Discussion If any, what meds are you taking? Are they working?

[WornOutLife]

I often read different experiences about how meds have changed the lives of some people for the better or for the worse.
Treating suicide and depression is certainly not easy at all.

Thus, I would like to ask you: What meds are you taking? Are they working for you? Any side effects?

As for me, I used to take risperidone 3mg and lorazepam 4mg but I was just a zombie so, my new psych (a cool guy) prescribed me new meds and now I'm managing to sleep, study and work. Basically, I'm having a normal life, except for exercising which is too hard for me because I'm really lazy lol. Now, I'm taking bupropion 150mg and lamotrigine 125mg in the morning, and quetiapine 25mg at night.

What about you? Tell me about your experiences with meds!

 

[ClairyFairy]

Mine are stopping me from ctb but have no other therapeutic value. Therapy works but is hard to come by

 

[WornOutLife]

Mine are stopping me from ctb but have no other therapeutic value. Therapy works but is hard to come by

That happened to me with my previous meds too. They managed to make me think less about suicide but I was as useful and productive as a fallen leaf in a forest.

 

[Carrotcake]

I've been on:

• Escitolapram
• Fluoxetine
• Venlafaxine
• Bupropion
• Notriptyline
• Nortriptyline + lithium

Now I'm weaning of the nortriptyline and lithium so I can switch to a MAOi.

So moral of the story is: nothing really works However, in the periods I'm off antidepressants I do get worse.


For sleeping I've had a bunch of benzo's that all stop working for me after a few days. Now I'm on quetiapine as well and I'm sleeping fine

 

[WornOutLife]

I've been on:

• Escitolapram
• Fluoxetine
• Venlafaxine
• Bupropion
• Notriptyline
• Nortriptyline + lithium

Now I'm weaning of the nortriptyline and lithium so I can switch to a MAOi.

So moral of the story is: nothing really works However, in the periods I'm off antidepressants I do get worse.


For sleeping I've had a bunch of benzo's that all stop working for me after a few days. Now I'm on quetiapine as well and I'm sleeping fine

You've certainly been through more than one med lol.
Well, I'm glad to hear quetiapine is working for you too. Not being able to sleep made my days much more hellish.

However, my psych told me that the idea of my (and any) treatment is to decrease the doses little by little until I can have a normal life without taking any pills but I think that will be impossible. What's more, I'll want a higher dose when I become "immune" to these pills haha.

 

[Unicorns]

I'm on fluoxetine and pregabalin. Pregabalin worked well to begin with but after being on it for a couple of years I keep needing to increase the dose for it to work. Same with fluoxetine. I kinda think although meds help a bit, if I'm alone and rubbish life, I'm still going to feel bad.

I've tried antipsychotics but I always got bad side effects with them, even on a low dose.

 

[Sensei]

I'm taking Lithionit (lithium), Lamictal (lamotrigine), and Abilify (Aripiprazol); the last one is probably redundant. They have prevented episodes, both hypomanic and depressive, just as intended, but they don't really help against anxiety and normal depressive thoughts. I've restorted to self-medication to deal with that and it works quite well.

 

[SweetDreams500]

lithium, quetiapine, nortriptyline and methyl folate. they don't help, so I stopped taking them for a few days. Probably not a great idea, but I figured they may be able to make me more suicidal, enough to actually go through with it.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm taking Lithionit (lithium), Lamictal (lamotrigine), and Abilify (Aripiprazol); the last one is probably redundant. They have prevented episodes, both hypomanic and depressive, just as intended, but they don't really help against anxiety and normal depressive thoughts. I've restorted to self-medication to deal with that and it works quite well.

Oh I used to take aripiprazol and it was really redundant for me too.
I see you're also taking lamotrigine. According to my psych, that's the most important one.

 

[Amumu]

I used to take Mianserin + Duloxetin, now I don't take anything except for Valium

 

[bloomingdark]

Since I was diagnosed last year I am in escitalopram first i was in 10 mg and now i am on 20 mg not that much of a difference , even though I have told my psychiatrist that it got my anxiety to get better but my depression to be the most hard one I see he hasn't done anything about it and i am constantly falling asleep, distracted, emotionless and sometimes I have really bad insomnia , not like I want to be heavy drugged but feels like I am already so idk, suicidal drive is growing like crazy but I don't know if doing anything about it, i even thought on cutting myself from taking medication, maybe that can put me into a crisis and i can ctb already

 

[Hirokami]

I've been taking escitalopram for about 6 months now. My ctb thoughts are less intense but now it's hard for me give a shit about anything in general haha

 

[bloomingdark]

I've been taking escitalopram for about 6 months now. My ctb thoughts are less intense but now it's hard for me give a shit about anything in general haha

Can't relate more...

