V

V0latile

And God decreed, “Coronavirus spread forth!”
Sep 24, 2019
234
Like among people you know.
I wish I had no one. I would ctb right now in that case. I'm supposed to be blessed because my parents care. I wish they didn't. Even though I'm grown and don't live with them it's difficult. If my mom died, I think I could do it. She's a health nut though and despite being elderly will probably live another 20 years. I hate this situation!
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
It would destroy my girlfriend which in turn destroys me. My mum too although I can't say I care that much. Just enough to not tell her how she could have done more. There's nothing to be gained from passing the guilt on and my brother still needs her. He's innocent in all this but I hardly ever see him and it's better that way. I think he'll manage. I know my dad will. In his words "your mum will be devastated"
 
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HereToday

HereToday

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
437
No one will care when I die. Not even my parents. You'd think that would make it easier, but it doesn't. It makes it much harder, like I still have unfinished business. Knowing no one will care or miss you is a terrible feeling. Like your life had no meaning at all
 
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Green Destiny

Green Destiny

Life isn't worth the trouble.
Nov 16, 2019
862
Pretty sure my mom, dad, siblings and a few friends would be utterly devastated. Rather unfortunate since if I had no one then no one would have to be sad and upset about it.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
I try not to think about the fallout since I am ctbing for myself and not sticking around so others can be happy.
 
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S

Soulstax

Member
Jan 12, 2020
72
Everyone. I'm very kind and respectful, helpful, caring, etc. But after I'm gone, it won't affect me, so I don't worry about it much. Sounds selfish I know, but that's how it goes.
 
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D

Daffodil

Student
Dec 23, 2019
130
No one will care when I die. Not even my parents. You'd think that would make it easier, but it doesn't. It makes it much harder, like I still have unfinished business. Knowing no one will care or miss you is a terrible feeling. Like your life had no meaning at all
I think something to think about is people will start to forget about us and our lives will become less meaningful after we're gone. The same thing will happen for people who die of natural causes. We all become forgotten.

It stinks, and it's not fun to think about, but it's a fact.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
i know for a fact that my mother and two of my brothers will be absolutely devastated, to be honest i think that one of them may even snap and go insane from the grief but all of them will be ruined for years and years. their lives will never be the same and it hurts to know.

and those are the only ones i care about, others may cry and be sad for some time, but frankly, i don't care about them.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
I think something to think about is people will start to forget about us and our lives will become less meaningful after we're gone. The same thing will happen for people who die of natural causes. We all become forgotten.

It stinks, and it's not fun to think about, but it's a fact.

I don't think people will forget about you. They will just move on and adapt to life without you.
 
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porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
Family would be devastated. Not sure if my dad would even survive it. altho he survived my moms death so. I don't know.
Im sure bro and sis would move on.
My friends would hurt but still live their lives. What else do you do?
Leave my students behind but they hate me anyway.
I have unfinished business with home.. two homes and roommates... probably annoyed as hell to them me leaving my crap in both places.
But life goes on.
I don't have husband or kids or anything.
My friend would probably take my cat
Not sure what would happen to all my debts.

For me.. I worry if there's a hell I'll go there. Because I know my actions in my situation would be extremely selfish and pulling the plug so I don't face consequences of crap I've done in few months.
 
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V

V0latile

And God decreed, “Coronavirus spread forth!”
Sep 24, 2019
234
No one will care when I die. Not even my parents. You'd think that would make it easier, but it doesn't. It makes it much harder, like I still have unfinished business. Knowing no one will care or miss you is a terrible feeling. Like your life had no meaning at all
No one's life has any real meaning.
 
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HereToday

HereToday

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
437
No one's life has any real meaning.
In that case why bother asking the question? Or caring about your family if life is meaningless? If that was truly the case you wouldn't be hesitating to ctb
 
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WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
In that case why bother asking the question? Or caring about your family if life is meaningless? If that was truly the case you wouldn't be hesitating to ctb
So now someone can't ask a question now? The body is built to survive. Just like everyone else here. Try asking that to the millions of other people out there in the world that think life is meaningless. They're still alive.
 
