Discussion If I want to live stream/record my exit for others to see: Is there something wrong with me?

[wait-bus-stop]

Do others have those feelings? I don't know where those thoughts/desires are coming from.

 

[Galileo3630]

It's important to consider the potential harm that live streaming or recording your exit could have on others who may witness it. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and have the desire to share your experience, but it's not a safe or healthy option.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

It's important to consider the potential harm that live streaming or recording your exit could have on others who may witness it. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and have the desire to share your experience, but it's not a safe or healthy optio

Thank you - I do consider I would not want it on a channel that people casually come across - especially children. Thank you for your thoughts

 

[slanabhaile]

I'm not sure about your family/friend situation but for me personally, I wouldn't like that to be their last memory of me.

 

[Galileo3630]

Thank you - I do consider I would not want it on a channel that people casually come across - especially children. Thank you for your thoughts

Thank you for considering my thoughts, I love this forum, it makes me feel heard and understood, but besides that, it just makes me think about the shooting streams that murderers do, it always leaves me traumatized and sick to my stomach.. Maybe you want to stream your exit so you wouldn't feel alone whilst doing it?

 

[wait-bus-stop]

Maybe you want to stream your exit so you wouldn't feel alone whilst doing it?

Thank you for your response I do really appreciate a dialogue on this. To be honest, I don't know where the feelings come from. They just have been growing lately. Maybe it's a sense of a final need to be humiliated or maybe not being alone.

I wish I knew. That is one of the reasons I am reaching out here, to see if others have similar thoughts and how they explain them.

Feel free to add your thoughts or PM me, I am interested in what you have to say.

 

[FuneralCry]

I could never understand why anyone would wish to do this, I would certainly want my last moments to be far away from any other people.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

I could never understand why anyone would wish to do this, I would certainly want my last moments to be far away from any other people.

I understand you totally . I am just trying to explore, why I am having those feelings.

 

[ChildrensITV]

The first time I watched gore, I was slightly trembling. Shortly after, I was able to eat a meal while watching some forms of it.

Unpoular opinion: @wait-bus-stop . If you want to record it for people who are suicidal, I can see it having benefits:

- Those who don't want to suicide will be scared enough to rethink
- Those who want to suicide will know how quick that method is, if it looks painless, etc.

It is educational IMO. Or have I just become callous.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

The first time I watched gore, I was slightly trembling. Shortly after, I was able to eat a meal while watching some forms of it.

Unpoular opinion: @wait-bus-stop . If you want to record it for people who are suicidal, I can see it having benefits:

- Those who don't want to suicide will be scared enough to rethink
- Those who want to suicide will know how quick that method is, if it looks painless, etc.

It is educational IMO. Or have I just become callous.

Have you become too callous - no.

For myself, I am trying to figure out where that desire is coming from - so it's a bit of a different question.

Could a video of my exit provide educational value - probably?

I remember reading a health study that analyzed hanging videos to understand the experience. They timed things like seconds to unconsciousness, how long the body thrashed etc, and how long it was before the body went lifeless. Nothing in it dissuaded me from that method - if anything it made me feel that it was much faster than I imagined and it proved to me it was my preferred choice.

 

[wastingpotential]

I am just trying to explore, why I am having those feelings.

if you want to find out why you're feeling this way, i'd say ask yourself deeper questions that might be in relation to this and see if it triggers any response out of you that might make you see why.

things like "would this make me feel less alone when i die?" "would it help prevent me from turning back / fight off my survival instincts so my death is guaranteed?" "is there anyone i imagine watching this in specific?"

hope this helps

 

[wait-bus-stop]

if you want to find out why you're feeling this way, i'd say ask yourself deeper questions that might be in relation to this and see if it triggers any response out of you that might make you see why.

things like "would this make me feel less alone when i die?" "would it help prevent me from turning back / fight off my survival instincts so my death is guaranteed?" "is there anyone i imagine watching this in specific?"

hope this helps

Thank you for your thoughts - I think they resonate a bit for me.

