If you fail a suicide attempt everyone hates you but if you succeed everyone loves you. The hypocrisy is astounding

[FireFox]

When a person fails at a suicide attempt they are met are with anger, abuse, social exclusion and disapproval by their families and loved ones. The person who failed the suicide attempt will have to live with the guilt of seeing their loved ones upset over their attempts and being hated by their loved ones.

The minute the person successfully commits suicide everyone in thier families and community feels bad for thier death, guilty over the way they treated that person when they were alive. The same families who saw thar suicidal person as an inconvenience to their normal lives they now begins to appreciate the person entirely because they are never coming back.
The hypocrisy of humans is astounding

 

[carac]

I must be the exception because my family wasn't too bad, they didnt really seem to care all that much but did show a little bit of support. I know exactly what you mean though, people don't know what they've got untill its gone.

 

[Suicidal Ideation]

I feel this. After a failed attempt everyone just looks at you like you're some creature and the disappointment in their eyes speak for themselves.

 

[StolenLife]

Yep. The same goes with telling anyone that you are depressed or suicidal. When you're alive they brush you off or straight up decide not to mesh with you, and yet when you die they are all like "Everybody loved them why didn't they speak up?"

 

[hellispink]

Humans are so fake and hypocritical. That's why I cannot afford to fail. If i could avoid them even seeing my corpse after being gone i would do it. I hate my family and people in general. I just wanna leave like i never existed no fake statements from anyone

 

[FireFox]

Yep. The same goes with telling anyone that you are depressed or suicidal. When you're alive they brush you off or straight up decide not to mesh with you, and yet when you die they are all like "Everybody loved them why didn't they speak up?"

@StolenLife When I was 21 I was studying at university my friends in my law class avoided me after I told them I was suicidal.

One of my friends who I met in my first year of university I always helped her and looked out for her whenever she was having problems. I was really close with her because our backgrounds were similar. This friend was a devout traditional Christian . When I told her orginally I had depression and was suicidal she told me to go to church, how my depression is my fault for being feminist and how a woman's purpose in life is to be a wife and mother. Eventually she began to avoid me at university. One time I noticed she was with other people we normally hang out with and when she saw me she was whispering to them and runaway from me. It was so obvious.

Another friend stopped talking to me altogether. That is the last time I am ever being honest about being suicidal never again.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They want to have their cake and shove it in their motherfucking mouths at the same time.

 

[FireFox]

Humans are so fake and hypocritical. That's why I cannot afford to fail. If i could avoid them even seeing my corpse after being gone i would do it. I hate my family and people in general. I just wanna leave like i never existed no fake statements from anyone

@hellispink I hate my relatives so much if my mother and grandmother knew the truth how much I hate the relatives it would absolutely kill them. It is so exhausting pretending all the time to be happy to see these relatives. The relatives have no idea how much I actaully hate them so much.

The relatives whenever I vist my parents home country they act all excited to see me these same people who NEVER cared nor helped when my mother when she struggling as a mother when she had when she had me. All knew she was struggling but NONE of them cared nor gave shit about me. We have a large family tree of relatives life would been easier if these people helped my mother. We have of wealthy relatives too.

I consider it abandonment and for that reason I will always hate these people. My relatives are the reason why growing I never felt like I belonged nor feel wanted.

They want to have their cake and shove it in their motherfucking mouths at the same time.

@LaVieEnRose It should not take someone dying and no longer being present for people and communities to finally start seeing value in that individual. People should be appreciated alwsys in life and shown they do matter and belong.

This attitude of nobody cares until you die is just so not fair and is absolutely disgusting.

I must be the exception because my family wasn't too bad, they didnt really seem to care all that much but did show a little bit of support. I know exactly what you mean though, people don't know what they've got untill its gone.

@carac I have never actually attempted suicide. I have been suicidal since 21 years old and now I am 26. I have fought so hard to improve my life and all I ever wanted was to be happy, doing something meaningful with life and in a relationship with a man who loves me.

The only thing stopping me from attempting suicide is it going wrong and being hospitalised. If we were to get hospitalised my family will not react well and its going to be a nightmare. My own family lost thier shit when they found my diet pills it was nightmare. They will not cope with me attempting suicide. I have only one chance to get it right.

 

[mirzani]

Yep. The same goes with telling anyone that you are depressed or suicidal. When you're alive they brush you off or straight up decide not to mesh with you, and yet when you die they are all like "Everybody loved them why didn't they speak up?"

Hahaha.. that's so true. People just want you to not disturb them yet they don't want to admit it how evil they are.