 

[Trisolaris]

Whoever thinks of quitting medication cold turkey - don't do it. Believe me, you don't want to deal with what comes next.

 

[WornOutLife]

Whoever thinks of quitting medication cold turkey - don't do it. Believe me, you don't want to deal with what comes next.

This is great advice.
I made this mistake last year and I think that forced me to try to ctb last August because I was super duper unstable.

 

[elfgyoza]

Sertraline probably caused my first suicide attempt lol
I've also tried

• Diazepam
• Clonazepam
• Lorazepam
• Quetiapine
• Lamotragine
• Mirtazipine

Currently on Venlafaxine and Aripiprazole. I'm supposed to be taking the mirtazipine, but it was doing absolutely nothing but cause weight gain so ‍
I also take vitamin D and folic acid, I think they actually helped the low energy levels I had somewhat

 

[HopelessFight]

I'm taking several meds I want to get off, but one thing I know for sure: I personally never want to take SSRI/SNRI's again. It caused sleeping issues, I couldn't cum anymore (sorry, NSFW) and the withdrawal is just horrible. And worst of all, they never had any effect on me.

 

[alown]

well, my doctor has been prescribing me an antidepressant for 2 months now (Escitalopram), I still have suicidal urges and negative thoughts, especially in the evening and in the morning.




at the beginning I had no positive effect on my psychological state, it is from the 3rd week of taking medication that I started to feel an improvement but this does not take away my desire to die, I have the feeling of not having any more emotions, as if my psychological state was neutral, but it is only a crutch. because of this medication i sleep a lot, and i eat more than before.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Quetiapine
Pregabalin
Carbamazepine
Sertralin

They help some, Pregabalin is the best one but need to take more than prescribed if really panicking.

 

[Life_and_Death]

currently, buspirone. its the only thing that has helped so far. of course when the first one made me insane/pushed me closer to suicide, the second made me sleep all day and the third made me sick, its no wonder and a surprise i found anything to work.

as for what its doing. to start with, its an antianxiety but i dont think its helping that. however it is helping with the voices. i probably would have been pushed over the cliff A LOT sooner if it wasnt for this med. the voices arent really gone, theyre still there, but i dont have to listen to them. its like they are in another room discussing whatever and then they hand me a note that this is what they say. and the overall peace and quiet (aside from my own stupidity when i get high wrong) is nice however not enough. i need an antidepressant.

while some people might find help in therapy, and while it does help me to a degree. it doesnt really. not to the extent or the way i need it. my only hope is medication. (eye roll, this is the good part) its not that simple. im sensitive to meds (hence the horrible reaction to the antipsychotics). and thats not even my only obstacle. the medication im currently on, yeah dont take anything else. theres a chance (and a higher chance for me) to get serotonin syndrome. YAY POSSIBLE DEATH! which leave me in the state of "now what?". 1) risk possible death 2) go back to living with the voices so i can safely try other meds or 3) up the dose on my current one and pray to god that it does something (which aside from helping my anxiety, i cant see it doing much else)

honestly the whole situation and my disorders basically tell me "you suck and youre fucked" and i cant find a reason to not "pull the trigger". i have a knot in the rope. i have something that can hold me and most likely time to do it, and tomorrow is just going to be the same thing as well as every following day.

however i digressed. to put simply is meds hate me lol

 

[Mentalmick]

Venlafaxine
Olanzapine
Propanolol
Trazodone
Simvastatin
Laxido.

The statins and laxido work, not sure about the brain tablets.

 

[naiad]

Pregabalin, Mirtazapine, Lamotrigine, Hydroxyzine - only helped a little and i still want ctb </3

Before Sulpiride and SSRI but I've had too many side effects.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I've been on every SSRI available and a couple of tricyclic antidepressants. Nothing has helped. Some of them made me significantly worse, others didn't make a difference.

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist next week though, so I may ask if there's anything else I could try. The way I see it is that I already want to die and feel a massive void where my heart and my feelings are meant to be, so I have nothing to lose by trying something completely different. If it makes me worse, I can kill myself. If something helps, it might make me decide to stick around a little longer.

 

[Trisolaris]

I've been on every SSRI available and a couple of tricyclic antidepressants. Nothing has helped. Some of them made me significantly worse, others didn't make a difference.

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist next week though, so I may ask if there's anything else I could try. The way I see it is that I already want to die and feel a massive void where my heart and my feelings are meant to be, so I have nothing to lose by trying something completely different. If it makes me worse, I can kill myself. If something helps, it might make me decide to stick around a little longer.

Have you tried SNRIs? Mirtazapine is an option. Also Wellbutrin.

 

[Sensei]

I see you're also taking lamotrigine. According to my psych, that's the most important one.

