Venting I wish I had cancer

[retarddd]

I remember before feeling bad for those with cancer, but now I wish I had it

I'm so lazy, disgusting and retarded I honestly wish I just died, I sometimes wish I get in a car crash that kills me. Everyone around me is more smarter, hard working and better than me, I wish I could hurt them. Maybe if I get cancer or have non working limbs it could give me an excuse on why i'm such a lazy piece of shit that can never do anything, and I don't have to say or think of some explanation on why i want to ctb

 

[Marawa]

I'm sorry your feeling that much pain. I too secretly wish one of my disabilites would take me out.
But you describe yourself so negatively, your diction is far from retarded.
I guess it may be your depression that makes you feel lazy but it's a draining illness. I'm not passing any judgement about how you find peace but please don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm ugly as sin now & it was hard to adjust to plus I'm old but I learned to live with stares. If you can get to recovery workout build your assets you will look goodt to many women