if Nembutal is available, would you take it now or later?

[ksp]

if Nembutal would be available right now, and for the rest of your life, nominal fee (5 USD, 5 Euro , etc), so no need to buy it this instant; and you could get it no questions asked (no judgement), and Nembutal can be replaced with the most peaceful method known to humanity

would you take it now, or later?

curious to see if people would be content with the fact is life is based on suffering, but would be open to unexpected pleasures, knowing that the exit would always be ready for them, dignified, absolutely peaceful, 100% guaranteed - to me this is true personal autonomy and self determination: extremely rational decision

(i'm imagining a future world where society is not judgmental, euthanasia is not stigmatized, and a Nembutal can purchased as easily as alcohol - you are the final judge of your life and your destiny)

 

[Forever Sleep]

Regardless of whether it was available or not- waiting on my Dad to go first. Don't know how long that will be.

After that, I have SN- although I'd definitely buy N if it were available. I very much doubt my plans to CTB will change- I can only envisage things getting worse till my Dad goes. Still- I suppose miracles can happen.

With regards to timing- I sort of hoped I would have enough money to say goodbye to a few places before I go. My affairs I've been getting in order the past few weeks- so I'm at least ready to go.

Going to sound ridiculous but quite a lot hinges on my Dad's funeral and if a step sibling will attend it. I will literally do ANYTHING not to see them again. So- I might need to aim to CTB within days of my Dad's passing... Perhaps I should visit those places now.

How about you? Would you depart now or later?

 

[ksp]

@Forever Sleep - thank you. i'd probably go within one year (i've been confronting my mortality for more than 15 years now, so i'm at peace)

regarding your situation (i'm sorry for your conflicts), i wanted to give you a more detailed answer, but to summarize it: i think your decision doesn't necessarily depend on his death, but his understanding of your suffering (his blessing, and your peace of mind provided by his empathy)

 

[Forever Sleep]

@Forever Sleep - thank you. i'd probably go within one year (i've been confronting my mortality for more than 15 years now, so i'm at peace)

regarding your situation (i'm sorry for your conflicts), i wanted to give you a more detailed answer, but to summarize it: i think your decision doesn't necessarily depend on his death, but his understanding of your suffering (his blessing, and your peace of mind provided by his empathy)

Thanks so much @ksp . Are you fulfilling any wishes in this year or is it more to get everything in order?

Yes, I expect you're right but he would never give his blessing for me to kill myself. (Unless I was in physical pain I expect- he's not heartless.) Seeing as that is the case and I don't think I have a (debhylitating) mental illness either, I simply don't want him to know JUST how unhappy I am. It wouldn't do any good if I couldn't act on it. It's not like he can help. He would just worry. Thank you for your input though. I think you're right- just that it isn't very achievable.

 

[TAW122]

I voted for one year because that allows me more than ample time for me to think things through and given the circumstances (no risk of being locked up, no judgment, no forced medication, no forced intervention, completely legal, etc.) like you mentioned, I am free to go on my own terms: my own time, location, and manner. Also, if I was able to express myself (truly freely, not the bullshit fake freedom that most pro-lifers epouse), then I would have no fear in doing so and make my decision.

Nobody, not even vehement pro-lifers can prevent me from doing so in such a situation. They would only disagree in a token gesture but could do little else while I just exercise my free will. Any interference from them would constitute as an illegal action and be subjected to legal action by the victim (me in this fictional scenario).

 

[ksp]

@Forever Sleep - i'm responding in your thread, but i'm very slow (my condition), and carefully; regarding this, my decision is made, just looking for a dignified and peaceful exit

@TAW122 - that's exactly what i'm looking for: your own decision, and no one else's (absolutely no pressure from society or family) - your introspection gives the pure answer, and not to me but to yourself

 

[FuneralCry]

If I had N I would exit as soon as possible, and it would be such an incredible relief. I don't wish to spend another second in this horrific world, I've been here long enough. It would be insane to prolong this any longer if there is such a peaceful and reliable method available, I see suffering as being something to be avoided at all costs so the most rational thing would be to take the N to prevent unnecessary torment. If I had N I would have nothing to worry about as to pass away peacefully would be the best and most wonderful thing ever for me.

