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ph4zzzy

ph4zzzy

Member
Apr 3, 2023
14
I would purchase some kind of cyanide pill/capsule, and take however much I'd need with me to my old high school, (recently graduated) and hide it somewhere in a pocket/sleeve. At lunch, I'd find my closest friends and boyfriend and talk to them as usual. halfway through, I'd give out anything I want/have planned to give them and lay down in my boyfriends lap as if I was having a nap, and tell him:
"look in my bag for me in a couple minutes, I love you"
In my bag there'd be nothing other than my suicide notes.
Then, finally, I take out my water bottle and as discreetly as I can, swallow the cyanide and close my eyes. I'd want to ctb in his arms, listening to the voices of my favorite people speaking with one another, and holding on to my boyfriends hand. Id I could ctb any way, I would go in my happy place.
 
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PrettyKitty

PrettyKitty

Angel
Mar 27, 2023
180
I would purchase some kind of cyanide pill/capsule, and take however much I'd need with me to my old high school, (recently graduated) and hide it somewhere in a pocket/sleeve. At lunch, I'd find my closest friends and boyfriend and talk to them as usual. halfway through, I'd give out anything I want/have planned to give them and lay down in my boyfriends lap as if I was having a nap, and tell him:
"look in my bag for me in a couple minutes, I love you"
In my bag there'd be nothing other than my suicide notes.
Then, finally, I take out my water bottle and as discreetly as I can, swallow the cyanide and close my eyes. I'd want to ctb in his arms, listening to the voices of my favorite people speaking with one another, and holding on to my boyfriends hand. Id I could ctb any way, I would go in my happy place.
Hey I understand why you want to CTB in the comfort of a loved one. Are you sure you want him to be tramitized though? Not trying to be hateful or anything just worried he might have to live with that forever ya know? If you need anybody to talk too I'm here for you.💕much love 🙏
 
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ph4zzzy

ph4zzzy

Member
Apr 3, 2023
14
Hey I understand why you want to CTB in the comfort of a loved one. Are you sure you want him to be tramitized though? Not trying to be hateful or anything just worried he might have to live with that forever ya know? If you need anybody to talk too I'm here for you.💕much love 🙏
hi, I really appreciate your concern and I've most definitely thought about that, but I know for a fact that I need to have my last moments to be around those that I love most, and I don't think it would affect him the same way it would my mother in my own home or siblings. I know that both him and my friends will eventually understand why I chose to go the way I did and hopefully appreciate that they got to be there till the very end of my life. Much love<3
 

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