Discussion If I only want to commit suicide when I'm drunk, am I suicidal or just an alcoholic?

[ukemaster]

I've been struggling with this a good deal... I've always felt that if I were ever to truly CTB I'd have to be intoxicated to have the willpower to do so... probably by shooting or jumping. If any of y'all feel similar I'd be curious to know if you'd attribute the suicidal thoughts/tendencies to the albebcohol, or if the alcohol brings out something more fundamental in you.

For what it might be worth, even when I'm sober, I feel that my likely cause of death will be suicide. Probably by gunshot

 

[$nowLeopard]

by shooting

Should probably do it sober so you don't blow your face off

 

[coal-light]

Isn't alcoholic when you're addicted to being drunk? The kind of thoughts you have while drunk are more of a mirror ("exaggeration"/aggravation) of your mental state, so that would make you suicidal. Unless you're also 24/7 in which case you'd be both. If it makes you feel any better, that's my situation as well.

 

[Sadness20]

I think the question is if you still want to CTB when you're sober. And if you just feel like you can overcome your SI when being drunk.

 

[ukemaster]

Should probably do it sober so you don't blow your face off

Isn't that the point? To blow your face off?

 

[LoveAndMonsters]

I wouldn't do it under the influence, you're more likely to not CTB and permanently injure yourself.

 

[ukemaster]

I think the question is if you still want to CTB when you're sober. And if you just feel like you can overcome your SI when being drunk.

When I'm sober, I want my cause of death to be suicide... though I'd very rarely admit that. But also when I'm sober I just can't bring myself to pull the trigger....

For what it's worth, I don't currently own a gun... if I did, I'd be dead months ago and not be talking on this thread

I wouldn't do it under the influence, you're more likely to not CTB and permanently injure yourself.

Yeah one of my worst fears is ending up a lifelong cripple. That's why I'd want my method to be damn near fool proof...

Have you thought about how you would do it?

 

[Elegy]

Alcohol is a depressant. One night I got drunk off my rocker, and coked out of my mind. I put what I genuinely believed to be a loaded pistol to my temple and pulled the trigger. Would I have done that were I not drunk or coming down off cocaine? Probably not. In retrospect my judgement was clouded by chemicals. I used my 380 with target ammo instead of my 9mm Beretta with hollow points. So yeah. To answer your question.

 

[$nowLeopard]

Isn't that the point? To blow your face off?

Oh boy. If you blow your face off you don't die.
The point is to blow your brains out, not your face. Imagine your jaw being blown to pieces. It'll hurt like hell and you'll die only after hours.

 

[ukemaster]

Alcohol is a depressant. One night I got drunk off my rocker, and coked out of my mind. I put what I genuinely believed to be a loaded pistol to my temple and pulled the trigger. Would I have done that were I not drunk or coming down off cocaine? Probably not. In retrospect my judgement was clouded by chemicals. I used my 380 with target ammo instead of my 9mm Beretta with hollow points. So yeah. To answer your question.

You and I are very similar then... I'm just lucky that I've never owned a firearm... Or some would say that I'm lucky I guess

 

[setup]

Dang this is a tough questions. I think the real question is what caused u to drink or drink so much. Alcohol I think just ups what your feeling. If u were down and that caused u to drink, ur going to feel even more down while drinking

 

[bettyboop40]

I have similar issues. Suffer from depression which makes me want to binge drink and then end up feeling worse. I feel like I want to CTB but need alcohol to overcome my SI. Alcohol is a depressant though and does make you do things you wouldn't normally.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Isn't that the point? To blow your face off?

NO!!!!! DO NOT. You can fucking live from that, dude. You don't aim for the face, you aim for the back of your skull.

If I only want to commit suicide when I'm drunk, am I suicidal or just an alcoholic?

Alcohol removes inhibitions. This is why people hook up at bars and parties and shit, cause they're drunk, so they don't have the fear they usually have when approaching people. If you feel suicidal when drunk, the alcohol is numbing your hard coded self preservation. What you're feeling and desire is able to reach the surface. That doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic but what I'm saying is that one doesn't necessarily have to do with the other.