As I look for ways to carry this out that will not accidentally show up in front of children or unsuspecting adults, I will think about your questions.

 

[treasurehunt]

Do others have those feelings? I don't know where those thoughts/desires are coming from.

I think you want a recognition in your final moment or you're just extremely lonely. Either way If you ever do that i hope it'd find the right audience. Is it ok if i ask what method would u choose?

 

[wait-bus-stop]

I think you want a recognition in your final moment or you're just extremely lonely. Either way If you ever do that i hope it'd find the right audience. Is it ok if i ask what method would u choose?

Full suspension hanging :)

 

[Looking]

I don't see any inherent benefit to it.

I feel like someone would stumble across it accidentally and/or your death being up on the internet forever. I mean, people would use your suicide to gross their friends out, or it'd appear on some gore/death site. Might mean nothing to you, because you'd be dead obviously, but would probably not make your family too happy. There's a lot of stories where loved ones of a deceased person try really hard to remove photos/videos of their corpses/whatever, and it's almost impossible to do once it's been uploaded.

I'm pretty sure there's enough "educational" resources on hanging, and wouldn't provide any additional information or value to the communities that would use that information (Research + communities like here). Hanging is one of the most popular methods of time (I believe it's 2nd), so I don't know what additional data it would provide.

If you're wanting to stream it to a group of friends or trusted adults or whatever, it'd be kinda weird (and the people who watch it would inherently be taking part in somewhat sadistic behavior) but I can't stop what consenting adults want to do. I just don't see any benefit to it, even if you meet the requirements of "Everyone here is an adult and they want to watch it."

I think as everyone else said, actually addressing what the core emotion might be and maybe finding substitutes to it might benefit you more, then doing the actual streaming aspect of it.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

I don't see any inherent benefit to it.

I feel like someone would stumble across it accidentally and/or your death being up on the internet forever. I mean, people would use your suicide to gross their friends out, or it'd appear on some gore/death site. Might mean nothing to you, because you'd be dead obviously, but would probably not make your family too happy. There's a lot of stories where loved ones of a deceased person try really hard to remove photos/videos of their corpses/whatever, and it's almost impossible to do once it's been uploaded.

I'm pretty sure there's enough "educational" resources on hanging, and wouldn't provide any additional information or value to the communities that would use that information (Research + communities like here). Hanging is one of the most popular methods of time (I believe it's 2nd), so I don't know what additional data it would provide.

If you're wanting to stream it to a group of friends or trusted adults or whatever, it'd be kinda weird (and the people who watch it would inherently be taking part in somewhat sadistic behavior) but I can't stop what consenting adults want to do. I just don't see any benefit to it, even if you meet the requirements of "Everyone here is an adult and they want to watch it."

I think as everyone else said, actually addressing what the core emotion might be and maybe finding substitutes to it might benefit you more, then doing the actual streaming aspect of it.

Thank you for your thoughts. I do appreciate the time and effort you put into it. There is a logic to your thoughts. But like most things about dying its is not necessarily about logic. But I am taking into account what you are saying and appreciate it.

 

[Looking]

Thank you for your thoughts. I do appreciate the time and effort you put into it. There is a logic to your thoughts. But like most things about dying its is not necessarily about logic. But I am taking into account what you are saying and appreciate it.

Of course. At the end of the day, it's not something I can control to any meaningful degree. I just think we as suicidal people, especially ones with plans in mind, should be more mindful of how we effect others. You won't live to deal with the consequences, but they will.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Have you become too callous - no.

For myself, I am trying to figure out where that desire is coming from - so it's a bit of a different question.

Could a video of my exit provide educational value - probably?

I remember reading a health study that analyzed hanging videos to understand the experience. They timed things like seconds to unconsciousness, how long the body thrashed etc, and how long it was before the body went lifeless. Nothing in it dissuaded me from that method - if anything it made me feel that it was much faster than I imagined and it proved to me it was my preferred choice.

If you make a video, feel free to DM me a link. Obv it would have to be a livestream.

