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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
Or do you refuse to take medication, and instead live (suffer?) life with the symptoms?

If so, what are your symptoms?

Did you begin taking medication, then stop? Or have you simply never taken medication for your diagnosis/illness?

Please elaborate on your reason/s for taking, or not taking medication.

Thanks.
 
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MyrSS

MyrSS

Waiting to meet death
Apr 24, 2021
32
I've been taking an ssri for the last 3 years. Without it, being in public would trigger a panic attack.

I still take it now, though it doesn't feel as effective as it once was and I'm already at the highest dose.
 
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highndry

highndry

Member
Jan 23, 2021
44
I've been taking various antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, tricyclics) for years without effect, though stopped taking them last year
 
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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
I've been taking various antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, tricyclics) for years without effect, though stopped taking them last year
Have you not experienced any weight gain?

I have, and that's the reason for me stopping all of the medication.

The tablets that I'm prescribed (mirtazapine, olanzapine & venlafaxine) are at the top of the charts when it comes to weight gain.
 
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highndry

highndry

Member
Jan 23, 2021
44
Have you not experienced any weight gain?

I have, and that's the reason for me stopping all of the medication.

The tablets that I'm prescribed (mirtazapine, olanzapine & venlafaxine) are at the top of the charts when it comes to weight gain.
Not noticeable, but then I'm a big guy anyway.

I actually started noticeably losing weight on Vortioxetine, which I found was the best one for me of all the ones I'd tried before, no side effects other than a bit of a dodgy stomach for a couple of weeks at the start either


I had tried mirtazapine a few years ago, they wanted to try me on an anti psychotic but once I explained that a) I wasn't psychotic and b) they were linked to weight gain, I was already overweight and it could actually make things worse they dropped the idea... go figure, I'd have thought the first thing a lot of psychotic people would say is "I'm not psychotic" hahaha

I'm actually dieting rn in an attempt to make the SN more effective when I come to CTB
 
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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
Not noticeable, but then I'm a big guy anyway.

I actually started noticeably losing weight on Vortioxetine, which I found was the best one for me of all the ones I'd tried before, no side effects other than a bit of a dodgy stomach for a couple of weeks at the start either


I had tried mirtazapine a few years ago, they wanted to try me on an anti psychotic but once I explained that a) I wasn't psychotic and b) they were linked to weight gain, I was already overweight and it could actually make things worse they dropped the idea... go figure, I'd have thought the first thing a lot of psychotic people would say is "I'm not psychotic" hahaha

I'm actually dieting rn in an attempt to make the SN more effective when I come to CTB
They've actually changed my venlafaxine to duloxetine, and olanzapine to aripiprazole.

These medications are meant to be far less likely to cause weight gain.

I was supposed to start the aripiprazole last week, and the duloxetine this week. However, because I've come off of all of my medication I haven't started them.

I am starting to feel quite unwell (more suicidal than usual, paranoid, unhappy, low mood) but I'm hoping that these symptoms will subside?
 
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MyrSS

MyrSS

Waiting to meet death
Apr 24, 2021
32
They've actually changed my venlafaxine to duloxetine, and olanzapine to aripiprazole.

These medications are meant to be far less likely to cause weight gain.

I was supposed to start the aripiprazole last week, and the duloxetine this week. However, because I've come off of all of my medication I haven't started them.

I am starting to feel quite unwell (more suicidal than usual, paranoid, unhappy, low mood) but I'm hoping that these symptoms will subside?
Eh depends. What made you get on meds in the first place?
 
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
Eh depends. What made you get on meds in the first place?
I have a comorbid diagnoses of EUPD/BPD & OCD.

My EUPD/BPD baseline is extreme suicidal ideation/attempts.

I've taken 22 overdoses in 24 months, and cut myself on several occasions. Also been in stand-offs with police whilst being on carpark rooftops, and have travelled to one of the tallest bridges in the UK to jump. These incidents invariably lead to sectioning.

A lot of the overdoses are for self harm. However, when I'm off of the medication, my intention tends to swerve towards actually wanting to end my life. My actions/attempts become much more severe.
 