 

[Sichi]

More often than not, this is true. I had a failed attempt but I wasn't hospitalized since my body recovered rather quickly. I had and managed to cover the attempt as just very bad food poisoning.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

Its because most people don't actually care once you are gone. They "feel bad for your death, guilty over the way they treated that person when they were alive" because it's the appropriate thing to say. They would sound rude if they didn't care.

If they actually cared, they would have treated you differently before your death, and not after it.

Them feeling bad, is just their way of justifying their previous actions.

It amazes me how many people will use other's suicide to get attention for themselves.

 

[platypusfan]

Sometimes I think humans only act like they care just for show. Even those who were once close to me would have saw my suicide as a method for personal gain if it worked.. I remember the first time I talked about my attempt it was met with complete disregard. My one friend at the time forgot about it the next day.. my mom was more worried that she would get in trouble for it that she didn't even check if I had any injuries.. it was this that made my hope for humanity plummet. If these people were depressed I would do everything in my power to help so I was in shock at their reaction towards me. I still think about this reaction everyday. It's this that made me swear to never impulsively commit and fail again.

 

[90starve]

this really resonated with me. it's disgusting how we are treated during life, compared to the compassion and heartbreak we receive during death. IMO it's too risky to let others know that you're even slightly suicidal. i will never be opening up to my peers again, and i feel no need to after having found this community <3

 

[SmoolPepe]

Because they cant just have their fun slip away like that. People want to bully/abuse/mess with others but also at the same time lie to them in their face about how its actually with the victim`s best interest in mind and also being vehemently against suicide which perfectly aligns with that.
Its not enough for shit people (most people) to bully others, they have to prevent the ones receiving that abuse from suiciding (aka escape/find peace) while also boasting about how good hearted they are. It truly is double the fun for them I suppose.
Humans and existence, truly the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[Orbitc]

@hellispink I hate my relatives so much if my mother and grandmother knew the truth how much I hate the relatives it would absolutely kill them. It is so exhausting pretending all the time to be happy to see these relatives. The relatives have no idea how much I actaully hate them so much.

The relatives whenever I vist my parents home country they act all excited to see me these same people who NEVER cared nor helped when my mother when she struggling as a mother when she had when she had me. All knew she was struggling but NONE of them cared nor gave shit about me. We have a large family tree of relatives life would been easier if these people helped my mother. We have of wealthy relatives too.

I consider it abandonment and for that reason I will always hate these people. My relatives are the reason why growing I never felt like I belonged nor feel wanted.

@LaVieEnRose It should not take someone dying and no longer being present for people and communities to finally start seeing value in that individual. People should be appreciated alwsys in life and shown they do matter and belong.

This attitude of nobody cares until you die is just so not fair and is absolutely disgusting.

@carac I have never actually attempted suicide. I have been suicidal since 21 years old and now I am 26. I have fought so hard to improve my life and all I ever wanted was to be happy, doing something meaningful with life and in a relationship with a man who loves me.

The only thing stopping me from attempting suicide is it going wrong and being hospitalised. If we were to get hospitalised my family will not react well and its going to be a nightmare. My own family lost thier shit when they found my diet pills it was nightmare. They will not cope with me attempting suicide. I have only one chance to get it right.

I told my relatives that I hate them and never talked to them again - honesty makes it so easy - you should learn to be more frank and direct despite the consequences.

 

[brokeandbroken]

There's some truth to this unfortunately.
I have been to the psych ward 3x in the past year for suicidal ideation. Never attempted but as close as you can come. And they have just consistently pulled away. I rarely talk to them, no support whatsoever.

Yet if I had succeeded. I do wonder if they would have the reaction you are describing.

Also it should be noted. I was found with ropes in my backpack by a police officer after threatening to CTB. Brought to the hospital and psych ward involuntarily. In all my stays in the hospital (different ones) the one where I was closest to killing myself was the one I was treated the worst. I felt like a common criminal not someone that was depressed. Didn't even make an attempt to make it better or show any empathy. Kind of disgusting honestly. Walked out of there worse then when I entered.

 

[SlenderM]

When a person fails at a suicide attempt they are met are with anger, abuse, social exclusion and disapproval by their families and loved ones. The person who failed the suicide attempt will have to live with the guilt of seeing their loved ones upset over their attempts and being hated by their loved ones.

The minute the person successfully commits suicide everyone in thier families and community feels bad for thier death, guilty over the way they treated that person when they were alive. The same families who saw thar suicidal person as an inconvenience to their normal lives they now begins to appreciate the person entirely because they are never coming back.
The hypocrisy of humans is astounding

I think it comes down to human appreciation. We don't know how to appreciate anything unless we lose said thing or find out to appreciate the hard way. Sadly these views are human nature but thankfully not everyone is like this. Still so many are and that's a bit sad, tho not blaming anyone who is / struggles with unappreciation.

