if/when you cbt, what would/will you do about your loved ones?

[ummagumma]

after i have discovered this site and learned about some suicide methods, that are not too barbaric and scary, i have one question left. i'm thinking about my friends, but mostly my parents. if i cbt, then of course my friends would be sad, but they at least have other friends. but my parents? im an only child, and they are already in their mid/late 50s, so they will not have another kid. and they love me very very much. of course i wold write a lovely note and mention that it wasnt their fault at all, but... no matter what i would write, they would be devastated, if something happens to me. so im not sure, what possibly could fix that

i was brainstorming. came up with an idea to birth a child for them to have instead of me. but it's cruel, because 1) i don't really want to "give the gift of life" (or rather sentence someone to suffer as i do. moreover, mental problems are inheritable, so...) 2) it's cruel to deprive a child of its mother

so... idk, haha. might have to wait for 10-20-30 years more and cbt after they die

how did you solve this question for yourself?

 

[Reuthry]

I just got used to the idea honestly. And I tell myself, if I die, everyone and everything dies. Why to worry about something that will be nothing eventually.

And like there is this possiblity where my mother and father could die after I ctb and my teenage brother will be left alone, and I guess he would end up killing himself. I don't think that it is certain though.

Let's say some tragedy or whatever happens, like a family fades away, who will know and care after 100 years passed? A lot of terrible things happen on earth, how many do we know out of them? There are billions of people, and in an hour, plenty of people ctb or just die for other reasons, babies are born. How many do you know out of them. My ctb won't be the end of the world, nor affect a lot of people. Everything ends eventually, it doesn't matter what happened or what you have done in the end, every single thing will be nothing. Absolutely nothing.

 

[voidstar]

From a pragmatic point of view: when your parents put you into this world they surely must've been aware that you may encounter struggles and hardship, maybe even circumstances so dire that you'd consider suicide. So I would hope that they'll understand at some point.
From my own experience: no idea. I have the same issue with my father, even tho we don't have the best relationship.

But I wouldn't consider putting a child into this world for the sole purpose to lessen your parents pain. That'd be highly unethical in my opinion. Same with people who try to fix their failed relationships with a child. It'll bring only more suffering.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Yes, but everyone has to live on their own terms in the end.

 

[Princess_Kitty]

I'm married, yet I'm still going to end up CTB. I kind of just got used to the idea. My hope for my partner is that they'll be able to continue living without me. It's my body my choice and I chose CTB. The love I have just isn't enough to outweight how much pain I'm in.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

The way I did it, is I wrote multiple suicide notes to explain my feelings as honestly as possible, and to let them know they shouldn't blame themselves. My only hope is that when I finally get past this survival instinct that keeps getting in the way, the people I love will find a way to accept it and move on. If they can't, then at least I won't be around to worry about them anymore.

It really has gotten to the point where my desire to die has caused me to care less and less over time. Some days I feel like they deserve to suffer the grief if they can't let me go, but that's a horrible way to think, and it isn't my motivation. I just don't want to participate in this stupid, money-obsessed society anymore. Years of wage slavery sucked the life out of me, and I can't do it anymore.

 

[sadslime]

Honestly i hope everyone who knows me feels awful (except my sister, she protected me a couple times but i think she would understand), they all contributed to the way my "life" is and they deserve the carry the guilt and shame of that for the rest of their own lives, though i doubt anyone will really be all that affected by my death tbh

 

[caninecomposer]

I'm in the unique position of having absolutely no family or friends who will even be made aware of my passing, much less be affected by it. I escaped traumatic abuse haven't been in contact with anyone since.

 

[depressedginger]

i dont think i would tell any of my loved ones anything. i think they'd understand i was in pain and decided for it to stop. i would leave a note for my husband. "i love you, always and forever" but i think that'd be it. i might leave a note for someone to tell my job that i did it so they didnt think i just quit or stopped showing up. i love everyone there. but i guess my family will have to just draw the conclusions themselves.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Personally, I want to wait for my Dad to go first but I know not everyone can hold on.

If I'm honest, your new baby idea makes me sad because I grew up without my Mum. She died of cancer when I was 3. Life is hard when you lose a parent that young. My Grandparents loved me a great deal and were wonderful surrogates but, you always feel like there's something missing in your life. I'm an adult now- I'm older than she was when she died but I still miss her terribly.

So- personally, I'd say, the replacement baby idea wouldn't be that fair on the child. What if your parents died shortly after you? Then- who will that child have? Children aren't or at least- shouldn't be emotional aids for adults! They are vulnerable individuals that will need every chance in life to develop half way normal and happy. Being minus a parent is already a bad start- from personal experience.

Your letter sounds like a good idea though. Sadly, there's not much any of is can really do to soften the blow but- I've appreciated letters people have left me- after natural death.