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brokenwaves

brokenwaves

i need to cross a border that’s hard to define
Feb 19, 2021
118
was referred to a psych a few years ago and i was more than happy to try anything they would give because without meds i couldn't even do the basic things to function and was a suicide risk 24/7. i was on various SSRIs, then stopped seeing psychiatrists because they are absolute demons where I live so now I'm just prescribed medication from my regular doctor. i was also on an antipsychotic but my doc took me off it because he didn't want to higher the dose and he's overly cautious about this shit, which is quite frustrating at times. anyway i tried all possible SSRIs which tend to stop working for me after a while so now currently on an SNRI past while. I did gain weight when I started my antipsychotic and haven't dropped that weight whatsoever, I haven't tried really anyway because I hate working out lmao. but it's not an extreme weight gain so doesn't bother me too much, especially in my more mentally stable moments because i accept it as a side effect of me not being scary depressed and unstable 24/7. main downside of my medications i've taken were emotion numbness, i often feel completely indifferent to life and am unable to cry unless i'm in extreme distress (in contrast to before when i could cry at the slightest thing). its tough, life was shit before meds, life is shitty with meds, but at least with them i don't feel like i'm completely losing my mind
 
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MyrSS

MyrSS

Waiting to meet death
Apr 24, 2021
32
I have a comorbid diagnoses of EUPD/BPD & OCD.

My EUPD/BPD baseline is extreme suicidal ideation/attempts.

I've taken 22 overdoses in 24 months, and cut myself on several occasions. Also been in stand-offs with police whilst being on carpark rooftops, and have travelled to one of the tallest bridges in the UK to jump. These incidents invariably lead to sectioning.

A lot of the overdoses are for self harm. However, when I'm off of the medication, my intention tends to swerve towards actually wanting to end my life. My actions/attempts become much more severe.
And what were your primary reasons for stopping the medication?
 
Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
was referred to a psych a few years ago and i was more than happy to try anything they would give because without meds i couldn't even do the basic things to function and was a suicide risk 24/7. i was on various SSRIs, then stopped seeing psychiatrists because they are absolute demons where I live so now I'm just prescribed medication from my regular doctor. i was also on an antipsychotic but my doc took me off it because he didn't want to higher the dose and he's overly cautious about this shit, which is quite frustrating at times. anyway i tried all possible SSRIs which tend to stop working for me after a while so now currently on an SNRI past while. I did gain weight when I started my antipsychotic and haven't dropped that weight whatsoever, I haven't tried really anyway because I hate working out lmao. but it's not an extreme weight gain so doesn't bother me too much, especially in my more mentally stable moments because i accept it as a side effect of me not being scary depressed and unstable 24/7. main downside of my medications i've taken were emotion numbness, i often feel completely indifferent to life and am unable to cry unless i'm in extreme distress (in contrast to before when i could cry at the slightest thing). its tough, life was shit before meds, life is shitty with meds, but at least with them i don't feel like i'm completely losing my mind
Everything you say, apart from your doctor not wanting to put you on antipsychotics, resonates with me.

I'm already starting to get that dark feeling of being unable to cope. Of feeling like the whole world is on my shoulder, and seeing suicide as the only way out.

In the past, when I've stopped taking the medication, I have tended to cave in after a short while because the symptoms become unbearable. This leads to me restarting the medication.

However, I'm determined to succeed this time.
 
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highndry

highndry

Member
Jan 23, 2021
44
I have a comorbid diagnoses of EUPD/BPD & OCD.

My EUPD/BPD baseline is extreme suicidal ideation/attempts.

I've taken 22 overdoses in 24 months, and cut myself on several occasions. Also been in stand-offs with police whilst being on carpark rooftops, and have travelled to one of the tallest bridges in the UK to jump. These incidents invariably lead to sectioning.

A lot of the overdoses are for self harm. However, when I'm off of the medication, my intention tends to swerve towards actually wanting to end my life. My actions/attempts become much more severe.

I know exactly how you feel - it got to the point where my GP wouldn't prescribe me more than a week's worth of meds bc they were worried about OD attempts.
In the past my OD attempts have always been opiates/speedball and all serious enough to land me in ICU.

Despite all that, it seems strange to me that there's no (apparent) crossover between coming off one set of meds and starting the others though, given the fact that stopping abruptly can cause serious suicidal ideation/attempts, as well as the risk of these being increased during the first few weeks of taking medication
 
JustAMatterOfTime

JustAMatterOfTime

Fragile
Mar 21, 2021
905
Anti psychotic
Anti anxiety
Anti depressant
Anti convulsive
 
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Thisgirlwantstosleep

Thisgirlwantstosleep

A pointless life had in a pointless world
Mar 11, 2019
130
Haven't been on anything that works.

I have OCD, Body Dysmorphia, Severe anxiety, Depression and BPD/CPTSD.

I've been on fluoxetine and Sertraline but my anxiety and mood instability is still killer when I'm on them.

