synthcadia
dissociated angel.
- Jul 8, 2023
- 279
i posted this in my diary but i just need to get this out.
i talked to my partner. i first apologized to them profusely, but then i managed to say i think a short break would be good for my mental health. but she said it's all or nothing, and so i'm thinking that if i'm going to ctb anyway, then what's bad with staying?
i love her, but the distance and lack of physical intimacy is killing me. it WILL kill me. like tomorrow i'm probably going to go buy a razor so i can make small cuts. if i can't get my high through sex then it'll be through cutting.
i don't know what to do. she went to sleep, but everything is still unresolved. i love her, want to be with her, but i don't want us to end permanently because of possibly temporary feelings.
god i wish i could ctb rn.
i feel a bit trapped. but i don't know if that's because of what happened. i don't know what to do. i'm scared to hurt her.
i think part of me is thinkihg, "maybe we will come back to each other," but i don't know."
i just don't know what to do.
i talked to my partner. i first apologized to them profusely, but then i managed to say i think a short break would be good for my mental health. but she said it's all or nothing, and so i'm thinking that if i'm going to ctb anyway, then what's bad with staying?
i love her, but the distance and lack of physical intimacy is killing me. it WILL kill me. like tomorrow i'm probably going to go buy a razor so i can make small cuts. if i can't get my high through sex then it'll be through cutting.
i don't know what to do. she went to sleep, but everything is still unresolved. i love her, want to be with her, but i don't want us to end permanently because of possibly temporary feelings.
god i wish i could ctb rn.
i feel a bit trapped. but i don't know if that's because of what happened. i don't know what to do. i'm scared to hurt her.
i think part of me is thinkihg, "maybe we will come back to each other," but i don't know."
i just don't know what to do.
