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Ilpiccoloskywalker

Ilpiccoloskywalker

Free hugs
Jan 8, 2020
22
Than to be alone all the time and feeling suicidal.
Even homeless people can be happy at times, have friends and lovers.
For me life is just bullshit job and fucking videogames
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
While I can appreciate your feelings because they're yours and it's authentically how you're feeling; I just want to say that being homeless would make things worse. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. =[ *hugs*

Homesless people aren't happier simply bc they have less things to worry about. I've worked with the homeless.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
It would be fine if homelessness didn't often come with crushing depression, fear, anxiety and danger too.
Homelessness doesn't make you feel free if you are enslaved to your circumstances, it robs you of agency.
No, I'd rather be alone than be in that situation.
 
W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
As someone who has been homeless...NO you do not want to be homeless. The woods is your toilet if you aren't near a store, your constantly starving, friends?? What friends. Lovers? No one just rescues homeless people. And it's a very Un happy unpleasant experience ...there is no happy times when your fighting to survive in freezing temperatures have no money and are having to steal pop top cans.
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,371
Than to be alone all the time and feeling suicidal.
Even homeless people can be happy at times, have friends and lovers.
For me life is just bullshit job and fucking videogames
Ilpiccoloskywalker

Homeless people do form communities as it is hard living homeless. There is a darker side to homeless life.

Homeless people have stolen from other homeless people in , some homeless people can be tribal over territory\space. I once watched a homeless documentary in which a homeless man threatened another newly homeless man for sleeping in his spot in this area.

Some homeless people suffer from mental illness and addiction which make them dangerous to the public.
Being a woman and homeless is very dangerous as pervy men prey on homeless women for sex

No human being should be homeless. It is so sad seeing people homeless especially during Christmas

You sound like you want to belong in a community and be loved and wanting a life of meaning

Video games are cool what games do you play:) i love the art in video games it so beautiful.
I've been homeless and there's NO happiness there!!!
Lone wolf
I am glad you are not homeless anymore

No human being should be homeless .

Last year i was Christmas shopping in central London( charing cross ). As i was leaving Charing cross station i saw so many homeless people sleeping in the train station. They were sleeping in tents the line of tents got bigger as you leave the station
The station smelt of urine.

That was saddest thing i have seen in my life. I will never forget that image.
I ended up giving some of my money to the homeless people. How could you not give
While I can appreciate your feelings because they're yours and it's authentically how you're feeling; I just want to say that being homeless would make things worse. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. =[ *hugs*

Homesless people aren't happier simply bc they have less things to worry about. I've worked with the homeless.
UnaccompaniedJourney
You sound like a wonderful person helping people less fortunate than yourself.
Being homeless is not living.
As someone who has been homeless...NO you do not want to be homeless. The woods is your toilet if you aren't near a store, your constantly starving, friends?? What friends. Lovers? No one just rescues homeless people. And it's a very Un happy unpleasant experience ...there is no happy times when your fighting to survive in freezing temperatures have no money and are having to steal pop top cans.
Worthless_nobody
I am glad you are not homeless.

No human being should be homeless .

Being homeless there is no dignity
•begging for money
•Constantly looking for food and shelter something i take for granted and many people do.
•Worst of all public ridicule and judgement. I told a friend of mine i give money to homeless people and they said" why they spend money on drink and drugs "
It so dangerous especially if youre woman
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
Ilpiccoloskywalker

Homeless people do form communities as it is hard living homeless. There is a darker side to homeless life.

Homeless people have stolen from other homeless people in , some homeless people can be tribal over territory\space. I once watched a homeless documentary in which a homeless man threatened another newly homeless man for sleeping in his spot in this area.

Some homeless people suffer from mental illness and addiction which make them dangerous to the public.
Being a woman and homeless is very dangerous as pervy men prey on homeless women for sex

No human being should be homeless. It is so sad seeing people homeless especially during Christmas

You sound like you want to belong in a community and be loved and wanting a life of meaning

Video games are cool what games do you play:) i love the art in video games it so beautiful.

