If I don't conquer my social anxiety, it'll kill me.

[Anxi0usandDepressed]

Social anxiety is ruining my life. It controls every aspect of it. I can't talk on the phone, can't facetime friends, can't buy myself something at a shop/cafe/store/etc, can't take public transport on my own, can't go out anywhere on my own, etc etc etc.

I have no independence as a 19 turning 20 year old, I am a complete shut-in, I haven't socialised with anyone outside of my family for 3 months, I haven't gone *outside* in 3 months, except for when I go to therapy or the doctors. Everything in life scares me, everything in life overwhelms me, if I don't do something and get a handle on things now I will never go anywhere in life. I will never get a job, get my license, have friends, get a partner, be an independent adult, none of it.

If I keep going down this path I'm on, I will be a socially inept shut-in who still depends on my poor grandparents for everything at 25. I'll kill myself if I become like that. I know I need to do something, or this shit is going to kill me. I just feel so trapped, scared, I don't know where to start or what to do in order to get better. I want to die in my sleep every day, I don't have confidence that I'll have the strength or the courage to fight this. I hate this so much.

 

[iloverachel]

Good luck my friend
I have social anxiety and generalised anxiety too and it's really hell
Lots of articles on how to overcome it
Baby steps
You can do this my friend

 

[Anxi0usandDepressed]

Good luck my friend
I have social anxiety and generalised anxiety too and it's really hell
Lots of articles on how to overcome it
Baby steps
You can do this my friend

Thank you, it means a lot, especially coming from someone who knows what it's like.

 

[iloverachel]

Thank you, it means a lot, especially coming from someone who knows what it's like.

I have suffered from crippling anxiety for about 8 years along with depression
I managed to get my license and find work in that period so it's definitely possible
For me what worked was taking small steps and facing your fears slowly (exposure therapy)
For me I'm terrified of being around crowded places, but I slowly go to places where there's tiny amounts of people like a quiet park. Then gradually work to more busy places and you will eventually get used to it

If you face failure on setbacks just keep trying!

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Social anxiety is ruining my life. It controls every aspect of it. I can't talk on the phone, can't facetime friends, can't buy myself something at a shop/cafe/store/etc, can't take public transport on my own, can't go out anywhere on my own, etc etc etc.

I have no independence as a 19 turning 20 year old, I am a complete shut-in, I haven't socialised with anyone outside of my family for 3 months, I haven't gone *outside* in 3 months, except for when I go to therapy or the doctors. Everything in life scares me, everything in life overwhelms me, if I don't do something and get a handle on things now I will never go anywhere in life. I will never get a job, get my license, have friends, get a partner, be an independent adult, none of it.

If I keep going down this path I'm on, I will be a socially inept shut-in who still depends on my poor grandparents for everything at 25. I'll kill myself if I become like that. I know I need to do something, or this shit is going to kill me. I just feel so trapped, scared, I don't know where to start or what to do in order to get better. I want to die in my sleep every day, I don't have confidence that I'll have the strength or the courage to fight this. I hate this so much.

This sounds too familiar. I will turn 30 next month I can´t wrap my head around it, I wasted my twenties to anxiety and depression mostly to anxiety I was too afraid to go out and live life I also suffered and still suffer from chronical illnesses so they would´ve hindered me too but due to other reasons whereas anxiety robs you of life I hope you overcome it although I don´t know how because I don´t wish for you to go down my path waking up in 10 years having wasted the time in life where everyone makes there memories, where your friends are out partying in clubs, at festivals etc. or traveling with their friends to foreign countries seeing the world you´re locked inside your room with your only experience in life is sitting in front of a computer.

Sorry this thread felt pretty personal to me since you´re pretty much describing me at your age. What I will say if you´re not already doing it is try some meds for anxiety that helped me a lot to take the edge although they far from cured me they helped some and I wish I had started the meds earlier in life although because of my chronical problems they wouldn´t have made a huge difference in how my life turned out.

 

[imbackagainhi]

try psilocybin treatment if it's available in your country.

if not, try anyway. JUST DON'T DO IT ALONE OR RECREATIONALLY. it's not a party drug. it's medicine. it can help. listen to this video all the way, kid went from nervous, socially anxious wreck incapable of talking to people to a completely normal guy.

(if at any point he sounds insane, he's using metaphors to describe the transformative experience he had. and the interviewer is asking him bait questions.)

 

[TheGoodGuy]

try psilocybin treatment if it's available in your country.

if not, try anyway. JUST DON'T DO IT ALONE OR RECREATIONALLY. it's not a party drug. it's medicine. it can help. listen to this video all the way, kid went from nervous, socially anxious wreck incapable of talking to people to a completely normal guy.

(if at any point he sounds insane, he's using metaphors to describe the transformative experience he had. and the interviewer is asking him bait questions.)