- S :)

 

[FireFox]

More often than not, this is true. I had a failed attempt but I wasn't hospitalized since my body recovered rather quickly. I had and managed to cover the attempt as just very bad food poisoning.

@Sichi This shows how cruel mental illness truly is. Your mind torments you to the point of death but your body fights for you to live.

What method did you even use for your body to recover quickly?

 

[ToTheTwillight]

In all fairness thou, while what you say is true about people feelings of those who failed suicide or succeeded at suicide. But in addition that is not mentioned, the feelings of people for those who succeeded at suicide is also anger at the one deceased, it makes them wish you would've talked to them or give them an opportunity to say something back about it. But imo it's all bullshit, the responses you get are just the obvious and predictable once: 'we are here to support you, go get help, you will get better...', they just want to feel like they would've had the chance to be heroes who gloat about saving you while you rot in pain at a psyche ward, and you didn't give them that chance

But it's like most people mentioned here, that humans are hypocrites and it's only when you actually pass away, that they appreciate to the full extent of you being gone.

 

[FireFox]

I told my relatives that I hate them and never talked to them again - honesty makes it so easy - you should learn to be more frank and direct despite the consequences.

@Orbitc I am from African culture that is NOT an option. African family culture is very collectivist in which family households are very interfering in the business of other family members. What career you have and who you marry is a massive deal to the entire family. In African culture you are not allowed under any circumstances to insult the relatives particularly the elders to do risks being tainted and your entire household too.

Growing up from an early age I was always told to be a good girl because if I do anything bad it will look bad on the entire family. My grandmother and mother deeply value the approval of the relatives because of this they put pressure on me to be perfect and I am not allowed to have mistakes while all the males in the family are allowed do all the bullshit, have mistakes and get respect.

If I had financial freedom and independence believe me I would have cut off my entire relatives years ago. I loved the pandemic because it meant not having to see these people anymore.

White westerners in the UK where I live do not understand how hard it is to break free from family members if you are born in African culture where family and reputation is a big deal. God forgive me for saying this but I will be glad when my mother and grandmother die because it means no longer having a reason to deal with these relatives anymore and I finally be free.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

My family looks at me differently now because they know I'm suicidal and have tried. My uncle killed himself so they look at me like I'm the same type of fucked up.

Honestly I wish I was successful so I didn't have to deal with the constant check ins now, and I can feel how they look at me. If they really wanted to help me they'd help me end it, but that isn't something most people are comfortable doing.

 

[FireFox]

There's some truth to this unfortunately.
I have been to the psych ward 3x in the past year for suicidal ideation. Never attempted but as close as you can come. And they have just consistently pulled away. I rarely talk to them, no support whatsoever.

Yet if I had succeeded. I do wonder if they would have the reaction you are describing.

Also it should be noted. I was found with ropes in my backpack by a police officer after threatening to CTB. Brought to the hospital and psych ward involuntarily. In all my stays in the hospital (different ones) the one where I was closest to killing myself was the one I was treated the worst. I felt like a common criminal not someone that was depressed. Didn't even make an attempt to make it better or show any empathy. Kind of disgusting honestly. Walked out of there worse then when I entered.

@brokeandbroken NEVER threaten to kill yourself no matter how low you are in front of people because all it does get authorities involved. The minute you express suicidal thoughts or threaten suicide that person has a duty of care to report them. I have been extremely suicidal again after February and I have kept everything to myself. My family member even had suspicions about me being suicidal due to them finding my large stash of laxatives and diet pills. I denied everything and it worked.

I don't understand why people go into healthcare but lack basic compassion for their fellow human beings suffering. Virtual hug and sorry you went through all that.

Love

FireFox :)

 

[brokeandbroken]

@brokeandbroken NEVER threaten to kill yourself no matter how low you are in front of people because all it does get authorities involved. The minute you express suicidal thoughts or threaten suicide that person has a duty of care to report them. I have been extremely suicidal again after February and I have kept everything to myself. My family member even had suspicions about me being suicidal due to them finding my large stash of laxatives and diet pills. I denied everything and it worked.

I don't understand why people go into healthcare but lack basic compassion for their fellow human beings suffering. Virtual hug and sorry you went through all that.

Love

FireFox :)

Yes it was a lapse in judgment. Never again will I tell a single soul that I know if am feeling suicidal, going to commit suicide, whatever. You don't even really get help just treated like a criminal honestly. It's appalling honestly.

 

[FireFox]

My family looks at me differently now because they know I'm suicidal and have tried. My uncle killed himself so they look at me like I'm the same type of fucked up.

