Discussion I wish my parents could have had children without involving me.

[Forever Sleep]

I do hold antinatilist views myself but I do love my parents. My Mum in particular desperately wanted children. I'm glad she got her wish before she died (of cancer) three years later.

I just wish they could have done it without bringing my consciousness into this world. If only we had the choice beforehand. I know some believe that we do but I don't see that personally. I think it's just another thing people try and encourage themselves with- as in- we are living our own particular lives for a reason. I don't see how we are clever enough to make huge existential decisions before birth but then we are born dumb as shit for the first few years. Why would we need to experience life if we were that smart to begin with? I just don't see what we could learn or experience here that could be useful beyond this life. Plus, if we really are learning all this stuff through multiple reincarnations- why do we forget it each time round? Seems dumb.

But- I wish prospective parents would really consider what they're doing. It's not like getting a new sofa or- even buying a puppy. You're going to be creating a new consciousness and a being that can feel both joy but also- enormous amounts of pain and suffering. Before you bring this lab rat into existence- are you sure? I wish my parents had gone for the new sofa/puppy.

 

[Darkover]

well put there is clearly no progression for life on a personal level
the only thing that progresses is the environment we are either nothing forever or rebrith
a fresh start to new beginnings life just down to random chance good luck or bad luck a roll of the dice, the individual is disposable so is the whole of everything but why the individual might be disposable the whole continues forward to a more advance state from simple beginning comes complex things, whatever happens after death one things for sure you won't remember anything of the past.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I have felt quite similarly, in regards to my family. In my eyes, the family unit would have been perfect without me. The time and resources spent on me could have gone elsewhere. I never felt like I fit in with the rest of my family, which only highlights my uselessness. I value being asleep more so than being awake. Life has given me so much hardship and misery. While I have never vocalized these sentiments to my parents, they are aware of my pessimism. They believe that a 'positive attitude' will be enough to fix me. It makes me feel extremely bitter. My existence was never needed, yet they brought me into this world anyways.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I have felt quite similarly, in regards to my family. In my eyes, the family unit would have been perfect without me. The time and resources spent on me could have gone elsewhere. I never felt like I fit in with the rest of my family, which only highlights my uselessness. I value being asleep more so than being awake. Life has given me so much hardship and misery. While I have never vocalized these sentiments to my parents, they are aware of my pessimism. They believe that a 'positive attitude' will be enough to fix me. It makes me feel extremely bitter. My existence was never needed, yet they brought me into this world anyways.

I'm sorry. That's got to feel horrible to live with.

Yes- I'm similar to you in that I don't voice this to my Dad. It's ironic really- a part of him sees me as a miracle child. My parents were actually told that having children would be a 'medical impossibility' for them. Makes me think the doctors were crap where my parents lived. They got that wrong and misdiagnosed my Mum's cancer initially. Shit really- who knows? She may have survived if they'd properly diagnosed and treated it earlier. Plus- I likely wouldn't be here if she'd had chemo earlier on.

But yeah- it's hard isn't it? Being with people who see your life as a blessing when to you, it's a curse. I hate birthdays.

 

[noname223]

I do hold antinatilist views myself but I do love my parents. My Mum in particular desperately wanted children. I'm glad she got her wish before she died (of cancer) three years later.

I just wish they could have done it without bringing my consciousness into this world. If only we had the choice beforehand. I know some believe that we do but I don't see that personally. I think it's just another thing people try and encourage themselves with- as in- we are living our own particular lives for a reason. I don't see how we are clever enough to make huge existential decisions before birth but then we are born dumb as shit for the first few years. Why would we need to experience life if we were that smart to begin with? I just don't see what we could learn or experience here that could be useful beyond this life. Plus, if we really are learning all this stuff through multiple reincarnations- why do we forget it each time round? Seems dumb.

But- I wish prospective parents would really consider what they're doing. It's not like getting a new sofa or- even buying a puppy. You're going to be creating a new consciousness and a being that can feel both joy but also- enormous amounts of pain and suffering. Before you bring this lab rat into existence- are you sure? I wish my parents had gone for the new sofa/puppy.

I struggle to find good answer. My parents were morons and my mom abused me as a child and destroyed my life.
I am more angry about the abuse than my birth. I still wish I was never born at all. Existence is playing Russian roulette. There are so many people who make the decision to procreate way too lightly.
I met a very young girl in a clinic with no job who gave birth to a child at 20 I think. I met her one year afterwards and she more or less told me she lost her interest in her child and most of the time the dad deals with the responsibilities.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't wish for anyone to bring life here. Procreation is just so unnecessary and harmful, it's such a cruel thing to force someone out of the ideal state of non-existence and burden them with the ability to suffer even if the parents themselves don't cause much suffering to the person other than that.

It's always about what the parents want as well rather than what's best for the person, I don't believe it could ever be a benefit forcing life into this hellish reality, it just causes harm, the compassionate thing would be to let this species go extinct.

 

[Unending]

I just wish my parents would have called it quits before I came about. I turned out to be the one who hatched wrong and now I'm just stuck living a life that is extraordinarily bleak. In all reality, I probably had a chance when I was a child but things just didn't quite work out well, and here I am now: a huge debilitated mess.

I do still wonder at times if one day I'll wake up and not loathe my existence, although I've yet to experience that day. Anyway, it would have been much easier to avoid this pain in the first place given how intense and debilitating it has been for years. Not being able to function or do things like a normal person due to symptoms of severe "treatment-resistant" mental illness and fatigue is not nice. Not at all.

 

[sserafim]

I do hold antinatilist views myself but I do love my parents. My Mum in particular desperately wanted children. I'm glad she got her wish before she died (of cancer) three years later.

I just wish they could have done it without bringing my consciousness into this world. If only we had the choice beforehand. I know some believe that we do but I don't see that personally. I think it's just another thing people try and encourage themselves with- as in- we are living our own particular lives for a reason. I don't see how we are clever enough to make huge existential decisions before birth but then we are born dumb as shit for the first few years. Why would we need to experience life if we were that smart to begin with? I just don't see what we could learn or experience here that could be useful beyond this life. Plus, if we really are learning all this stuff through multiple reincarnations- why do we forget it each time round? Seems dumb.

But- I wish prospective parents would really consider what they're doing. It's not like getting a new sofa or- even buying a puppy. You're going to be creating a new consciousness and a being that can feel both joy but also- enormous amounts of pain and suffering. Before you bring this lab rat into existence- are you sure? I wish my parents had gone for the new sofa/puppy.

I wish someone else were born instead of me. I hate the fact that I was brought into existence. I also hate the fact that I wasn't given a choice to consent. If I had a choice I would've never chosen to be born.

I wish that I could just be part of the source/greater consciousness. I hate the fact that I was given life and an individual consciousness. Why did it result in me of all people? I wish it could've resulted in someone else.