I feel like my back is against the wall and I don't know what to do. I'm getting my driving license and I'm almost done. I admit that I'm shitting myself because first of all I have no reflexes and I have a poor attention span, this is due to the fact that I've been depressed for years. I'm afraid of having an accident and being crushed, for example, by a truck and dying in an atrocious way, or, I crush a child and then the sense of guilt will force me to kill myself instantly. Despite this, however, I am forced to get a driving license because my parents force me just because I was offered a job where having a driving license is required, a job that I don't even want to do. But this is not the real reason, I am obliged to get a driving license because I will use the car as a cockpit to commit suicide with carbon monoxide, placing a pot of charcoal behind the trunk. I have no other place to do it and the only one is the car because there certainly isn't a breath of air coming through there. So the situation is this, I have to get my license to work but I don't want to do that job and I have to kill myself, I'm afraid of getting my license and dying in a car accident but I'm forced to do it because if I don't do it, I won't commit suicide any more and I will be a prisoner of fear for my whole life.
