If you saw hurt that surprised you would you come back?

[Ross]

I'm not a religious person so don't believe this scenario could ever exist so totally hypothetical question.

Looking at so many posts on here we all feel lonely, so many posts how family and friends don't give a shit, got zero friends. Would be better off gone etc.

say you do CBT and go to heaven and could watch over everyone on earth. If you saw a massive turn out of people that genuinely cared to your funeral (obviously they'd still be old school mates who go for ride and not give shit... ignore them idiots) however if you see friends or family that u thought didn't care as hadn't picked up phone in while (but in fairness you know you didn't call them either) - if you see these people proper broken, crying into pillow for months / years on end.
would you want to go back? Even if only to comfort them and explain? And would it be different or would you want to leave again ?

 

[noctiva]

I wrote this today in the thread 'Random Thoughts':
'I need to die to be missed and wanted, but I would like to be missed and wanted before. I don't know when to ctb, because I'm scared to miss that someone will actually miss me.'
This is my struggle, I do not know when the right time for my ctb is, I am not missed now, no one reaches out, all people IRL don't seem to care despite me actually reaching out, asking for help indirectly and directly, even saying 'I need help, please help me', with no response or I get a 'I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm hosting a party today' (and that was more than 3 weeks ago now..).
I would just die, if I was sure that no one cared. But I am afraid that there is one person who will be devastated (and according to his words, he would be, but not enough to do anything while I'm still alive).. but if it was true, and he was in fact devastated, I would want to come back to console him. But I know that that is not possible, so I'm trying to figure out when to kill myself, because I don't know if he will miss me before I die at all, or only after. I don't know when to die, and it is eating me up.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

I know that my 3 friends care and I'm truly blessed with that however I can't stay alive for someone, I cry everyday and wake up in so much pain only because I'm still alive.
I'm also starting to feel sorry for talking to them everyday about how suicidal I am, I believe that there will be a bit of relief and peace for them as well as they don't have to worry about me anymore.
My answer will be no and I do really hope that when I ctb which will be as soon as I got my sn that they will be okay

 

[Ross]

I know that my 3 friends care and I'm truly blessed with that however I can't stay alive for someone, I cry everyday and wake up in so much pain only because I'm still alive.
I'm also starting to feel sorry for talking to them everyday about how suicidal I am, I believe that there will be a bit of relief and peace for them as well as they don't have to worry about me anymore.
My answer will be no and I do really hope that when I ctb which will be as soon as I got my sn that they will be okay

they must be close to open up to like that about such a subject. I'm sure others wish they had such friend .
At least you've already told them and no doubt told them u love them too before u cbt ... not saying it'll be easier for them but they will surely get comfort in knowing you cared enough to open up. Just make it clear they couldn't of done or sad anything to change ur mind as u don't want them living with guilt or ".if only's"

 

[Santiago]

No. Once I would return everything would go back to how it was.

That's how that works with everything. You miss something once you don't have it anymore and then once you get it back you will take it for granted again.

 

[mathieu]

No. I just can't cope with being alive anymore, even though I don't want to hurt anyone, I just can't go on.

 

[Ross]

No. Once I would return everything would go back to how it was.

That's how that works with everything. You miss something once you don't have it anymore and then once you get it back you will take it for granted again.

no truer word spoken. I took my friend for granted now it eats be everyday.

 

[NeCkDeEp]

they must be close to open up to like that about such a subject. I'm sure others wish they had such friend .
At least you've already told them and no doubt told them u love them too before u cbt ... not saying it'll be easier for them but they will surely get comfort in knowing you cared enough to open up. Just make it clear they couldn't of done or sad anything to change ur mind as u don't want them living with guilt or ".if only's"

I feel sorry for the people who haven't got friends like mine, all 3 of them are so supportive and they're the kind of friends everyone deserves.
I hope that the people who will choose for recovery instead of ctb that they will end up with friends like mine, friends who will keep supporting them no matter how they feel.
I'm aware of that thank you so much, I will write somewhere these days a personal text for every single person which will explain that they've done everything they could. The personal text will be delayed and sent to them in the afternoon, I plan on taking SN during the middle of the night and texting all of them that I love them before drinking SN so they will have a text of me telling them that I love them one last time as well.

 

[FohPah]

I've started to think of it this way:

I'm already dead. My family just doesn't know it yet.

If I keep living, then it will be a long, downward spiral, with all the same disappointments as if I had died. The only difference between me dying now and me dying later, from my family's perspective, is that if I die now, then they'll have to face the grief all at once instead of spread out over decades.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I'd only want to come back for my family.
I'd be moved if certain people showed up crying but with my crippling trust issues I can never be sure if they're authentic in their feelings or they are just faking it out of an obligation.
Preferably once I die I wouldn't care about what happens in my good old town anymore.

 

[BlueWidow]

I'm not having a funeral and everyone I love and who loves me is dead, except for maybe 2 people, possibly 3. I care for the ones who are left, but not enough to come back here. One is an older person who will die sooner than later, and they all have families and lives of their own. They'd have support to get over my death.

And I totally agree with @Santiago's statement above. The minute I came back, things would go right back to how they are now.
No thank you!

 

[Fragile]

No, i've known all my life that my suicide is just inevitable, even if i see how much pain my death will cause i wouldn't come back, i'll be coming to my ill and damaged body and my shitty situation, this is not something that i or anyone can fix.

 

[k75]

This is a lesson I do not need, and I really hope it doesn't happen. I'm very lucky and have friends and family who care about me very much. I'm fully aware of it, and it causes me a lot of grief. There's no way to not hurt the people I'll leave behind.

My reasons are separate from that and are completely unrelated, so I still want to die despite it and it hurts extra now because I know I'll be doing a lot of damage to others. And that's just how I feel having the knowledge while I can still avoid doing it, so I can't imagine the hell of actually seeing what I've done and not being able to fix it.

I'm not sure I worded that correctly, but hopefully you understand what I meant.

 

[Jean4]

I've started to think of it this way:

I'm already dead. My family just doesn't know it yet.

If I keep living, then it will be a long, downward spiral, with all the same disappointments as if I had died. The only difference between me dying now and me dying later, from my family's perspective, is that if I die now, then they'll have to face the grief all at once instead of spread out over decades.

Very nice statement

 

[Moonicide]

Absolutely not. I would never come back.
No one ever looked out for me while I was still alive, so they can save the crocodile tears. You should have loved me then, not now.
I refuse to keep on living to save people from pain, when I am the one hurting so badly and have no reason or purpose to live besides them.

 

[R_N]

Of course not. My illness would still be there. Sounds selfish but idc. No one would live in my skin.

 

[Flume]

No, fuck them let them burn in hell.

 

[forever21]

I wouldn't go back. See, my family believes that they care for me. And I believe they will be genuinely sad when I ctb. But they never treated me well. I was abused by my parents and they still don't understand that I am still hurt and struggle as a result of my childhood.
They don't believe in psychology and psychiatry, don't understand why I would have depression and anxiety. It's not like they don't know. They didn't believe me that I struggled with my life when I was alive, even though I told them. What would it change after my death? I don't think they would admit that there actions were wrong and would try to change.