yariousvamp
Misanthrope vampire
- Sep 8, 2024
- 21
You know, it truly doesn't get better when you live in a third world islamic country in poverty, I was unlucky in this life to be born in an underdeveloped country.
A country that lives in poverty, a country where women are criticized for doing anything, even if it's just going out to have fun with their friends, a country where none of my favorites bands or artists come to, a country where I can't even afford to dress however I like, travel, go hiking, go camping, a country where you can't even gain money online from other countries, basically all the things that I see girls on age from developed countries do, I wanna be reborn in a country where women are worth more than just their hymen, a country where women are actually being treated as human beings as not just imprisoned objects that should be shielded from the outside world.
I'm turning 20 this October and I spend 99% of my whole life inside my room, at some point of my life I didn't leave my room for 2 years and didn't even shower for 2 months, I was just bedrotting and waiting to die, I didn't find a point in doing anything anymore if this is how my life would be, I'm a drop out, I gave up on my studies be a we study in a foreign language that I can't speak, and I'm also stupid ngl. I use lucid dreaming as a way to live the life that I want, and even so, sometimes it ends up being a lucid nightmare, I wish I could just lucid dream forever and never wake up, I wish I could just wake up and find myself inside a new world, new people, new country, a lot money, new family, and especially, no islam.
People may think I'm no longer depressed or suicidal because I started taking care of my Hygeine and looks again, I just can't stand being disgusting anymore after I've seen how I looked back then, but I'm going back to my lowest point. I relapsed on sh, I developed an ED, I have pychosis but stopped taking meds for some reasons, this life is just not worth living if I'm just gonna waste it being on my phone screen 24/7.
Even when I try to talk about my wish to be reborn, people would either say things like "well what if you're reborn in a worse life" or they'll straight up bring hell, like I'm tired, I'm optimistic when it comes to afterlife, I know that nobody truly knows what's out there, but I'm sure it's way better than what I have now, I'm curious.
A country that lives in poverty, a country where women are criticized for doing anything, even if it's just going out to have fun with their friends, a country where none of my favorites bands or artists come to, a country where I can't even afford to dress however I like, travel, go hiking, go camping, a country where you can't even gain money online from other countries, basically all the things that I see girls on age from developed countries do, I wanna be reborn in a country where women are worth more than just their hymen, a country where women are actually being treated as human beings as not just imprisoned objects that should be shielded from the outside world.
I'm turning 20 this October and I spend 99% of my whole life inside my room, at some point of my life I didn't leave my room for 2 years and didn't even shower for 2 months, I was just bedrotting and waiting to die, I didn't find a point in doing anything anymore if this is how my life would be, I'm a drop out, I gave up on my studies be a we study in a foreign language that I can't speak, and I'm also stupid ngl. I use lucid dreaming as a way to live the life that I want, and even so, sometimes it ends up being a lucid nightmare, I wish I could just lucid dream forever and never wake up, I wish I could just wake up and find myself inside a new world, new people, new country, a lot money, new family, and especially, no islam.
People may think I'm no longer depressed or suicidal because I started taking care of my Hygeine and looks again, I just can't stand being disgusting anymore after I've seen how I looked back then, but I'm going back to my lowest point. I relapsed on sh, I developed an ED, I have pychosis but stopped taking meds for some reasons, this life is just not worth living if I'm just gonna waste it being on my phone screen 24/7.
Even when I try to talk about my wish to be reborn, people would either say things like "well what if you're reborn in a worse life" or they'll straight up bring hell, like I'm tired, I'm optimistic when it comes to afterlife, I know that nobody truly knows what's out there, but I'm sure it's way better than what I have now, I'm curious.
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