 

[lionetta12]

if Nembutal would be available right now, and for the rest of your life, nominal fee (5 USD, 5 Euro , etc), so no need to buy it this instant; and you could get it no questions asked (no judgement), and Nembutal can be replaced with the most peaceful method known to humanity

would you take it now, or later?

curious to see if people would be content with the fact is life is based on suffering, but would be open to unexpected pleasures, knowing that the exit would always be ready for them, dignified, absolutely peaceful, 100% guaranteed - to me this is true personal autonomy and self determination: extremely rational decision

(i'm imagining a future world where society is not judgmental, euthanasia is not stigmatized, and a Nembutal can purchased as easily as alcohol - you are the final judge of your life and your destiny)

If I had N now, I'd take it instantly.

 

[bed]

I thought I was going to take it within a few months of having it but I'm still around a year+ later.

 

[rationaltake]

I thought I was going to take it within a few months of having it but I'm still around a year+ later.

I understand. None of us can actually know how we would act or what we would do until we're actually in that situation.

 

[ShuttingDown]

Would take it right fucking now, no good byes nothing, let my death be mystery to all

 

[TraurigerClown]

if Nembutal would be available right now, and for the rest of your life, nominal fee (5 USD, 5 Euro , etc), so no need to buy it this instant; and you could get it no questions asked (no judgement), and Nembutal can be replaced with the most peaceful method known to humanity

would you take it now, or later?

curious to see if people would be content with the fact is life is based on suffering, but would be open to unexpected pleasures, knowing that the exit would always be ready for them, dignified, absolutely peaceful, 100% guaranteed - to me this is true personal autonomy and self determination: extremely rational decision

(i'm imagining a future world where society is not judgmental, euthanasia is not stigmatized, and a Nembutal can purchased as easily as alcohol - you are the final judge of your life and your destiny)

If i ever get Hands on Nembutal, i know i would take it within 48hrs of getting it into my Hands.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

If I had N now, I'd take it instantly.

me too

my 'existence' = state sanctioned torture

worsening every minute

irremediable 100%

cruel 100%

 

[Csmith8827]

Now. N is smooth and painless. You blackout in like 10-15 minutes. Why would you stay here?

 

[UKscotty]

Don't think I'd trust it, too much to go wrong.

In theory it sounds a great method but in practice not a good one due to the many downsides.

 

[jumbles421]

I would probably take it the next time im alone at home and knew I wouldn't be found. Cause in my own eyes the faster im gone the less I need to suffer by existing

 

[Rainy_days]

I thought I was going to take it within a few months of having it but I'm still around a year+ later.

Yeah I had mine stored in safe deposit box at bank to keep it from losing potency. Forget how many months I sat on it then after doing whole anti emetic regimen and getting rid of my personal stuff, I couldn't do it. Now I would have to acquire it all over again because I wouldn't trust it's potency after years now since aborted attempt.

 

[Sapphire]

You won't know what you will do until you have it in front of you. It is easy to daydream and say you would ctb immediately if you had the means to do it right in front of you. It's another thing to actually have the nerve to go through with it. I've had mine for over a year now. I originally thought that I would use it within a month after getting it, but I'm still here. I'm still afraid to drink it.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

Would take it within seconds of my mom's last breath.

 

[Himalayan]

What do you mean by "finalize your affairs?". Now means now, no time more

 

[bed]

Yeah I had mine stored in safe deposit box at bank to keep it from losing potency. Forget how many months I sat on it then after doing whole anti emetic regimen and getting rid of my personal stuff, I couldn't do it. Now I would have to acquire it all over again because I wouldn't trust it's potency after years now since aborted attempt.

not sure if this would give you any solace but here are two research papers on its stability, your N should still be fine.

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Stability of pentobarbital sodium after reconstitution in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes - PubMed

The stability of pentobarbital sodium (10 mg/mL) in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and pentobarbital sodium (50 mg/mL) after repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes has been studied at 25 deg C by means of a stability-indicating high-performance liquid chromatography assay method. The...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'd take asap

 

[Darkover]

i've been waiting to die for 18 years now if i had N i'd be gone along time ago

 

[Rainy_days]

not sure if this would give you any solace but here are two research papers on its stability, your N should still be fine.

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Stability of pentobarbital sodium after reconstitution in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes - PubMed

The stability of pentobarbital sodium (10 mg/mL) in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and pentobarbital sodium (50 mg/mL) after repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes has been studied at 25 deg C by means of a stability-indicating high-performance liquid chromatography assay method. The...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Thanks. Looks like the longest they tested was 2 years. I think mine is over 7 years old now, and I live in a rather warm tropical climate. It's still in powdered form at least... But I don't think I would take the chance if I attempt again.