Lone wolf
I am glad you are not homeless anymore

No human being should be homeless .

Last year i was Christmas shopping in central London( charing cross ). As i was leaving Charing cross station i saw so many homeless people sleeping in the train station. They were sleeping in tents the line of tents got bigger as you leave the station
The station smelt of urine.

That was saddest thing i have seen in my life. I will never forget that image.
I ended up giving some of my money to the homeless people. How could you not give

UnaccompaniedJourney
You sound like a wonderful person helping people less fortunate than yourself.
Being homeless is not living.

Worthless_nobody
I am glad you are not homeless.

No human being should be homeless .

Being homeless there is no dignity
•begging for money
•Constantly looking for food and shelter something i take for granted and many people do.
•Worst of all public ridicule and judgement. I told a friend of mine i give money to homeless people and they said" why they spend money on drink and drugs "
It so dangerous especially if youre woman
Firefox, Thank You, Being Homeless was the worst period of my existence on this worthless planet, l ended up getting addicted to Heroin and Crack Cocaine and used to inject(Snowballs) 4/5 times a day until l couldn't get a vein and realized that I needed help so I reached out to BDP and got the help I so desperately needed! I was on a 120mls of Methadone at one point but have now got it down to 55mls a day! And intend to be Totally cleaned by the end of 2021, Having the Responsibility for my Staffie is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Max is my Best Friend and l become a better person each day because of him
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,371
Firefox, Thank You, Being Homeless was the worst period of my existence on this worthless planet, l ended up getting addicted to Heroin and Crack Cocaine and used to inject(Snowballs) 4/5 times a day until l couldn't get a vein and realized that I needed help so I reached out to BDP and got the help I so desperately needed! I was on a 120mls of Methadone at one point but have now got it down to 55mls a day! And intend to be Totally cleaned by the end of 2021, Having the Responsibility for my Staffie is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Max is my Best Friend and l become a better person each day because of him
Lonewolf
I am glad you are not homeless anymore and managed to turn your life around.
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Than to be alone all the time and feeling suicidal.
Even homeless people can be happy at times, have friends and lovers.
For me life is just bullshit job and fucking videogames
I thought homelessness was very isolating. You can't tell people how you're really living, and there's nothing more isolating than that. Also, you get no sleep and are prey to mosquitoes.
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
Lonewolf
I am glad you are not homeless anymore and managed to turn your life around.
Thanks Firefox, l reached out to all the agency's l was supposed to, The NHS the mental health the drug's workers etc, do you know what really saved me and gave me a purpose? A rescue Staffie called Max and the responsibility of caring for him!
 

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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
Thanks Firefox, l reached out to all the agency's l was supposed to, The NHS the mental health the drug's workers etc, do you know what really saved me and gave me a purpose? A rescue Staffie called Max and the responsibility of caring for him!
I apologise for derailing the thread but that is an adorable staffie!! I'm glad you're doing better nowadays @Lone wolf, and good luck with getting clean, that's some insane progress so far!
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
I apologise for derailing the thread but that is an adorable staffie!! I'm glad you're doing better nowadays @Lone wolf, and good luck with getting clean, that's some insane progress so far!
Thank you Mr Blue, and Max sends a friendly Woof.
 
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T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,144
Go and live on the street then.
You're in luck that you know you're becoming homeless beforehand so buy a tent warm blankets (good general camping gear) and trot on to the streets.
You are obviously writing this from an incredibly naive perspective... Just because you see homeless talking to each other laughing/socialising they are some of the worst back stabbers of society, you will open your heart to someone and they will squeeze it if they think they can gain a penny out of you. NOT ALL Homeless but most substance abusers enjoy that lifestyle.

Its not like in the movies where someone says to the group "I got a guitar" plays a tune you all sing and laugh and talk. There's none of that.
Its fighting over who stole what. People threatening or telling you they injected you with aids in your sleep, even for a 'joke' these people are mostly completely mad, nasty. You cannot be a good/kind person and live amongst street dwellers.