I think it's most likely the dose not being high enough but the last time I tried Sertraline it gave me terrible insomnia for the first few days, like I couldn't sleep at all. It was awful.

TMI but SSRIs also give me genital numbness and masturbation is the only time I feel joy in life so not for me at all.

I was taking mirtazapine but I stopped cold turkey because I ran out a few days ago and I'm agoraphobic and only go out once or twice every few weeks.

The only thing it helped with was my sleep but it made me feel sluggish.

I was going to ask my doctor to put me on citalopram but it seems pointless because I genuinely don't want to be here anymore and want to save up for N. I was thinking about SN but I don't want to risk pain or unpleasantness.

I've too made numerous attempts and been in way too many police cars for someone that's not a criminal. I genuinely want to die it's just that I simply don't have an effective method that's also not extremely painful.
 
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MyrSS

MyrSS

Waiting to meet death
Apr 24, 2021
32
Weight gain is the primary reason.
I see. Probably is in best interest to restart meds then idk. Ik I wouldn't be able to function without mine.

When I got partially hospitalized we had a group session talking about medication.

And I remember there was one talking point where they talked about prescribing a supplementary medication to counteract the weight gain side-effect.

Maybe thats something you can bring up with psychiatrist if you still haven't given up on meds completely.
 
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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
I know exactly how you feel - it got to the point where my GP wouldn't prescribe me more than a week's worth of meds bc they were worried about OD attempts.
In the past my OD attempts have always been opiates/speedball and all serious enough to land me in ICU.

Despite all that, it seems strange to me that there's no (apparent) crossover between coming off one set of meds and starting the others though, given the fact that stopping abruptly can cause serious suicidal ideation/attempts, as well as the risk of these being increased during the first few weeks of taking medication
How freaky! My medication is also strictly monitored and is also only dispensed on a weekly basis.

This is because I tend to stockpile, for the purpose of overdosing.

With regards to abruptly coming off of medication causing serious suicidal ideation/attempts, I agree with you. However, what my GP intended to do was to start me on the new medication, whilst tapering me off of my existing medication at the same time. It's also why his intention was/is to switch the two medications on two separate weeks, the reason being if you start taking two new medications at the same time, and you experience side effects, you won't know which of the medications caused it.

I know I'm doing it the hard way (just abruptly coming off of everything at once) but I've become so sick of the weight gain. And I am already beginning to eat less, desire food less, and I am beginning to look less bloated/fat. And it's only been a week and a half. However, on the flip side, the withdrawal effects/symptoms are really beginning to ramp up. I'm starting to fantasise about some pretty violent/deadly ways of ending my life. Really extravagant.
I see. Probably is in best interest to restart meds then idk. Ik I wouldn't be able to function without mine.

When I got partially hospitalized we had a group session talking about medication.

And I remember there was one talking point where they talked about prescribing a supplementary medication to counteract the weight gain side-effect.

Maybe thats something you can bring up with psychiatrist if you still haven't given up on meds completely.
Thanks for the advice.

I was prescribed one table to promote weight loss, but all it does is to prevent your body from absorbing as much fat when you eat. You're meant to take a tablet before each meal.

However, the side effect of this medication is too messy ... you get the squirts (diarrhea) so I stopped using it.
 
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RedHarlequin

RedHarlequin

Mage
Jul 8, 2018
530
I'm taking a MAO inhibitor. Despite that I get drunk every day. I also take a lot of benzos. I used to avoid them, but now knowing I won't be here for long anymore, what's the point.
On top of that a lot of quetiapine so I can just sleep the day away.
 
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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
I'm taking a MAO inhibitor. Despite that I get drunk every day. I also take a lot of benzos. I used to avoid them, but now knowing I won't be here for long anymore, what's the point.
On top of that a lot of quetiapine so I can just sleep the day away.
One plus with the medications is that they definitely help with sleep.

I'm also prescribed zopiclone and diazepam, but I hardly ever take them as I stockpile them for overdosing.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Did you begin taking medication, then stop? Or have you simply never taken medication for your diagnosis/illness?

I have really lots of trouble to be constant at ANYTHING.

Meds are one of those things.

At first, I started taking my meds as scheduled but then I was a mess. Some days I took them, some I didn't. Some days I had some small ODs, some others I didn't.

That, only made me be in a worse situation than before so, this year, I finally understood that some meds might really help me if I took them the way I was supposed to.

I have a cool psych now who has changed all of my meds and is giving me some stuff to be in the UPS side of my bipolar disorder as long as possible.

