Rounded Agony
Hard to live, hard to die
- Aug 8, 2022
- 785
(I hope that's not too alienating a reference)
Given my current ideal way of going would be to shoot myself - anything not instantaneous is too frightening right now - it all just seems to complicated and cumbersome. If I couldmagically scientifically actually point a gun at myself as if I were another person, it would be so much simpler. It would also be easier to use the better kind of gun for it and not have to rely on a handgun working out; better still it's easier to get the former in this country (but let's be real; with all the red tape involved anyway, I'd have to go down to the states to do it).
I also sometimes envision kind of separating into two people, firing upon myself, and both of us just sort of fading away into the ether. I think it's because of my newfound self-hatred.
Why is is a thing for victims to hate and blame themselves, anyway? It wasn't our fault. I'd love to know the actual psychology behind this is there is.
Given my current ideal way of going would be to shoot myself - anything not instantaneous is too frightening right now - it all just seems to complicated and cumbersome. If I could
I also sometimes envision kind of separating into two people, firing upon myself, and both of us just sort of fading away into the ether. I think it's because of my newfound self-hatred.
Why is is a thing for victims to hate and blame themselves, anyway? It wasn't our fault. I'd love to know the actual psychology behind this is there is.