The obvious is most people I bet you're talking of 'having fun' aren't even homeless... They're street dwellers who drik and use drugs all day everyday and they have somewhere to sleep at night.
TRULY LONG-TERM HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE NEARLY ALWAYS SEVERELY MENTALLY AND AVOID OTHERS AS THEY HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA MOST OF THE TIME. These are good people who have been thrown away by this sick society.
Homelessness is not a joke.
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,796
I think being homeless would be just as lonely and hopeless, but then you would also get all the downsides of enduring homelessness. You have community here with us.
I agree with Rosey, maybe it would probably wouldn't change how you feel . You are not alone. You have us, hope we give you some comfort .
 
T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,144
Firefox, Thank You, Being Homeless was the worst period of my existence on this worthless planet, l ended up getting addicted to Heroin and Crack Cocaine and used to inject(Snowballs) 4/5 times a day until l couldn't get a vein and realized that I needed help so I reached out to BDP and got the help I so desperately needed! I was on a 120mls of Methadone at one point but have now got it down to 55mls a day! And intend to be Totally cleaned by the end of 2021, Having the Responsibility for my Staffie is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Max is my Best Friend and l become a better person each day because of him
Similar here mate. Well done. I'm the same as you on a script but I cannot lower it.
I managed 6 months completely clean and after nothing changed I realized my life was never meant to or will be a good thing so I chose to start using Benzos again knowing the consequences of addiction. I see it that its less destructive than smack, crack and worst of all alcohol.
Hope you're enjoying your life now.

That was a time I wanted to live subconsciously as well. I was only in my early twenties for Christ's sake and was a very naive person due to being isolated from 16-20 which is when I was thrown to the wolves.
Within weeks I was sharing works risking bloodborn diseases. That's how careless you become yet we still try to survive this evil existence.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
Similar here mate. Well done. I'm the same as you on a script but I cannot lower it.
I managed 6 months completely clean and after nothing changed I realized my life was never meant to or will be a good thing so I chose to start using Benzos again knowing the consequences of addiction. I see it that its less destructive than smack, crack and worst of all alcohol.
Hope you're enjoying your life now.

That was a time I wanted to live subconsciously as well. I was only in my early twenties for Christ's sake and was a very naive person due to being isolated from 16-20 which is when I was thrown to the wolves.
Within weeks I was sharing works risking bloodborn diseases. That's how careless you become yet we still try to survive this evil existence.
Too Conscious, We have walked down the same road and got to the same point,l would happily have stayed at 120mls a day forever however the idea is to reduce at a comfortable rate and some drug support workers do put pressure on their client's to reduce to quickly and that's dangerous and most likely to end in failure with the user going back to their drug of choice (Mine was 'H') l've got it down to 55mls but just can't seem to get beyond that amount without the onset of Withdrawal symptoms, Withdrawal makes me really (Hulk like) Angry and with my furry best m8 in the flat l just will not go there, so I'm stuck at 55mls until my situation changes! What about You m8 where are you with your program
 
T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,144
Too Conscious, We have walked down the same road and got to the same point,l would happily have stayed at 120mls a day forever however the idea is to reduce at a comfortable rate and some drug support workers do put pressure on their client's to reduce to quickly and that's dangerous and most likely to end in failure with the user going back to their drug of choice (Mine was 'H') l've got it down to 55mls but just can't seem to get beyond that amount without the onset of Withdrawal symptoms, Withdrawal makes me really (Hulk like) Angry and with my furry best m8 in the flat l just will not go there, so I'm stuck at 55mls until my situation changes! What about You m8 where are you with your program
16 mg of subutex mate for two years.
I got clean off the heroin after a year of injecting at least twice a day. Snowballing a couple of times a week.
I was lucky that it panned out I was drinking so much I didn't need medication for the heroin withdrawal but after I got clean. And started the benzos I also stupidly went back to taking massive amounts of codeine and it was a terrible choice going on a script tbh I should have just done the rattle as we know the meth and buphren are harder withdrawals than the gear.