I take them everyday the way I'm supposed to except for Saturdays. I love drinking on Sats so, no meds for me. I really need a break and escape from this goddamn reality at least one day!
 
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Skathon

Skathon

"...scarred underneath, and I'm falling..."
Oct 29, 2018
592
My disease is the core aspect of my personality. The only medical cure or treatment would be euthanasia.
 
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T

Thelonius

Member
May 19, 2020
11
I'm borderline personality, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. I take Seroquel and Lithium.

I take Seroquel because it dulls my mind, helps me to sleep, and is an anti-emetic used for sodium nitrite ctb (that you have to take for 30 days).

I take Lithium because my bipolar swings combined with BPD are impressive emotional displays that I end up regretting. Lithium keeps this form somewhat restrained. Hell, most of my suicidal plunges are regret at how I acted.

I used to take SSRIs but they didn't help, and apparently SSRIs make bipolar worse in some cases. ("Major depressive disorder, medication resistant.")
 
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J

JustLosingMyself

Mage
Sep 4, 2018
544
Quack wanted to prescribe epilim chrono.
I stated that the following side effects were not acceptable:
- weight gain
- cognitive impairment
- (physical) dependency
- drowsiness.
1 for vanity, I desperately try to keep the weight off, the others for professional reasons; I need to think straight.

Quack replied that there was nothing I'd find acceptable...
And that was that
 
FreeAngel

FreeAngel

Student
Mar 3, 2021
111
Soon I'm supposed to take antidepressants and I hope they help me.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,732
Previously diagnosed with GAD and MDD. I have taken multiple psychiatric medications to manage them and occasional insomnia. The longest record I have with any of them was with Bupropion/Wellbutrin. The best that could be said for it was that it suppressed my appetite and increased my sex drive. If it didn't lower the seizure threshold and therefore interfere with my alcoholism, I'd probably still take it for the "skinny, sexy" side effects alone.

The only med I take rarely now is Quetiapine/Seroquel at the lowest possible dose for sleep.

I'm not seeing a psychiatrist, and I don't see much point in obtaining more of what amount mostly to sugar pills. I do plan on faking ADHD as best I can to score amphetamines. We'll see if I am successful.
 
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LenkaX

LenkaX

Maybe there is a hope!
Aug 14, 2020
366
Psychiatrists forced me to take their shit pills. Now I'm the last 15 years like a living zombie. If I stopped taking the drugs, I would have severe insomnia and that's very unpleasant for me. Therefore I'm going to CTB very soon because I don't want to "live" like a zombie.
 
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sleepisanescape

sleepisanescape

Member
Dec 30, 2020
19
been on prozac, zoloft, wellbutrin, prazosin (for ptsd nightmares), effexor... none were able to give me any relief for crippling anxiety, agoraphobia, chronic depression and suicidal feelings. to make matters worse, therapists and psychiatrists seem to completely ignore and treat you like an idiot when you try to advocate for yourself. they always believe they know your body and symptoms more than you as they rotate through prescriptions like you're a guinea pig, and in the end medicating feels like putting a bandaid over a gaping wound. i'm not on anything currently.
 
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untimelydemise

untimelydemise

Member
Jan 20, 2021
62
been on prozac, sertratline, citalopram,duloxetinez rispiridone, aripiprazole, olanzapine, quetiapine, propanolol, melaronim, lorazepam.
now on vortioxetine, clonazapeam and promethazinexxx
have aurism anxiety and eupd/ bpd
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
Tried every antidepressant known to man, none of them did anything for me. Now I'm just addicted to Xanax
 
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B

Beeper

Experienced
Sep 28, 2021
227
I've tried quite a few medications for treating Bipolar Disorder.

Generally speaking, the combos usually involve a "mood stabilizer" in conjunction with antidepressants and / or antipsychotics.

I have been disappointed with lithium, depakote and lamotrigine due to side effects. These are generally considered to be mood stabilizers, although two of these were originally developed to treat epilepsy.

Antipsychotics are only useful for me to treat an acute manic episode. Taking them during periods of euthymia tend to cause severe depression and anhedonia.

Since I am not taking a mood stabilizer, my current doctor has been trying the atypical antipsychotics Quetiapine and Olanzapine as mood stabilizers. I spent all summer trying various levels of these two drugs. The end result was severe depression, anhedonia and me finding Sanctioned Suicde.

I've recently quit taking those antipsychotics and feel much better. With any luck I can keep my mood in check and maybe avoid CTB.
 
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