I would do it but I don't want to hurt people around me

[Smaskifa]

I simply want to do it, the only thing that stops me is hurting the people I care about, for me the dearest person is my friend, I love her too much to hurt her like this, I don't want to be a shitty friend as well, and I don't think there will ever be a letter that can make her lessen the pain, I would like her to understand that I'm not doing this to hurt. It scares me that I can hurt someone so much, but I can't live life. I just can't. I don't know what to do

 

[Silent Raindrops]

It's completely understandable how you feel. That's what makes you human.

Trying to find the right words to say to someone before you do the deed, is one of the most hardest things you will ever do. This is also the toughest decision you will ever make in your life.

You do what you feel is right. Don't let anyone persuade you any differently.

Just remember the one important rule, Once you do it, there's no coming back. Make sure your thoroughly think everything through, top to bottom.

 

[Zany]

Something worth considering may be who is being hurt the most. Are you hurting others the most by ctb? Or are you being hurt more by being alive? Of course it's not so black and white, but the way I see it is that I wouldn't want to stick around all my life for other people. As egotistical as it is, I think people should live for themselves, not for others. It's still your choice to consider what's best in your situation of course and I think a lot of people are in a similar prediciment you are if that's of any comfort.

 

[mortuarymary]

That's the real bummer. The people around us. That one of my reasons I won't.

 

[orAbleCk]

I understand this feeling all too well. Wanting the pain to stop but also not being able to handle the pain of others on top of it all. Already feeling like a burden to them alive, but I know they'd much rather have me here and breathing (even throughout all this mess I inevitably create) than dead. I worry about being even more of a financial and physical burden to them after my passing than I already am (funeral expenses etc) and though I'm trying to wrap things up as neatly as possible I still worry about leaving so much behind to "clean up". There's no real way I guess to make complete peace with this feeling, otherwise I'm assuming a lot more people would be ctb'ing.