This year I've been lucky my keyworker hasn't pushed me to reduce due to corona however he spoke about it on the phone the other day, the trouble is because I'm not an aggressive person I know the doctor and him will see me as an easy target to get off the script because they can only have so many clients on scripts before it looks bad on them, it's not their fault (most of the time mind you some are spiteful) in my case keyworker is a good guy but like I say, I've no doubt they will push reduction next year.
Hopefully it will intice mevpositevely to go through with ctb but being pressured seems to make situations harder. I'm really struggling with SI I am considering a heroin overdose as a way to go but having tried and failed because you can't plunge the syringe fasten enough when you have tolerance.
 
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Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,865
I've been homeless. I wanted to kill myself then, too. It's hard. Harder than you imagine.
My life is also just my job and video games. But I sleep in a warm bed at night, and I have a bathroom with a toilet and a shower, and I can wash my clothes.
I will kill myself before I ever become homeless again.
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
16 mg of subutex mate for two years.
I got clean off the heroin after a year of injecting at least twice a day. Snowballing a couple of times a week.
I was lucky that it panned out I was drinking so much I didn't need medication for the heroin withdrawal but after I got clean. And started the benzos I also stupidly went back to taking massive amounts of codeine and it was a terrible choice going on a script tbh I should have just done the rattle as we know the meth and buphren are harder withdrawals than the gear.

This year I've been lucky my keyworker hasn't pushed me to reduce due to corona however he spoke about it on the phone the other day, the trouble is because I'm not an aggressive person I know the doctor and him will see me as an easy target to get off the script because they can only have so many clients on scripts before it looks bad on them, it's not their fault (most of the time mind you some are spiteful) in my case keyworker is a good guy but like I say, I've no doubt they will push reduction next year.
Hopefully it will intice mevpositevely to go through with ctb but being pressured seems to make situations harder. I'm really struggling with SI I am considering a heroin overdose as a way to go but having tried and failed because you can't plunge the syringe fasten enough when you have tolerance.
TooConscious, How long have you been away from H now? Because as you know if You've been abstinent from H for a good while like say 6 month's to a year then the Tolerance you used to have will have gone and if you were to use/inject a hefty amount again say (£50) = 5 bags and (£30) = 3 rocks of crack cocaine in a 2mg barrel then the chances of OD'ing are significantly higher! Not that l'd advocate doing something as dangerous as that!!! it's not a easy journey is it m8! Be Well Friend
I apologise for derailing the thread but that is an adorable staffie!! I'm glad you're doing better nowadays @Lone wolf, and good luck with getting clean, that's some insane progress so far!
MrBlue You're welcome to derail the thread anytime you like, Thank you for the Compliment about my dog, 'Max' sends You a friendly Woof! Yes I'm doing better now but do you know how l got my script? What l had to do to get the horrible green sickly stuff? I tried to go through the normal channels to get a script but no one listened to me so l deliberately took 136 paracetamol and presented myself at the local hospital and told the nurses what l had done they took a sample of my blood and when they came back a lot quicker to admit me and treat me l said No if l can't get a methadone script then l was walking out of there! They got me a methadone script in just 15 minutes and the paperwork to proof it so l let them treat me and here l am today! Today's treatment system for H addict's is ridiculous and needs a complete overhaul ASAP!!!
 
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TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,144
TooConscious, How long have you been away from H now? Because as you know if You've been abstinent from H for a good while like say 6 month's to a year then the Tolerance you used to have will have gone and if you were to use/inject a hefty amount again say (£50) = 5 bags and (£30) = 3 rocks of crack cocaine in a 2mg barrel then the chances of OD'ing are significantly higher! Not that l'd advocate doing something as dangerous as that!!! it's not a easy journey is it m8! Be Well Friend

