I wish I was attractive

[anyoneshorizon]

It feels taboo to want to be attractive even though the benefits are known. I would love to be attractive or at least not have any of the ugly features that just make me feel uncomfortable eating, talking, smiling, and resting. It's one of those things where other people have it worse than I do and my problem is nothing compared to theirs. But for me I feel horrible I have very low self-esteem which is the beginning of the end and the root of all problems. I think my personality is fine I have friends that obliviously aren't in for my looks but I don't hang out with them I don't socialize I avoid going out. I inspect my face 24/7 thinking about why this makes me look bad and try and come up with solutions that I later dismiss because there's no hope for my face. I wear a mask in public still and look like a nut just to hide my face. I panic whenever someone tells me to pull my mask down. If I was attractive I wouldn't worry I wouldn't be cocky I would just be me without all the stress. Talking to people and hanging out with people wouldn't be so uncomfortable. I can focus on things like getting better at chess and kickboxing. I would go out more. Getting girlfriends would be easy. I know there's more to life but I feel like I can't get past this. I try to improve my looks by working out and saving up for cosmetic surgery trying to get a thicker neck it all sounds so dumb. It sounds like such a pussy ego reason to wanna die. there are people who have chronic pain/ stage 4 cancer, people who have lost their family idk a whole bunch of things, and I wanna kill myself because I don't look good.

 

[unnoticed]

i understand your pain. i've also had crippling self-esteem issues for nearly my whole life…i wish how i looked didn't matter to me at all. i don't even care to appear beautiful to anybody except myself…but i will never be good enough for myself. living in misery in these bodies feels just so exhausting. but we are always our own harshest critics; i really do believe there will always be at least one person out there who would think we're the most beautiful person in the world. too bad i don't care to stick around and find out. hugs to you.

 

[Celerity]

Not trying to dismiss your pain here in the slightest because perception is reality, but have you talked to someone trusted about confirming what you believe about your appearance? Do people gawk at you when you show your face? I am genuinely trying to understand.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Attractiveness is a huge factor in determining one's life outcome, so it's only reasonable to be concerned about it. I'm not encouraging you to ctb, but I disagree that it's a "pussy" reason to die, maybe egoistic, but it's about your own life satisfaction, which I would consider important. Make no mistake, those considered attractive tend to enjoy vast social benefits, and benefits in other domains as a result.

 

[Zegers]

Now a girl will come up to say "hey being attractive is not important, i get a lot of attention but its not important" and a millionaire will tell you "money is not important" same old story.

 

[CowsAreCool]

The key is to simply let go. Who cares what people think of your looks. It sounds easier than it is, obviously. But anyone can become somewhat attractive by working on their fitness and their confidence. Sure you can't change your face, but you can work on most of what makes you attractive. And the first step to being confident is to stop caring so much. Ditch the mask and own your looks. What's there to lose

 

[GoForDeath]

It's overrated, personality above all else

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Yeah, I have fucking acne now on top of everything else (don't feel like repeating myself here). Shit's cray cray fr (not bussin, no cap).

 

[theboy]

Sometimes we are just careless and not unattractive.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I know this sounds like bullshit but the importance of it will die down soon enough. Those closest to you will value kindness and companionship the most over time.

I mean if you're just trying to score a whole lot or whatever, then yeah probably not going to happen if you're not cute/outgoing.

Throughout my life I kind of hoped people would like me for me, but that didn't really happen either. I guess adjust your expectations and focus on survival/making money. That's never a bad thing. Acceptance sucks, but it's sometimes the only power we've got.

 

[anyoneshorizon]

Yeah, I have fucking acne now on top of everything else (don't feel like repeating myself here). Shit's cray cray fr (not bussin, no cap).

lol

 

[TiredLostHope20]

I like being unattractive as i feel invisible more to people to would bother me if i was attractive

 

[LossOfMe]

I feel you, buddy. And I don't think your reason is dumb. That single factor seems to have been denying you the chance to lead a dignified life so far, thus affecting your whole mental state & self-esteem.

Every pain is valid.

 

[Rocinante]

Same. It's why I'm getting surgery. I need to become PSL 6

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I wish I was an attractive female myself, but here I am AMAB *sighs*

 

[LastFlowers]

It feels taboo to want to be attractive even though the benefits are known. I would love to be attractive or at least not have any of the ugly features that just make me feel uncomfortable eating, talking, smiling, and resting. It's one of those things where other people have it worse than I do and my problem is nothing compared to theirs. But for me I feel horrible I have very low self-esteem which is the beginning of the end and the root of all problems. I think my personality is fine I have friends that obliviously aren't in for my looks but I don't hang out with them I don't socialize I avoid going out. I inspect my face 24/7 thinking about why this makes me look bad and try and come up with solutions that I later dismiss because there's no hope for my face. I wear a mask in public still and look like a nut just to hide my face. I panic whenever someone tells me to pull my mask down. If I was attractive I wouldn't worry I wouldn't be cocky I would just be me without all the stress. Talking to people and hanging out with people wouldn't be so uncomfortable. I can focus on things like getting better at chess and kickboxing. I would go out more. Getting girlfriends would be easy. I know there's more to life but I feel like I can't get past this. I try to improve my looks by working out and saving up for cosmetic surgery trying to get a thicker neck it all sounds so dumb. It sounds like such a pussy ego reason to wanna die. there are people who have chronic pain/ stage 4 cancer, people who have lost their family idk a whole bunch of things, and I wanna kill myself because I don't look good.

Do not downplay the significance of this problem.
I would trade it for many of the others you list as supposedly worse.
And there are many different forms of this issue regarding our appearances which run the gamut..ranging from minor insecurities that every human has all the way to dealing with full blown disfigurement.

Look at the world we live in.
Looks color everything..and if someone's cannot be lived with, then nothing else in life is able to retain its meaning..unless to cause further torment for being out of reach.
Plenty of people cannot move past it and lose their families, their jobs, their ability to function or to cultivate an identity, their tolerance for being around other people and dealing with inevitable comparison, mistreatment, etc..anyhow.
It's nothing to scoff at and the list goes on.

"It sounds like such a pussy ego reason to wanna die."

These are words that are born from living in a hypocritical society that celebrates attractiveness at every turn, treats unattractive people like absolute dog shit and then makes a joke out of their suffering to add salt to the gaping wound.
Having to live this way is as good of a reason to want to die as any.
To want to end the suffering.

I've known of those who weren't even unattractive, lost one aspect of their looks and then killed themselves soon after, and I don't even blame them for their reasoning.
So please don't blame yourself for yours.
You have every right to feel the way you feel.
This guilt is the internalization of the unwarranted vitriol and dismissiveness that is thrown at those who suffer under the prejudice of looks and similar.

I've probably written 500 comments about the subject on this site alone, it's sorely under sympathized with and surprisingly misunderstood. Mind boggling.
I don't know your exact predicament or what may or may not be reasonable to try to alter or not, etc..but I do know the overall result of being forced to feel this way..to be this way.
And I've had enough of the unnecessary bullshit on top of it, especially from those who have no clue what it's like to exist this way.
(I don't mean you, but I can see that others' sentiments have gotten to you.)

 

[Suicidebydeath]

In a fair world everyone would be equally attractive. There must be some reason for my life to be as shit as it is/was and I can put it down to three things;
Misfortune, my family, or because I'm not as good looking as my siblings. So I don't think you can underrate the effect looks have, really. One thing leads to another and you have more & more problems, if you don't have looks then nobody cares except friends, as you said.