental health professional.
Maybe because they're young, they're struggling with becoming disillusioned by the system and its constraints in actually helping people?

Or it's some L-level strategy. Be direct, upfront.
Make you feel fully understood and in like company, to ease your feelings, or put pressure on you not to do it?

Whether it's a genuine expression or not, it definitely gets deeper into your head than any of the standard responses we're all used to by this point.

It's difficult for me to know who is right. My therapist and my psychiatrist have ideas that completely clash with each other, to the point where I have to choose whom to agree with.

My therapist (she) always focuses on finding a solution to my problems through tolerance and exploring new things that interest me. She respects my decision (CTB) but doesn't want to discuss about CTB and always wants us to go back to the starting point (what do you want to study/work on?), as she doesn't want me to go down a path that isn't right.

On the other hand, my psychiatrist (he) tries to accept all my thoughts and provides solutions related to those thoughts, to the point where what he says appeals to me much more than what my therapist says because I think he simplifies things for me. However, this is where they both make me wonder who is right, as I've had the opportunity to talk to my therapist about my psychiatrist and vice versa, and it seems there's no agreement between the two.

To make it simpler:
1. "I'm not interested in going to university."

My therapist: "You have to find something you like; you won't know until you try it, that's why you came here."​

My psychiatrist: "Studying isn't necessary; if you're not interested, that's okay. Let's now focus on what really affects you."​

2. "I can't stand being with my family."

My therapist: "You have to tolerate your family and stop suffering because of others. Let them be who they are and focus on yourself."​

My psychiatrist: "I see your life is very troublesome, why not move away from them and live on your own?"​

3. "I don't like socializing much/having many friends."

My therapist: "You need to socialize to live; you can't be alone all the time. Look for activities where you can meet people."​

My psychiatrist: "It's not bad to have few friends; it's entirely normal. Now, look for things you can comfortably do that don't force you to do something you don't like."​

This is when they both criticize each other for their ideas.

My therapist says that my psychiatrist only accepts things without providing a solid solution and that he says everything just to gain my trust. Furthermore, she says his job is to prescribe medication and observe how it works on me, not to provide solutions.

Meanwhile, my psychiatrist says that my therapist doesn't accept what I think and doesn't try to explore what's affecting me. Instead, she always takes me back to the starting point, making it impossible to progress because she doesn't accept my ideas and seeks to provide solutions to help me on the path to a better quality of life.