MrBlue You're welcome to derail the thread anytime you like, Thank you for the Compliment about my dog, 'Max' sends You a friendly Woof! Yes I'm doing better now but do you know how l got my script? What l had to do to get the horrible green sickly stuff? I tried to go through the normal channels to get a script but no one listened to me so l deliberately took 136 paracetamol and presented myself at the local hospital and told the nurses what l had done they took a sample of my blood and when they came back a lot quicker to admit me and treat me l said No if l can't get a methadone script then l was walking out of there! They got me a methadone script in just 15 minutes and the paperwork to proof it so l let them treat me and here l am today! Today's treatment system for H addict's is ridiculous and needs a complete overhaul ASAP!!!
2 years pal so yeah it would probably do me but I still couldn't handle going for it and waking up out of it. It's not the method for me.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
Than to be alone all the time and feeling suicidal.
Even homeless people can be happy at times, have friends and lovers.
For me life is just bullshit job and fucking videogames
If your going to go and live on the streets then here's some advice from someone who's been homeless! "SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN"!!! Trust No-one, Keep anything you have of value well hidden, and use a nickname Never tell anyone your real name,and get a good pair of steel toe boots but muddy them up and age them before you use them! The streets are a Dangerous place! BE CAREFUL!!!
 
I

IWantToSleep

Experienced
Dec 27, 2020
227
I've never slept rough, but I've stayed at a shelter and it's no fun sharing a room with someone.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,371
If your going to go and live on the streets then here's some advice from someone who's been homeless! "SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN"!!! Trust No-one, Keep anything you have of value well hidden, and use a nickname Never tell anyone your real name,and get a good pair of steel toe boots but muddy them up and age them before you use them! The streets are a Dangerous place! BE CAREFUL!!!
Lonewolf
Thats very good advice. In fact homeless can happen to anyone. The pandemic has shown nobody can live pay to pay check and we are all one paycheck away from being homeless.

2 weeks ago i went Christmas shopping in Tottenham court road which is in the central London area. Tottenham court road train station has many exists . Once you come out the station there is large road and lots of scaffolding works which take up the road. The scaffolding works people are allowed to walk under there.

Outside the train station i saw a homeless man and he had hat on the floor which was full of nothing but copper 1p coins. I was shocked .In the UK pennys are lowest form of coin currency in the uk. In fact pennys are not used as much and seen as pointless currency. Using pennies can limit what you can buy. Under UK law you can spend up 5 p with the penny however anything higher the penny will be rejected. Shop keepers dont except large amounts of 1ps when buying things in shops. Shop keepers vary.

Public toliets which charge people to use dont accept pennies and vending machines reject pennies.

Most people in the UK use the silver coins like the 50p or the British pound
ended up getting the homeless £1.

I was walking under the scaffolding i saw homeless people under the scaffolding
It was freezing cold that day.

Seeing homeless people during Christmas is soo breaking. Nobody should live like this.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,978
Lonewolf
Thats very good advice. In fact homeless can happen to anyone. The pandemic has shown nobody can live pay to pay check and we are all one paycheck away from being homeless.

2 weeks ago i went Christmas shopping in Tottenham court road which is in the central London area. Tottenham court road train station has many exists . Once you come out the station there is large road and lots of scaffolding works which take up the road. The scaffolding works people are allowed to walk under there.

Outside the train station i saw a homeless man and he had hat on the floor which was full of nothing but copper 1p coins. I was shocked .In the UK pennys are lowest form of coin currency in the uk. In fact pennys are not used as much and seen as pointless currency. Using pennies can limit what you can buy. Under UK law you can spend up 5 p with the penny however anything higher the penny will be rejected. Shop keepers dont except large amounts of 1ps when buying things in shops. Shop keepers vary.

Public toliets which charge people to use dont accept pennies and vending machines reject pennies.

Most people in the UK use the silver coins like the 50p or the British pound
ended up getting the homeless £1.

I was walking under the scaffolding i saw homeless people under the scaffolding
It was freezing cold that day.

Seeing homeless people during Christmas is soo breaking. Nobody should live like this.
Firefox, Homeless people put pennies into their hats to make people feel sorry for them while any pound coins are quietly slipped into their pockets! it's a old trick!
 
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