Venting I wish was never born.

[it's_all_a_game]

I was going to tell my mom this the other day, but I chickened out because she started crying over how her life turned out. I feel like antinatalism is the One True Belief™ system for me - I just realised yesterday that I truly wish I was never born. If I could divide my life into content/neutral and suffering/stressful moments, 30% would be neutral/content and 70% would be stressful/suffering. While I've some great experiences in life, like travelling overseas and listening to awesome music on $1,500 headphones, I still wish I was never alive due to all the emotional and physical pain I've faced. Yes, yes, others have it worse, but I haven't had it super easy. I've been homeless, bullied, nearly sexually assaulted, etc. And that isn't even mentioning the ennui of my boring life, the alienation I've faced from today's shallow society, and so on. I honestly wish I was never able to feel, see, touch any of this shit at all. I wish time travel was real, so I could make like Marty McFly and prevent my mom & dad from meeting and erase myself from existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also wish I was never born, I mean we were all perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. Life is just unnecessary. We just suffer for the sake of it. It sounds wonderful to never have to exist. The thing I want is to erase my entire existence. I just want to be nothing. I view my life as one big mistake. I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Death is beautiful]

many on this forum want the same. I think that my future children are grateful to me that they will never exist :)

 

[Superdeterminist]

It's funny, our arguments are like the exact mirror of the so-called 'pro-lifers'. They tend to argue that "sure, there are some bad moments and suffering, but overall it's a pleasant experience and the good outweighs the bad." I can only envy them for coming to that conclusion, since in order for them to arrive at that belief, their lives and inner experience must mostly be happy. Can you imagine that?

 

[demuic]

It's funny, our arguments are like the exact mirror of the so-called 'pro-lifers'. They tend to argue that "sure, there are some bad moments and suffering, but overall it's a pleasant experience and the good outweighs the bad." I can only envy them for coming to that conclusion, since in order for them to arrive at that belief, their lives and inner experience must mostly be happy. Can you imagine that?

I literally can't imagine it at all.

 

[LivvenDe]

I would never ever have children!!! I will leave those in the nothingness enjoy their nonexistence...

I would adopt kids nevertheless, since someone already did the shitty job of putting their inocent souls into this world. I would try to make their existence less painful... But currently I want to ctb, so I am not in a good condition to make anyone's life better and they would anchor me to this life.

 

[wanttodie]

me to also wish I was never born

 

[forgotten15]

Yep, i feel the same. Wish we had the option to say No when we were brought in this world.

 

[Ash]

I've had this thought ever since I could remember. Tried to make a go of life despite that but here I am anyway.

 

[CatLove56]

Used to make my parents feel guilt about bringing me here but it doesn't matter

 

[badlife]

life is so boring, i wish i never born too

 

[LivvenDe]

Used to make my parents feel guilt about bringing me here but it doesn't matter

How did they respond to it?

Yep, i feel the same. Wish we had the option to say No when we were brought in this world.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Yeah, same, wish I was never born. I've had some good times but living a life of depression just wasnt worth it.

 

[Death is your gift]

I often feel that way too... It is not like I am having the worst life possible on Earth, and I am aware of it, but the good times do not compensate all those times where I feel desperate, hopeless and everything.

The hardest thing might be to be fully aware of how my mind is fucked up, without knowing how to really fix it for good apart from ctb.

I personally already told my parents that I wish they never had me. A few times... Well no surprise, it hurts. Maybe even more when you are the unique child which has been long awaited.

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

I'd definitely consider myself an antinatalist. The best possible thing I can do for my future children is to not conceive them. If I never existed, I'd be a lot better off.

 

[CatLove56]

How did they respond to it?

Dad says I was brought up before the world went to shit (96) and doesn't understand why people have kids these days. Mom thinks I'm over dramatic and it's "just what people do"

 

[Mental]

The world is shit, the streets, its people, cheap hypocrisy. To me, of course, four happy moments don't make up for all the bad I've been through, honestly, I wish I'd never been born, I wish I had the money to pay someone and end my suffering because I don't have the courage to do it because I still don't know because I think there's hope for me when deep down I know there isn't.

 

[fox_wannabe]

To all people who wish they were never born: I am afraid this is impossible.

There was no me with potential to be born or not, so once the kid was born with circumstances as mine It was molded into me and into the wish in my head not to be born.

There was no other way other for me to exist, I am afraid. I can stop my existence and that makes it a bit more fair, but It is also very difficult. I wish my parents knew I didn't choose them, that I didn't choose my body or my soul or being at all. This is not "my" family. This is tragic in someway but also freeing.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I wish I was never born too. I was perfectly fine not knowing any of this. This world is either hell or heaven. Pain or pleasure. Ugly or beautiful. If I had known I would be born to this body I'd opt out no thanks

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Life fucking sucks. The only thing I look forward to is sleeping. Never being born is the greatest gift of all.

 

[Aeathelina]

Likewise.
Its always in the back of my mind when I deal any issue in my life. I didn't ask to be born with physical and mental health issues. I didn't ask to be born into the extremes of of poverty, abuse and many years of being bullied for wearing the same clothes.
I can't even recall a single moment where I was truly happy to be alive

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Likewise.
Its always in the back of my mind when I deal any issue in my life. I didn't ask to be born with physical and mental health issues. I didn't ask to be born into the extremes of of poverty, abuse and many years of being bullied for wearing the same clothes.
I can't even recall a single moment where I was truly happy to be alive

I relate to this so much. Not all lives are worth living. I hate how we are expected to be grateful for a shitty life we never even asked for.

 

[Beeper]

The hardest thing might be to be fully aware of how my mind is fucked up, without knowing how to really fix it for good apart from ctb.

This is the most difficult thing for me to accept. There is something wrong with my brain and there is no cure.

I know that many people have had success in treating Bipolar Disorder, but not all cases are treatable.

Some people have it worse than others, and quite often the treatment is worse than the disease.

As time has gone on the condition has tended to get worse. I believe this is because of continued exposure to stress. I keep trying to live a normal life, but my brain just can't handle it.

 

[Nolife33]

I wish i waS never too

 

[NormaJeane]

The problem is that people live too long in the society of today. 200 years ago people did not have time to think about death and suicide.