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M

Moon Flower

I'll soon be sleeping sound
Oct 14, 2019
536
My ex would be a mess. My friend group would be a mess for probably like, a day. My parents already ctb so there'd be nothing there. My sister would probably be upset, but less about losing me and more about being the last of our immediate family alive/not to ctb
 
HereToday

HereToday

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
437
So now someone can't ask a question now? The body is built to survive. Just like everyone else here. Try asking that to the millions of other people out there in the world that think life is meaningless. They're still alive.
Discussing this with you is futile, as many others have found out. The 'millions of other people' you mention aren't on a suicide website. Good day to you
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
No one's life has any real meaning.
Yes and no. Just when you think it would make no difference if you were here or not something you say or do does. It's just whether it's good or bad and what it means to you.
 
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WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
Life is utterly meaningless. People who seem to say that life has some sort of meaning have an optimism bias.
 
D

Duk3_0f_3ll1ngt0n

Member
Jan 12, 2020
14
spouse i don't think would care too much. I think she'd be a little sad at first, but more angry than anything else. My kids would be devastated.... my parents would be as well. Everybody else, probably wouldn't care too much. Probably get some nice flowers, coroner or someone would probably want to do an entire autopsy to confirm S, and then it'd probably be a closed casket cause "he doesn't look the way he should.... yada yada...."
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
This is one of those questions that makes me want to keep hanging on.

My close friends and most of my immediate family would be destroyed. One of my sisters probably wouldn't be too bothered. I'm not sure my parents would easily recover.

I honestly don't know about my son. He's grown and doesn't rely on me. He usually forgets to acknowledge me. Based on past behavior, he might just cash in on the tragedy to score points with girls or something. I hope he really loves me, though. I tried to be a good mom.

Not only would my best friend be crushed, he'd most likely be the one who would have to deal with my apartment and whatever I leave. This is why it's so important to me that I have it very clean and packed up. I don't want him to have a ton of work on top of everything else, and I don't want it to fall on my landlord either. He's been nothing but nice to me.

I have a lot of casual friends and family I'm not super close to that still like me. They'd be sad, but it won't be life altering. I think most everyone will be extremely surprised, though. I sometimes get the impression I'm more important to casual people than I realize, so this part might be inaccurate.

My cat's dead now, so I no longer have to worry about her. Until now she was a huge concern, because I was her world. I was the only person she was comfortable with. I'd had her since since she was born 15 years ago.
 
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HereToday

HereToday

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
437
This is one of those questions that makes me want to keep hanging on.

My close friends and most of my immediate family would be destroyed. One of my sisters probably wouldn't be too bothered. I'm not sure my parents would easily recover.

I honestly don't know about my son. He's grown and doesn't rely on me. He usually forgets to acknowledge me. Based on past behavior, he might just cash in on the tragedy to score points with girls or something. I hope he really loves me, though. I tried to be a good mom.

Not only would my best friend be crushed, he'd most likely be the one who would have to deal with my apartment and whatever I leave. This is why it's so important to me that I have it very clean and packed up. I don't want him to have a ton of work on top of everything else, and I don't want it to fall on my landlord either. He's been nothing but nice to me.

I have a lot of casual friends and family I'm not super close to that still like me. They'd be sad, but it won't be life altering. I think most everyone will be extremely surprised, though. I sometimes get the impression I'm more important to casual people than I realize, so this part might be inaccurate.

My cat's dead now, so I no longer have to worry about her. Until now she was a huge concern, because I was her world. I was the only person she was comfortable with. I'd had her since since she was born 15 years ago.
If it's any comfort, I'm sure your son will care. My parents were extremely abusive and I don't have much of a relationship with them, but I'd still be sad if they died especially by suicide
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
If it's any comfort, I'm sure your son will care. My parents were extremely abusive and I don't have much of a relationship with them, but I'd still be sad if they died especially by suicide
Thank you.
 
D

Daffodil

Student
Dec 23, 2019
130
I've started distancing myself from people too. I think it will help.

They might feel guilty for not reaching out more, but they will get over it.
 
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Shinbu

Shinbu

Shiki
Nov 23, 2019
477
My grandma, and grandpa. My real dad (unexpected visit) I don't like him. My brother, and step mom would know that I died that's if I did a stat dose of SN at my grandparents house I would never ctb when I'm at my grandparents. I'll do my stat dose at home.
 
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LegaliseIt!

LegaliseIt!

Elementalist
Nov 29, 2019
808
Most of my family would help mix up the SN!

I have distanced myself from friends as my behaviour has become more erratic.

My husband is a lovely man, but he is exhausted from dealing with me for 30 years, and that's why I have to wait until he absolutely won't find me.

It will literally be months before I can finally set him free. I have to wait until he leaves town for a few days, and I will only have a few days notice.