I have been curious about trying psychedelics for about a decade but felt my mind was too fragile for it but I keep coming back to maybe it would fix or enlighten me of some things that might seem impossible now but might seem very obvious on LSD or Psylocybin like opening a door in my head but that is also where I am afraid it could open a wrong door and I have no friends to do it with so my best possibility for safety is doing it alone but having benzos on hand for trip stopping.

 

[Linda]

You could try setting yourself a very modest goal every single day. Figure out what you can do in the way of interacting with other people, and each day set as a goal something that is just a bit outside your comfort zone. Force yourself to attempt it. (It doesn't matter if you fail sometimes, but you mustn't let yourself fail every time.) If you keep doing that, you will be able to gradually expand the limits of what you are able to do, without putting yourself under too much stress while doing it.

You have to push yourself a bit. I don't think you can fix your problem unless you do that. But don't push yourself too hard.

Have you tried therapy? That might help too. But even with therapy, I think you are going to have to do most of the work yourself to fix this.

Good luck.

 

[imbackagainhi]

I have been curious about trying psychedelics for about a decade but felt my mind was too fragile for it but I keep coming back to maybe it would fix or enlighten me of some things that might seem impossible now but might seem very obvious on LSD or Psylocybin like opening a door in my head but that is also where I am afraid it could open a wrong door and I have no friends to do it with so my best possibility for safety is doing it alone but having benzos on hand for trip stopping.

antipsychotics cancel trips. and if you don't have trusted people to do it with yeah that makes it difficult.

as for opening the wrong door... it may happen that you have a bad experience but each experience is different.

and from me and everyone i know's experience it definitely opens doors. some you may not like, but if you research and do the buddhist "ego death" it will most certainly be enlightening. good luck and stay safe!

edit: I've taken larger doses twice, first one cured my depression+social anxiety+self esteem issues+agoraphobia etc for over 6 months, second time i was way too chemically inbalanced (depression-brain-wise) so the effects passed in 1-2 days. but it has always, always been a good experience and while it lasted i had zero depression symptoms.

 

[Raven2]

I used to suffer quite badly with social anxiety from quite a young age and throughout my adult life. I struggled with talking and used to stutter especially if I was talking to a stranger. I managed to get a small job when I was a teen and have worked consistently since then.
I still have it to some degree but nowhere near as bad as it was.

Things to help:
Meds
Therapy
Setting small goals widening your comfort zone eg I used to panic on public transport so used to listen to music on earphones to calm me down

Could maybe your friends come to your house to socialise until you are ready to socialise away from home?

Take baby steps and you will see what you can achieve

 

[vadim]

I was in the exact same state as you for a couple of years. What really sucks is that the treatment (exposure therapy) basically amounts to "just get out there and do it", which feels like an insurmountable challenge when you're not even able to look people in the eye or speak without sounding like you're about to cry. It's frustrating to hear, I know. While it gets easier (not necessarily less painful, but more doable) when you make a habit of socialising, getting started is the biggest hurdle and I wish I had better advice to give for how to approach it.

I will say that social ability is like a muscle; if you don't use it, you lose it. Isolating yourself makes it so much harder to get back out there, so if you manage to start meeting people (I'm rooting for you), resist the temptation to fall back into old habits.

Personally, I'm now socialising semi-regularly, mainly through a sports club I'm in, but I don't have any friends. Only friendly aquaintances that I don't talk to outside of club events and wouldn't stay in touch with if I left. It's objectively an improvement from the way I was before but it's hard to appreciate that when to me my current situation feels like just a different flavour of misery, speaking from behind a mask and having no one to confide in or miss me when I'm gone.

Hoping things get better for me and for you

 

[TheGoodGuy]

antipsychotics cancel trips. and if you don't have trusted people to do it with yeah that makes it difficult.

as for opening the wrong door... it may happen that you have a bad experience but each experience is different.

and from me and everyone i know's experience it definitely opens doors. some you may not like, but if you research and do the buddhist "ego death" it will most certainly be enlightening. good luck and stay safe!

edit: I've taken larger doses twice, first one cured my depression+social anxiety+self esteem issues+agoraphobia etc for over 6 months, second time i was way too chemically inbalanced (depression-brain-wise) so the effects passed in 1-2 days. but it has always, always been a good experience and while it lasted i had zero depression symptoms.

I don´t have any anti psychotics but can´t I just use benzos for that too?

And interesting read, I have heard many people talk about even the bad trips can be good for you so I am aware of that, but for a first timer would it be unwise to use a smaller dose outside alone, because I think it might feel too claustrophobic being inside right? And if I have benzos with me as a trip stopper I can´t go totally wrong can it? I was thinking a stroll through the forest in the summer could be amazing on acid.

 

[Z-A]

I wish you the best and hopefully you'll overcome it soon. Let it be temporary

 

[theboy]

I also have some eeso but it can be worked on.

 

[UKscotty]

I used to have terrible social anxiety but I get on well in big groups and I love even busy places like NY or london.. very odd lol. I used to even hate going shopping and would go at like 3am to avoid people.

