Venting If dying of suicide makes you an invisible death

[Breadbfra]

I've been dropping off SS lately due to me finally getting to live with my fiancée. She's what everyone calls a "survivor", because her mother died of suicide so you could imagine what seeing me on this site could do to her.

Today we decided to give her mother a salute at the cemetery. We were both noticing how her grave was basically empty except for two or three dead bouquets, while other graves were always full of flowers. She had 5 brothers, two daughters, many friends...none of them brought her a single flower in 5 months. And you were maybe asking: "Why hasn't your fiancee brang flowers?" Because she always has to go to the cemetery without telling anyone, otherwise her dad wouldn't allow her. And, as it happens in small towns, everyone knows her and what happened.
My fiancée's sister just basically went to the funeral and acted like nothing happened. It even erased her from her son's memory, which suddenly stopped asking about his granny. Now they act like she didn't exist.
I was noticing too that in the facebook group dedicated to this town (no more than 5000+ habitants), they always publish inscriptions about the deads. Every single one.
Nothing was written about her.
I get that our country is centuries away from being civilized but sometimes I feel I'm living in 1800.
i've just noticed that the italian press has started censoring suicide news. They simply don't show on the main newspapers.

A woman's memory has been erased because of ignorant deeply rooted convinctions.

 

[Ghost2211]

That's very sad. Suicide shouldn't be treated as shameful.

 

[franklynlb]

I don't really know the whole story but media tries to stay away from suicide related news cause it might cause more suicides. There's studies about it. It can be quite unfair tho. Idk what's up with the sister and the family not taking flowers tho, that's just plain mean to her memory.
Sorry if this isn't the case here. Just figured i would drop the information i had.
Congrats on moving in with your fiancee!

 

[Breadbfra]

I don't really know the whole story but media tries to stay away from suicide related news cause it might cause more suicides. There's studies about it. It can be quite unfair tho. Idk what's up with the sister and the family not taking flowers tho, that's just plain mean to her memory.
Sorry if this isn't the case here. Just figured i would drop the information i had.
Congrats on moving in with your fiancee!

Actually before Covid Italy spoke about suicides quite often since it's still a taboo. Now they erased from the socials even an article about The International day of survivors: they published an article on the web, but they didn't put it on any social media whatsoever.
While there's 45 articles about stupid realities

 

[franklynlb]

Actually before Covid Italy spoke about suicides quite often since it's still a taboo. Now they erased from the socials even an article about The International day of survivors: they published an article on the web, but they didn't put it on any social media whatsoever.
While there's 45 articles about stupid realities

Maybe it's a country thing then, but i've read articules about media being a negative influence when the topic of suicide is touched, mainly due to bad managment of the information, or citing methods, pictures, etc. It seems to have a negative effect in a certain group of people. But i wouldn't know details of how each country manages this.

 

[Breadbfra]

Maybe it's a country thing then, but i've read articules about media being a negative influence when the topic of suicide is touched, mainly due to bad managment of the information, or citing methods, pictures, etc. It seems to have a negative effect in a certain group of people. But i wouldn't know details of how each country manages this.

honestly that's a new thing? great to know. Can you send me the articles you read on pm? It would be very interesting. Thanks a lot!

 

[justsad&done]

I've been dropping off SS lately due to me finally getting to live with my fiancée. She's what everyone calls a "survivor", because her mother died of suicide so you could imagine what seeing me on this site could do to her.

Today we decided to give her mother a salute at the cemetery. We were both noticing how her grave was basically empty except for two or three dead bouquets, while other graves were always full of flowers. She had 5 brothers, two daughters, many friends...none of them brought her a single flower in 5 months. And you were maybe asking: "Why hasn't your fiancee brang flowers?" Because she always has to go to the cemetery without telling anyone, otherwise her dad wouldn't allow her. And, as it happens in small towns, everyone knows her and what happened.
My fiancée's sister just basically went to the funeral and acted like nothing happened. It even erased her from her son's memory, which suddenly stopped asking about his granny. Now they act like she didn't exist.
I was noticing too that in the facebook group dedicated to this town (no more than 5000+ habitants), they always publish inscriptions about the deads. Every single one.
Nothing was written about her.
I get that our country is centuries away from being civilized but sometimes I feel I'm living in 1800.
i've just noticed that the italian press has started censoring suicide news. They simply don't show on the main newspapers.

A woman's memory has been erased because of ignorant deeply rooted convinctions.

That is very sad. I went through a very similar thing when someone very, very close to me died of suicide. It should not be shameful.

 

[next-season .?]

it don matter tbh