I also want to atone for being such a vile person and so I am providing a short term home for a dog now.

Nothing will happen quickly, but it will happen, and I will finally be at peace.
 
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precipice

precipice

New Member
Dec 2, 2019
4
my mom and dad would spend the rest of their days with that grey complexion parents of dead kids always have. my brother would be crushed for a while but he's got a life ahead of him, eventually I'd just be a secret or story for him to share with his wife and kids, unless I stick around long enough to meet them.
I had friends, but we're distant now. they'd be disappointed but I don't think they'd cry.
I've been thinking of ways to distance myself from my family, too, but I don't think it's gonna happen.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,819
The fallout would be immense, especially with my immediate family (sister, mother, and father), they would be looking for reasons, grieving horribly and always questioning what they could have done differently. My mother would be hit one of the worst (she is nearing retirement age, but not fully there yet) and would be grieving for a long time. As for my father, he would be sad, but eventually he would move on and do his best to live the rest of his remaining years life (he's also approaching/at retirement age). It is one thing for someone in the family to pass, but going before one's parents would cause a lot of grief among one's parents. However, on the same token, I never consented to birth, therefore, I don't believe that I should just 'live' for their sake (or anyone's for the matter).

As for my sister, she would indeed be very sad, but she has a husband and they have their entire lives ahead. The worst part would be that my sister (she's basically a psychiatrist in training - doing residency in other words) would likely push the angle of suicide prevention hard and write off suicide as an 'irrational choice, mental illness' without even considering all the circumstances. It sucks that there are people like my sister out there (in fact, the majority of the general population in the world) and there is little, if anything to change their views, but I can't just continue to live and suffer tremendously just so people like her (and there are a lot) don't try to use my death as some sort poster boy/girl of suicide prevention.

Then as far as other people in my life, they don't really have contact on a regular basis, but upon hearing the news, yes they would be very sad, but just like my immediate family, they would be a bit less sad (because it's not their own family), and move on a bit more quickly. The unfortunate part is that a fair amount of those people are religious (no offense to religious people in general), so they would view suicide as a 'sin' and that is simply not true (as someone who is an atheist who studied the Bible and understood it more than most Christians), and even if it is, it certainly isn't a sin enough to go to eternal torment, aka Hell. Now in regards to secular people in my life, they would write it off as 'mental illness' and 'irrational' choice, which is really a spit in the face.

Regardless of the fallout or impact, I cannot simply just stay alive just so people don't feel sadness at my passing, and also, once I'm dead, nothing matters beyond that point (as I wouldn't be around to argue, challenge, or even suffer the aftermath). When the day I die, it would be a relief from suffering and my notes would serve as a purpose for understanding and closure. Then beyond that, it is up to the living to decide how they wish to proceed from that point on.
 
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TVtrays

TVtrays

Member
May 6, 2019
99
I'm sure my friends would be devastated. My mum and dad would be, too, but that's irrelevant to me.
My ex girlfriend's stuff is still at my place. She's scared of my parents so it would be unlikely that she'd be able to get it back.
I'm certain most of my friends see my suicide as something that's inevitable so I don't think it would come as much of a surprise to them. I have it in my head that they would think "finally! I was wondering when she was going to actually do it"
I fear that if my parents found me dead, my friends would never know what happened to me. It would be a mystery. I don't trust them at all to be honest about my death.
One of the family dogs is super attached to me. I know he'd wonder where I am. I made sure to hug him extra tight the last time I attempted to ctb. I just wanted him to know how much I love him...
Most of my reasons for delay involve mostly loose ends tbh
I know my death would cause pain but I know my friends would move on. Idc how my parents feel, soo, yeah, that's where I am with this.
 
Tempeste

Tempeste

Member
Jan 11, 2020
60
My husband would probably need heavy sedation.
My daughter would cry but then go back to her room and write in her graphic novels. The usual crowd will make social media claims about being there for suicidal people and how they would have been there for me, failing to realize that them already turning their backs on me being uncomfortable around me and these issues was one reason I chose to go, it'll be the chief topic of this small towns gossip with a lot of whispered I always knew there was something wrong with her's and oh her poor husband to have lived with that nut.
 
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R_N

R_N

-Memento Mori-
Dec 3, 2019
1,442
My mother would be devastated. I am afraid she wouldn't be able to move on. I still wish I am dead even tho it could destroy her. It is selfish I know but living is hell.
 

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