Honestly I wish I was successful so I didn't have to deal with the constant check ins now, and I can feel how they look at me. If they really wanted to help me they'd help me end it, but that isn't something most people are comfortable doing.

@Wildfire4984 Virtual hug I know what you mean. I am anoxeric and since my family members found my diet pills and laxatives they look at me werid too. They are so used seeing and judging the anoxeric celebrities and people on the tv they didn't think that this problem would ever come to their household and on their doorstep.

I know I have one chance to get my suicide attempt to be successful that is why I am killing myself at 30. I am 26 and I am tired of living. Life is not for me and I don't belong here in this world.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

You are damn freaking right

 

[FireFox]

this really resonated with me. it's disgusting how we are treated during life, compared to the compassion and heartbreak we receive during death. IMO it's too risky to let others know that you're even slightly suicidal. i will never be opening up to my peers again, and i feel no need to after having found this community <3

@90starve I can relete so much. When I was 21 I was studying at university my friends in my law class avoided me and pretty much stopped talking to me after I told them I was suicidal. I was always looked out for these friends and genuinely cared for them but they abandoned me in my hour of need without a care in the world. These same friends are devout Christians who go pray everyday and go to chruch every week.

I eventually discovered this community and people here are so lovely and non judgemental. All my suicidal thoughts and feelings only this community will now know.

NEVER again am I reaching out to anyone. Virtual hug Love FireFox

Because they cant just have their fun slip away like that. People want to bully/abuse/mess with others but also at the same time lie to them in their face about how its actually with the victim`s best interest in mind and also being vehemently against suicide which perfectly aligns with that.
Its not enough for shit people (most people) to bully others, they have to prevent the ones receiving that abuse from suiciding (aka escape/find peace) while also boasting about how good hearted they are. It truly is double the fun for them I suppose.
Humans and existence, truly the gift that keeps on giving.

@SmoolPepe Interesting point. People complain about socal media making society bad but the truth is social media actually exposes how fake and hypocritical people are in our world. I see social media as a mirror exposing society and all its ugliness.

I have been online support communities and spaces for people to talk about their mental health. I have encountered people who preach about caring for mental health, opening up about their own struggles with mental health and depression. These people are actually the biggest pieces of shit. I have encountered people who presch about mental health and actually most horrible and biggest pieces of shit. It is actually disturbing.

 

[(¥)]

When a person fails at a suicide attempt they are met are with anger, abuse, social exclusion and disapproval by their families and loved ones. The person who failed the suicide attempt will have to live with the guilt of seeing their loved ones upset over their attempts and being hated by their loved ones.

The minute the person successfully commits suicide everyone in thier families and community feels bad for thier death, guilty over the way they treated that person when they were alive. The same families who saw thar suicidal person as an inconvenience to their normal lives they now begins to appreciate the person entirely because they are never coming back.
The hypocrisy of humans is astounding

no care wjhen ctb. perople eill be relief to see me ctb....they are righgt in their hope forme ti disappear.....

 

[90starve]

@90starve I can relete so much. When I was 21 I was studying at university my friends in my law class avoided me and pretty much stopped talking to me after I told them I was suicidal. I was always looked out for these friends and genuinely cared for them but they abandoned me in my hour of need without a care in the world. These same friends are devout Christians who go pray everyday and go to chruch every week.

I eventually discovered this community and people here are so lovely and non judgemental. All my suicidal thoughts and feelings only this community will now know.

NEVER again am I reaching out to anyone. Virtual hug Love FireFox

i can't stand the hypocrisy, it's everywhere you turn! im sorry that those friends turned out to be so unsupportive. this is exactly how each experience with opening up ended for me, so i can definitely sympathise. it's just not worth it. but here, there are so many people who do genuinely care AND genuinely understand. im not sure where i'd be right now without this forum. sending you a big hug back <3

 

[saddestbunny]

absolutely, I've always been somewhat open about my depression and issues and most people just avoid you like the plague

 

[FireFox]

absolutely, I've always been somewhat open about my depression and issues and most people just avoid you like the plague

@saddestbunny I have been in the past been open about my anxieties and depression over the future and failings in life with my family and people around me

All I my family and people around me did was treat me like an inconvenience and dismiss everything I feel. Everyone wants to impose thier own morality, views, make the situation about them fucking selves but nobody wants to listen nor connect nor be compassionate nor see me as a human being in pain.

Here the following comments I have received from family and people in my life

● " Your smart and clever you are own worst enemy".
● " everything happens for a reason"
● "get over it"
● " You see when you are upset think of the family and how they feel"
●" worried about the future the only person who should be worried about the future is homeless man"
● " What have you got to be upset about you have food, a bed, roof, a British passport. I am providing for you"- My own mother
Nobody card enough