I wish things could have been different for me

[bugs_for_brains]

not sure if im a minority here but I don't necessarily wish I didn't exist at all. Well, I wish I could have experienced life in different circumstances so technically I wouldn't be the same person but you get the point - I wish I could have been born differently or that I could be reincarnated with a better chance at success(even tho I don't truly believe in reincarnation).

It drives me insane thinking about how my life was fucked before it even started (as in literally before I was born). I tried so many times to fix it because i would have actually loved to live a normal life but nothing works. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough or something. I don't know. It just makes me mad.

It's not even like I wanted all of my problems to be eradicated. Even just one less of them and I *maybe* could've coped but there's just too much shit. And it's all stuff that's ingrained into me and is therefore unfixable (e.g. autism, mental disconnects, family problems that have essentially been passed down for generations)

Was originally gonna say more but my mind blanked out. I hope it's still somewhat coherent

 

[m_h_d]

The identification is strong. I chose to leave a good job; wasted money on my now-estranged stepchildren; married into a relationship that leaves me unfulfilled, sad and resentful on a daily basis.

I was too scared to stay with the one girl who would have been good for me: every other woman in my life has abused me physically, financially or emotionally.

I allowed my wife's fears and selfish insecurities to stop me from being true to myself.

A woman I met online (she was breathtakingly beautiful, smart and funny at first - but self absorbed and self-loathing) - I thought, hoped that it could have worked but she turned out to be another toxic, crazy person looking to validate herself by inflicting pain on others.

There are places I dream of every day which I will never visit.

Retirement will never be an option if I want to avoid poverty.

Ending everything, finding peace is increasingly my only option.

 

[wildflowers1996]

I feel the same I'm so sorry

 

[Mirrory Me]

And it's all stuff that's ingrained into me and is therefore unfixable (e.g. autism, mental disconnects, family problems that have essentially been passed down for generations).

So, Do you possibly feel like you can't be loved the way you are? Or that you're not good enough. Your nature also has its own strengths, which makes you a motley piece in the mosaic of life.

 

[goblin99]

I feel this hardcore. I wish more than anything that things could be different. I wish that I could have good things that I don't immediately screw up. Every time something good happens I lose it and end up in an even worse place. I'm choosing to take myself out of the equation so people don't have to help me anymore.

 

[bugs_for_brains]

So, Do you possibly feel like you can't be loved the way you are? Or that you're not good enough. Your nature also has its own strengths, which makes you a motley piece in the mosaic of life.

I do believe I have strengths some of which are directly linked to the parts of me that cause distress but to me they don't outweigh the bad stuff caused by those same things so I don't really care

 

[theboy]

me 2. pm if you want

 

[Mirrory Me]

I do believe I have strengths some of which are directly linked to the parts of me that cause distress but to me they don't outweigh the bad stuff caused by those same things so I don't really care

Well, I just meant to say that no one has to be perfect. So what gives you pain? I also sometimes have a peculiar mental quality, I've been diagnosed with asperger's, schizophrenic and besides that I tend to avoid social situations in life (or I don't really have people in my life with whom I would talk regularly). By improving some ways of life, I have naturally been able to function better.