I wonder if ill ever be able to actually do it

[kk13]

Every night i try but im unmotivated and si takes over. I force myself to suffer so much. The moment i wake up i regret not doing it. What kind of life is this. Im rotting from the inside out. I don't know how much longer I can take im gonna go crazy. I want to hurt my self so much i want to feel pain i wish someone would fucking kill me. Summer is coming I can't even cut. Why can't my body just shut down.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I know the feeling. I've lived with a noose in my room for most of 6 months or so. I put my neck in for these lame little partial attempts that aren't gonna work, then tell myself that it's still my way out when I want it. Ridiculous situation.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Every night i try but im unmotivated and si takes over. I force myself to suffer so much. The moment i wake up i regret not doing it. What kind of life is this. Im rotting from the inside out. I don't know how much longer I can take im gonna go crazy. I want to hurt my self so much i want to feel pain i wish someone would fucking kill me. Summer is coming I can't even cut. Why can't my body just shut down.

Totally relatable. I've gotten my neck into my slipknot a few times, to the point of almost blacking out (one time I did for a second or two and managed to get out of position). It is very frustrating when survival instinct takes over. If someone ever comes up with some golden egg to override that, I'd like to know. I usually just end up so frustrated I punch the heck out of myself lol.