For bipolar disorder II it certainly is, but not necessarily bipolar disorder I.

 

[bad luck]

Paroxetine, diazepam, zolpidem, trazodone. Honestly, they only numb a little, my problems are many. It is as if you gave the beggar some coins. He will drink some wine to forget how he came to live on the street but the next day it will remain the same. I think I am destroyed. 20 years of psychiatric drugs will have damaged part of my brain.

 

[Ame]

Presently I am not being followed by a psychiatrist nor am I on any medications. I have tried various treatment modalities which included a long list of medications, neuromodulation and a tonne of therapy over the years. I don't recall exact dosages for each medication but I've been on the following:

• Fluoxetine
• Bupropion
• Citalopram
• Lithium
• Venlafaxine
• Lorazepam
• Risperidone
• Methylphenidate
• Lisdexamfetamine

The easiest and perhaps most succinct way to compare my unmedicated state versus my experience on medications that have helped would be to refer to that "Let's try on these nightmare vision goggles" meme. During a depressive episode, I can switch on those goggles and the simulated nightmare I am given seems like an improvement over my reality. When medications do help, at best, the nightmare ends up looking the more or less the same as the real world and I don't have to deal with the more physical manifestations of my depression. Ironically, stimulant medications have done a lot more for my anxiety than any anxiolytic agent I've been prescribed ha ha -- I just remember feeling so calm and focused.

Quitting medications cold turkey is a hellish experience and I've been stupid enough to do it often because there were times when I was feeling too anxious to re-fill my own prescriptions...The brain zaps (those who know, will know). One of the stupidest things I've ever done was quit my 337,5 mg/day course of venlafaxine without alerting my treatment team and then not taking anything for months. When I was admitted to ER some time later, I was given that dose (for context, it was an extremely high dose) and ended up getting so sick. I got into a lot of trouble when the truth came out because the consequences of taking such a high dose after taking nothing for so long could have been far worse than what I experienced (I was dizzy, nauseous, irritable and sometimes my legs would give out randomly).

 

[Bat 17]

I have bipolar disorder. I take lithium, quetiapine, pregabalin and sertraline. I also have olanzapine as and when I need it.

 

[Isisnefert]

13 years ago, in my first depression, I was taking fluoxetine for 3 years together with xanax.
In 2015, in my second anxiety-depressive episode, I went back to taking fluoxetine, but without good results, and xanax. And this time I refused therapy.
A few years later the depression returned, this time I was prescribed sertraline, the side effects were horrible and I quit.
But the worst episode of my life appeared in 2020. I don't think depression is the diagnosis because it was panic attacks, neuroses, even psychotic attacks, an unstoppable wish for ctb. So my doctor wanted to section me. I promised her not to ctb and she started prescribing me various medications.
The first, the famous escitalopram, which everyone here has taken. It didn't go well for me because i had night terrors and they were more serious about it.
Then she prescribed lormetazepam for sleep and lorazepam. Lorazepam gave me a side effect called ataxia, I couldn't walk, take a bath or dress without help.
Then the doctor changed it for diazepam with mirtazapine. Whit this medication I have been stable for a few months. The problem was that I slept so much that I couldn't get Up without caffeine, wich gave me SI.
Then the doctor changed mirtazapine to Deprax and the panic attacks returned.
At that moment, the date with my therapist finally Arrived, he changed Deprax for mirtazapine again.
But I decided left it cause my brain stopped working and I Need to study. I did it gradually, i have gained 60 pounds for mirtazapine.
Now, I have to pass the whole course in 2 months and I have SI and ctb wishes for fear of failing but I Don't Want a dead brain.
Sometimes I take some benzos or natural plants to control SI.

 

[wait.what]

It's actually quicker and easier to list the ones I haven't been on, lol. The only antidepressant class I haven't tried is the MAOIs. I've also only ever had one of the typical antipsychotics/major tranquilizers, which was thiothixene. I'm fairly certain I've been on all the others over the past 30 years. At least all the other major classes of psychotropics, plus some orphan drugs and off-label things.

I had a clear positive response to 3 drugs: Serzone (nefazodone), an atypical antidepressant that is no longer on the market in my country, which had terrible side-effects but gave me a kind of semi-remission for about three years; Provigil (modafinil), a stimulant that worked fantastically well for a week and then quit; and Trintellix (vortioxetine), some kind of weird orphan drug whose mechanism I don't understand at all, which provided about 4 years of decent quality of life before fizzling out in 2019.

I wouldn't trade the years where Trintellix was working, but I'm actually more suicidal now than I was before I tried it, because now I understand that there can be more to life than severe chronic depression. I no longer have endless patience for sitting around in misery. I'm just like, "Oh, this again? No thank you. Check, please."