 

[ksp]

this is an exercise in introspection and personal autonomy, or self determination

don't focus on the method, its efficiency, peacefulness, or its guarantee
i'm trying to reduce complexity and variables of the equation to the most important aspect: your own decision, or your true will

Nembutal is just a symbol: replace it with "the most peaceful method to humanity"

it is 100% guarantee, peaceful, and dignified, and it will take as long as you want
some people would prefer to loose consciousness in 5 seconds, others would prefer 5 minutes of consciousness (maybe listen to a favorite song), others a few hours - the point is that you wouldn't suffer at all: you would go to sleep, and won't wake up - ever

the main point is that this your decision, and no one can stop you, and no one would judge you: not your family, or your friends, or not people on this website; police would allow you to make up your own mind (it would be legal for you to do it)

so, no one else would contribute to your decision; no one would encourage you to die, and no one else would pressure you to stay alive; this is absolutely your decision - no judgment and no pressure
you are the only judge of your own life - no one else has the right to judge you on way or another; this is your life and your responsibility

would you die now, or would you die later?

for example, i spent more than 15 years on my self analysis and introspection: i don't need to more time to think about my life: my life was not worth it; i just wasted all my awaking hours distracting from constant problems and mental suffering; i'm not pressured by immediate financial problems, so i would spent one or two months without any problems; stress-free, collect my final thoughts and die peacefully

are you at peace with the decision to end your life, without any other pressure?

---

as a mental exercise, i wanted to see if people on this website would prefer to spend some time on introspection, or accept life as it is (far from ideal)

i don't want to use the term 'suicidal' - i think of you as people in touch with their mortality: we know that death is unavoidable, and we'll die sooner or later

so if this website has 100k users, 90k are not currently using it (either dead , or recovered)
out 10k users, 1k would use it almost everyday

my first mental exercise was to guess how many of us would choose to die immediately, how many would choose introspection, and how many would continue life as is, just with a peace of mind that a peaceful death woud be guaranteed

i guessed like this (73 votes so far):

1. 0 to one month - 30%​

2. one month to one year - 40%​

3. undefined - 30%​

i was way off…

---

my second mental exercise: world

current population 8 billion people
3 billion under 18 years of age
4 billion adults
1 billion without internet (no communication at all, for various reasons)

so, if asked this question to the world (normal people), i'm guessing:

1. 0 to 1 month - 1% (or less)​

2. one month to one year - 5%​

3. undefined - 95%​

based on my first mental exercise, i think i would be way off as well, but i don't know how…

(sorry for being boring)

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

not sure if this would give you any solace but here are two research papers on its stability, your N should still be fine.

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Stability of pentobarbital sodium after reconstitution in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes - PubMed

The stability of pentobarbital sodium (10 mg/mL) in 0.9% sodium chloride injection and pentobarbital sodium (50 mg/mL) after repackaging in glass and polypropylene syringes has been studied at 25 deg C by means of a stability-indicating high-performance liquid chromatography assay method. The...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Below is a quote from one of those links:

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

"A yellow discoloration developed after about 2 years, which we have arbitrarily determined disqualifies the preparation from use as an anesthetic."

 

[Givenuponlife]

In a country that was more tolerant of suicide, then the year approach, since then I'd be able to better get my affairs in order. Unfortunately, since that's not the case in the UK, I would likely be pursuing the quicker option.

 

[bed]

Thanks. Looks like the longest they tested was 2 years. I think mine is over 7 years old now, and I live in a rather warm tropical climate. It's still in powdered form at least... But I don't think I would take the chance if I attempt again.

"We also assayed pentobarbital content over time in preparations of various ages up to 6 years old." Although Powdered N from C is a bit different since C's N wasn't pure, to begin with.

Below is a quote from one of those links:

Injectable sodium pentobarbital: Stability at room temperature - PubMed

Pentobarbital sodium (CID: 14075609).

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

"A yellow discoloration developed after about 2 years, which we have arbitrarily determined disqualifies the preparation from use as an anesthetic."

"arbitrarily", it's not determined by any notable reason. As the studies have shown it's still highly stable past the expiration date losing roughly 0.5% of potency per year.

 

[damaged_soul]

You won't know what you will do until you have it in front of you. It is easy to daydream and say you would ctb immediately if you had the means to do it right in front of you. It's another thing to actually have the nerve to go through with it. I've had mine for over a year now. I originally thought that I would use it within a month after getting it, but I'm still here. I'm still afraid to drink it.

I am just curious, not being judgemental or anything, but why are you afraid to drink it?