Help Idk what to do anymore

[kurzreisekoff]

I'm determined and know I can do it. It's whenever I look at my parents and sister that I feel pity for them. I know if I do I'll ruin the rest of their lives. I can't reconcile these two sides which makes my life even torturous knowing that I'll have to be stuck here to be tortured for longer. Every fiber in my body wants to do but I can't stop thinking about my poor parents and sister. I need advice
I'm sorry I sound whiny but I'm so lost idk what to do or think anymore

 

[enjoytheride]

Dear friend, CTB is always an option. And that, at least for me, means I can postpone it indefinitely. I remember a previous post of yours. You are a bright young person and I believe that no matter how hard things are now, there's always a chance they will improve. There's a future self of you that perhaps needs you to try and hold on now, so that they can actually exist and be the person you hope to be and live the life you deserve. But it is always a decision that is yours.

If you feel like there's no hope or meaning left, stuck in one place and suffering, you can discuss these feelings with your parents or with the one parent that usually shows more understanding and compassion. As more experienced people, they may present a new perspective and help you figure out some next steps you could focus on. Maybe just sharing your emotional burden with them can bring some relief - if you usually keep it all to yourself. It won't make you look weak.

I remember you live in Syria and I guess it would be extremely hard to get in touch with a therapist. If it is possible and you haven't done so yet, maybe it could be a sensible option. I've read some posts and comments here that have spoken favourable of experience with therapists. Seeking a professional online could also be an option - I wonder if there is free psychological support online, somehow.

Please, keep us posted about you and your situation.

Kind regards

 

[kurzreisekoff]

Dear friend, CTB is always an option. And that, at least for me, means I can postpone it indefinitely. I remember a previous post of yours. You are a bright young person and I believe that no matter how hard things are now, there's always a chance they will improve. There's a future self of you that perhaps needs you to try and hold on now, so that they can actually exist and be the person you hope to be and live the life you deserve. But it is always a decision that is yours.

If you feel like there's no hope or meaning left, stuck in one place and suffering, you can discuss these feelings with your parents or with the one parent that usually shows more understanding and compassion. As more experienced people, they may present a new perspective and help you figure out some next steps you could focus on. Maybe just sharing your emotional burden with them can bring some relief - if you usually keep it all to yourself. It won't make you look weak.

I remember you live in Syria and I guess it would be extremely hard to get in touch with a therapist. If it is possible and you haven't done so yet, maybe it could be a sensible option. I've read some posts and comments here that have spoken favourable of experience with therapists. Seeking a professional online could also be an option - I wonder if there is free psychological support online, somehow.

Please, keep us posted about you and your situation.

Kind regards

Very very kind words. Thank you really. You seem much more hopeful about the future than I am. But hey, maybe it's just about enjoying the ride

 

[r.m.216]

I'm determined and know I can do it. It's whenever I look at my parents and sister that I feel pity for them. I know if I do I'll ruin the rest of their lives. I can't reconcile these two sides which makes my life even torturous knowing that I'll have to be stuck here to be tortured for longer. Every fiber in my body wants to do but I can't stop thinking about my poor parents and sister. I need advice
I'm sorry I sound whiny but I'm so lost idk what to do or think anymore

It's a personal decision. I am selfish and just can't anymore. I have no way of getting out of this. If hurts them to see me like this, it hurts if I leave.

I think it may depend on how much pain you're in and how likely it is you'll get out of it.

Sorry you're going through this

 

[kurzreisekoff]

It's a personal decision. I am selfish and just can't anymore. I have no way of getting out of this. If hurts them to see me like this, it hurts if I leave.

I think it may depend on how much pain you're in and how likely it is you'll get out of it.

Sorry you're going through this

Likewise bud. I hope you find peace

 

[enjoytheride]

Very very kind words. Thank you really. You seem much more hopeful about the future than I am. But hey, maybe it's just about enjoying the ride

You are most welcome, dear friend. The Portuguese people have an interesting saying that goes something like: "There's no good that lasts forever, neither evil that does not end." Sometimes all we can do is try to enjoy the ride. It is somehow inspired by the lyrics of this melancholic song by Krewella:

 

[Syriancel]

I'm determined and know I can do it. It's whenever I look at my parents and sister that I feel pity for them. I know if I do I'll ruin the rest of their lives. I can't reconcile these two sides which makes my life even torturous knowing that I'll have to be stuck here to be tortured for longer. Every fiber in my body wants to do but I can't stop thinking about my poor parents and sister. I need advice
I'm sorry I sound whiny but I'm so lost idk what to do or think anymore

I'm Syrian too
you can dm me if you want to talk

 

[CicisDoingUnwell]

I'm determined and know I can do it. It's whenever I look at my parents and sister that I feel pity for them. I know if I do I'll ruin the rest of their lives. I can't reconcile these two sides which makes my life even torturous knowing that I'll have to be stuck here to be tortured for longer. Every fiber in my body wants to do but I can't stop thinking about my poor parents and sister. I need advice
I'm sorry I sound whiny but I'm so lost idk what to do or think anymore

(…)

I think what helped me the last days is what my therapist said to me in therapy:
"You can commit suicide everyday, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, in a week, months, 10 years."

Idk if that is really helpful for you, but this just calmed me down.

I do have siblings, very young - 5 and 2.

I do love them sm… Like i would give my life for them. If one of the would need a new liver, bruh, I'm the first to ctb.

Enjoy the time with fam.

(…)

 

[kurzreisekoff]

I'm Syrian too
you can dm me if you want to talk

Thanks bud, very kind of you

(…)

I think what helped me the last days is what my therapist said to me in therapy:
"You can commit suicide everyday, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, in a week, months, 10 years."

Idk if that is really helpful for you, but this just calmed me down.

I do have siblings, very young - 5 and 2.

I do love them sm… Like i would give my life for them. If one of the would need a new liver, bruh, I'm the first to ctb.

Enjoy the time with fam.

(…)

I think that is very good advice. i will and have been taking this approach lately, it's like I'll stick around for a little more, see what happens.
Best of luck to you and the little rugrats.