I walked away from a high-speed single car MVA that should have killed me in my late teens. (It was not intentional.) My last thought before impact was relief... that it was finally over, and nobody would have to know that I actually wanted to die. I was incensed when I woke up a short time later, very much alive.
For decades, I have driven by the site of that accident and felt a deep, inexplicable sadness that I survived. At the time, I felt that I couldn't die by suicide. There had been other suicides close to me, and I worried about the impact that mine might have on family and friends.
I concocted elaborate plans for a freak "accidental" death (which I didn't end up following through on due to the appearance of the warm, fuzzy four-legged obligation I've spent the past 18 years slogging through this existence on behalf of), and took advantage of potentially fatal situations to no avail. Fought like hell to stay alive for others. In retrospect, I feel nothing but regret.