If a close friend messaged you to say he was going to commit suicide, what would you do?

[k75]

There is no way I would just do nothing. If I was capable of doing that, it would mean I didn't care and they weren't important to me. That's not friendship.

I would NOT report them, or call 911, or anything like that. That is one of my biggest fears, and if someone did that to me, I would be extremely traumatized. I know how unhelpful that is.

However, I would do everything else in my power to reach out, try to talk to them, be there for them. Hopefully help them through the crisis.

I feel like if they messaged me, they might be looking for a reason not to do it (that's why I would send a message). And I love my close friends and want them in my life - maybe selfish, but love IS selfish.

I feel like if someone is truly committed and sure about suicide, they won't drop breadcrumbs like that. They'd keep their intentions secret, so nobody would be on alert to stop them. At least, that's how it is for me. If you don't want to be saved, you don't let anyone know there is a problem to begin with.

The only exception I can think of is if the person was compromised in some way and it was obviously an impulse that would pass and you knew they didn't really want to die... That's a case where maybe they need to be saved from themselves and calling for help might be the best route. But that's a last resort kind of thing, for sure.

 

[kerolox]

It would depend on the reason, if I thought it was something they could recover from I'd try and stop them and do what I could help them through it.

It actually happened to me with a friend who had been extremely ill for a long time, it seemed like a reasonable choice to make given the situation so I didn't try and stop them.

 

[HGL91]

@ScorpiusDragon Well, if your friend reaches out before they CTB, they most likely want help.

Most adults know if they ask for help before they CTB, they'll less likely be able to CTB because a friend isn't going to just be like "Okay. I'll miss you!"

If the person CTB, the friend could get in legal trouble for not doing anything to help, since they knew the person was suicidal. You gotta protect yourself too!

 

[SinisterKid]

I would ask if there was room for one more

Seriously though, I would do whatever I could to support the person in any way I could and in such a way that they would want. I dont honestly think anyone considers suicide a viable solution unless their situation is dire, so having been down that road myself and knowing how lonely it is, I would let them know they were not alone.

 

[sadbunny]

Would you call for help immediately? Or would you let him die?

I'd call for help. If they are reaching out it's most likely because they don't want to die

 

[Ruffian]

If you assocciate your name with it, can you imagine the questions and interviews from police, not to mention everyone knowing they died and you were somehow part of it, and vice versa if they fail, if someone wants to die I say give them the freedom, and by even helping to save you could somehow save them which could lead to a worse scenario for them...

This is too profound to even contemplate. It might be the. 2nd serious question Camus didn't have time to get to.

 

[deltahead]

i would try to talk to them about it at length, all the while gauging if they're really 100% about doing it, so they could organically come to the conclusion that it's not worth it/they don't want to die after discussing methods, reasons, likelihood of failure, etc. with me. however, if they're completely serious about it, have a plan ready and all that, i would simply accept their decision and wish them luck. i would hope to make them feel at least understood.

inevitably, if they do end up dying, i'd come to feel pretty guilty and anxious about the whole thing, but that's because i'm pathologically incapable of believing human beings actually know what they want or mean what they say. what do i know? there's always the possibility any random event could have turned their life around entirely. maybe what they actually wanted was for someone to pull them out of the pit instead of telling them it's okay to stay in it? this is why i feel it's somewhat irresponsible to reach out about this - not that anyone thinks about this as hard as i do. this is why it's important to approach them with care, even with some forced, distant resemblance of emotional support.

i should mention i've never had ay close friends, as obvious as that probably seems.