Discussion If you could choose anything, what would it be?

[Cutepoison]

So, it's Christmas time and I'm spending it alone. My own choice.
But it got me thinking, if you could choose anything, what would it be? Would you still choose CTB? Or would you choose to erase your memories from a certain point in your life?

Personally, for me, I wish I could go back in time to 19 April this year. I would have done things very differently. But because I hesitated, things escalated, and long story short I was in a mental hospital for one month. It was horrible. And ever since then, I've been on a crazy amount of pills yet I still can't get enough sleep. I'm also very depressed and constantly think about dying. I've tried doing something about it but kinda chickened out, and not because I'm not sure that I want to CTB but more because I'm afraid to be discovered and end up in the hospital again, or stay brain damaged or like a vegetable...

Blah. Life sucks. I fucking wish I never got to thay hospital because that's what ruined it for me, and I just know there's nothing left to do but die; I just need a good method.

 

[thepolarbear]

N, baby!

 

[not.happy201]

I just want this ear ringing to stop. Nothing else. Take my money, take my house and memory, take my job and family, but give me silence back.

 

[Emily123]

it is impossible . But borning again with my true gender is my choice

 

[Cutepoison]

N, baby!

At this point me too. Unless time travel was possible, i don't see any other solution :/

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I just want this ear ringing to stop. Nothing else. Take my money, take my house and memory, take my job and family, but give me silence back.

That must be really horrible thing
I would choose to go back and correct my past mistakes that lead me to that ruin of a life.

 

[Flume]

I want a billion dollars so I never ever have to fucking worry about money again.

 

[Farmmaa]

I want a billion dollars so I never ever have to fucking worry about money again.

I'd be more than happy with a million. Hell, even $100,000 would be more than enough to dig myself out of this hole and be able to enjoy life again.
I can live with the health problems, I can get help with the grief and depression... but I'm in complete financial ruin and there's no way out.

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

Just to go to bed and never wake up.

 

[die2live]

Go back and undo my stupid actions

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Going back to 2012 and erasing my mistakes.

 

[a_strange_day]

Be born again but without all my mental and physical problems. I honestly would have enjoyed life if not for it. Sometimes I wonder if it is because of my physical problems that my mental state worsened or the exact opposite.

 

[mediocre]

I'd choose not to have to experience physical pain.

 

[Adieu]

Be Born again, other chance to be the real me. Not this ruined person I have become

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I would definitely choose to go back to a certain point in time and hopefully correct the mistakes that lead me here. It wouldn't fix my physical problems but it would solve the mental ones...or just erase my memory entirely.
Also enough money to help my ruined financial situation.

 

[Leavinglalaland]

To feel calm again

 

[6ixxy]

I'd be more than happy with a million. Hell, even $100,000 would be more than enough to dig myself out of this hole and be able to enjoy life again.
I can live with the health problems, I can get help with the grief and depression... but I'm in complete financial ruin and there's no way out.

I feel you so strongly on this. Kinda sad that a bunch of paper & numbers has the potential to completely devastate lives

 

[Farmmaa]

I feel you so strongly on this. Kinda sad that a bunch of paper & numbers has the potential to completely devastate lives

It really is.
I have health problems and I've got depression, I'm having hard time dealing with the loss of my brother, I miss my kids every day … but... I do not hate life at all. I love my job.. I get to grow flowers every day and make beautiful arrangements with them. I'm hard working and talented. I stop and breathe in the beauty of this amazing place I live every single day.
But, because of money... I live in constant stress 24/7. Because of money I will end up losing the place I rent, along with all of the gardens I've spent years building and planting.
It's stress and anxiety that most people really cannot comprehend.

 

[6ixxy]

It really is.
I have health problems and I've got depression, I'm having hard time dealing with the loss of my brother, I miss my kids every day … but... I do not hate life at all. I love my job.. I get to grow flowers every day and make beautiful arrangements with them. I'm hard working and talented. I stop and breathe in the beauty of this amazing place I live every single day.
But, because of money... I live in constant stress 24/7. Because of money I will end up losing the place I rent, along with all of the gardens I've spent years building and planting.
It's stress and anxiety that most people really cannot comprehend.

I feel like I'm in the same situation completely, minus the kids. I can only imagine that adds even more stress. But money...not a single person I know is comfortably living with their financial situation, I feel like having anxiety & depression amplifies the stress of money even more so than in people without mental illness. I'd genuinely be happy with like £2000, at least it would be a start.

 

[Hel]

To be with the person I love. My pain for can't get it is my reason to ctb so it's obvious

 

[RealLostSoul]

That finally my life will go a little bit better at least

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

So, it's Christmas time and I'm spending it alone. My own choice.
But it got me thinking, if you could choose anything, what would it be? Would you still choose CTB? Or would you choose to erase your memories from a certain point in your life?

Personally, for me, I wish I could go back in time to 19 April this year. I would have done things very differently. But because I hesitated, things escalated, and long story short I was in a mental hospital for one month. It was horrible. And ever since then, I've been on a crazy amount of pills yet I still can't get enough sleep. I'm also very depressed and constantly think about dying. I've tried doing something about it but kinda chickened out, and not because I'm not sure that I want to CTB but more because I'm afraid to be discovered and end up in the hospital again, or stay brain damaged or like a vegetable...

Blah. Life sucks. I fucking wish I never got to thay hospital because that's what ruined it for me, and I just know there's nothing left to do but die; I just need a good method.

I just want one thing a quick painless Death very soon

 

[reto]

Nothing

 

[Cutepoison]

Nothing

Not even peaceful departure?

 

[R_N]

I would choose not to be born.

 

[Cutepoison]

I would choose not to be born.

Actually, me too. I wish I was never here in the first place.

 

[Squiddy]

I want to feel competent, not have brain fog and no mental illness

 

[potentialbotanist]

I'd go back before my mom died and get her the help she needed. My life wasn't perfect then and I waa still depressed but that started the spiral I'm in right now.

 

[astro]

Become mentally well again. As in free of any mental illness. I'd be great at life if that was the case.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'd probably choose to not be born and let someone else have a shot at life. Even if I went back to the start I'd probably still mess up it somewhere or somehow.