I'd say start very small and slow. Slowly slowly build up confidence.

Took me many years to feel comfortable around people.

 

[imbackagainhi]

I don´t have any anti psychotics but can´t I just use benzos for that too?

And interesting read, I have heard many people talk about even the bad trips can be good for you so I am aware of that, but for a first timer would it be unwise to use a smaller dose outside alone, because I think it might feel too claustrophobic being inside right? And if I have benzos with me as a trip stopper I can´t go totally wrong can it? I was thinking a stroll through the forest in the summer could be amazing on acid.

i don't think benzos are as good as antipsychotics unfortunately, but you might wanna read up on that. I'd do it for you but suicide watching myself rn.

it's true, bad trips aren't such a big boogeyman, the bad things you hear come from irresponsible kids who wanna party and get trashed and don't know how to use.

for a first timer, find the place that is most comfortable and safe for you with the least amount of things that would give you negative feelings. you get very sensitive when you're in an open mindstate. i don't recommend going outside unless you love nature and feel safe there. i get paranoid that way. i love the comfort of a room, though i don't have claustrophobia. what matters is that your surroundings don't trigger bad or painful emotions in you.

and as for dose, start small. maybe microdose at first. your tolerance goes up really fast and trips get less intensive. if you're on antidepressants they also make psilocybin effects milder (read up on that too if you want, been told it causes serotonin syndrome but it's complete bullshit, they work very well with most SSRIs. there's a list.)

keep something grounding and relaxing at hand, that's for sure going to help. i like my plushies.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

i don't think benzos are as good as antipsychotics unfortunately, but you might wanna read up on that. I'd do it for you but suicide watching myself rn.

it's true, bad trips aren't such a big boogeyman, the bad things you hear come from irresponsible kids who wanna party and get trashed and don't know how to use.

for a first timer, find the place that is most comfortable and safe for you with the least amount of things that would give you negative feelings. you get very sensitive when you're in an open mindstate. i don't recommend going outside unless you love nature and feel safe there. i get paranoid that way. i love the comfort of a room, though i don't have claustrophobia. what matters is that your surroundings don't trigger bad or painful emotions in you.

and as for dose, start small. maybe microdose at first. your tolerance goes up really fast and trips get less intensive. if you're on antidepressants they also make psilocybin effects milder (read up on that too if you want, been told it causes serotonin syndrome but it's complete bullshit, they work very well with most SSRIs. there's a list.)

keep something grounding and relaxing at hand, that's for sure going to help. i like my plushies.

Thanks this helped a lot especially the parts about where to trip since most people would most likely recommend nature but as you said you have to be comfortable there and despite how much I love nature there is not a comfortable spot nearby so my apartment might be the best choice, I also don´t suffer from claustrophobia but I just heard people on psychedelics could feel that way being inside while tripping.

And of course I would read up on the meds too I am not on SSRI´s but Pregabalin so gotta check up on that IF I decide to try tripping.

 

[hollywhite13]

Social anxiety is ruining my life. It controls every aspect of it. I can't talk on the phone, can't facetime friends, can't buy myself something at a shop/cafe/store/etc, can't take public transport on my own, can't go out anywhere on my own, etc etc etc.

I have no independence as a 19 turning 20 year old, I am a complete shut-in, I haven't socialised with anyone outside of my family for 3 months, I haven't gone *outside* in 3 months, except for when I go to therapy or the doctors. Everything in life scares me, everything in life overwhelms me, if I don't do something and get a handle on things now I will never go anywhere in life. I will never get a job, get my license, have friends, get a partner, be an independent adult, none of it.

If I keep going down this path I'm on, I will be a socially inept shut-in who still depends on my poor grandparents for everything at 25. I'll kill myself if I become like that. I know I need to do something, or this shit is going to kill me. I just feel so trapped, scared, I don't know where to start or what to do in order to get better. I want to die in my sleep every day, I don't have confidence that I'll have the strength or the courage to fight this. I hate this so much.

CBT and a mild antidepressant will help you tremendously- be careful with the antidepressants though - you could feel suicidal in first week or so so keep in contact with your doc and stop them if it's really bad.

 

[unabletocope]

Take a step back and take in your perspective, where your feet currently are, where you are standing. You're sharing this issue with people so to some extent you're able to open up about it, that's a good sign and Is better than a lot of people who don't know how to express it. From there, where do you go? What do you want to do? Who would you like to talk to? Think about the type of people you'd like to meet and go for it. If you need meds ask for meds but I think you'll be okay. Best wishes and good luck

 

[lovelydeath]

Social Anxiety is horrible. I had it in highschool and middle school and children especially just think you want to be alone. They dont understand how your brain can be preventing you from talking to them even though you really want to. And even if they come up to you and try to make you join the group no words will come out. Luckily i do think this goes away with age usually? Thats what people always say and it happened to me