If you were guaranteed a painless exit in exchange for a live stream of your suicide, would you agree?

Yes - though that was not my first thought. In the end, I have decided that the decision to live stream or not, is as personal of a decision as the method you choose. You have a right to choose how you exit. Nevertheless, links need to be restricted in a way that unexpected children and...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Is this you? @wait-bus-stop

 

[Looking]

If you make a video, feel free to DM me a link. Obv it would have to be a livestream.

Is there a specific reason why you'd have any desire to watch such a thing?

 

[lebrodude]

I wouldn't want to share it with the world personally. Also not comfortable with the idea that it could influence others if they saw it. That's just me though.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I appreciate not wanting to feel so isolated in the end.

Nonetheless, your video would probably be memed and used as hock content online.

 

[SexyIncél]

I don't see what's wrong with recording/streaming it. YOLO. You'll cease to exist. Or maybe the world will cease to exist. And this will be your last communication. Let your imagination loose

Just be careful. If someone catches you, it's evidence

 

[wait-bus-stop]

I appreciate not wanting to feel so isolated in the end.

Nonetheless, your video would probably be memed and used as hock content online.

probably - but being dead has its advantages

 

[Viranamari]

I respect your opinion but I don't understand why anyone would want to do this. Sure you'd be dead by the time but it's some sort of evidence which can be used against you if you fail and someone might stop you. On top of that, kids might accidently watch that and their going to end up traumatised which is undesirable. Or someone might use it for memes. But well, I suppose it would be your last moments in life and mind as well let your imagination loose, right?

 

[Aisley]

I'm a scientist at heart, so if I were to go with sn, I would stream it, make sure people here knew where to find it, all to ease fears or educate, let people know what's coming as well as I could, since that's really the method of choice around here. But hanging videos are everywhere... and because of that, I lean more towards that method, myself. Not much room for fuck ups, really. I guess, as everyone says, depends on why you wanna do it. If you're worried about kids seeing it, well they would already be on a site that shows that or worse.

 

[Sparr0w]

i get you, i actually made a thread a few weeks ago wondering how you could safely livestream your death. it got deleted (fair enough lol).

i mean, others users are correct about traumatising kids n such but... a livestream that only SS members who've been vetted can watch? people being able to say goodbye in real time? maybe one person recording so others (upon request) have an example of what SN will do to them? (slight note: my method is SN)

...i dunno, i like the idea, what can i say.

but, it will be pretty hard to set it up so creeps don't get in, and you'd have to have someone moderate it and trust that person, and if whoever finds you finds out SS is involved, that'd land SS in some deep shit.

so, while actually doing it would be pretty hard: yeah, i get you. you're not alone in a desire to livestream your death.

 

[Avyn]

I feel the same way, I would love to livestream my suicide one day! It surely won't be possible because of multiple reasons though.
You're not alone.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

I'm a scientist at heart, so if I were to go with sn, I would stream it, make sure people here knew where to find it, all to ease fears or educate, let people know what's coming as well as I could, since that's really the method of choice around here. But hanging videos are everywhere... and because of that, I lean more towards that method, myself. Not much room for fuck ups, really. I guess, as everyone says, depends on why you wanna do it. If you're worried about kids seeing it, well they would already be on a site that shows that or worse.

I agree there are less room with fuck up for hangings - the stats seem to consider it one of the more efficient methods

 

[dyn00ss]

Do others have those feelings? I don't know where those thoughts/desires are coming from.

I don't think that's strange, I think about wanting to make a broadcast to ensure that I do the ctb, and not feel alone in my last moments..

 

[rationaltake]

I'm wondering if you're actually planning on doing this or if it's purely a fantasy?

Do you see it as something like a goodbye thread?

Do you have family and friends who might see it and if so how do you feel about that?

A lot of people online constantly post photos selfies and videos. Do you perhaps feel that you shouldn't have to hide away to end your life? That suicide shouldn't be taboo? Are you concerned about showing the truth?

Just some thoughts.