Venting I wish I died as a kid in some accident

[Busticket]

First of all I apologize if this hurts anyone's feelings here and I am aware this sounds horrible.

But damn I wish I died in a car accident or an accidental fall in a trip or something like that when I was like 10.
My whole outlook on life would have been different.
Life would have been actually a short, pleasant and enjoyable experience.
I was actually happy back then and enjoyed life.

My suffering started in adulthood with needing to find a gf and needing to succeed in career and earn money.

 

[Lilmeowssi]

I feel you. I wish I died to my Asthma when I was a toddler.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I died as a child too. It would have meant I was spared years of meaningless suffering. I hear of people dying in accidents who actually seemed to want to live and sometimes I wish I could swap places with them.

 

[deepinlimbo]

It's understandable if you had a good childhood to look at your life now and compare it to the past and think I wish It ended when it was good. I feel the same. Rather it ended when I never found out I had problems than live with my problems.
It's like when I say I wish I had cancer, I feel immensely bad saying that when there are people battling it and have terminal cancer and have kids and family and a desire to live. Yeah that's pretty horrible of me. I know. But I don't mean it in a horrible way. It's just I would swap with them, then they can no longer suffer and I can be free. Life is unusually cruel

 

[Weary Soul]

I completely understand.

About 10 years ago my ex assaulted me and I ended up with a craked/broken ribs but even worse, a brain bleed that led to an emergency, craniotomy, 30 some odd staples in my head, wires holding my skull together, cardiac problems, aspirant pneumonia ... etc. I was in a coma in the ICU for quite awhile.

Sighs - I was told that it was a miracle I survived. And my initial response was miracle? Really?

I would rather have died then, and am still regretful that I did not. So much pain would have been avoided

<3

 

[Pessimist]

Yep. It's the same for me. I wish I died as a child too.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

Me too, I should have died at the age of 7 tops.
I'm almost 30 now and I have no idea why am I still here. I'm not functional, I've never had a job or a partner, I don't have any education, I've never really grew up, so what am I still doing here?

 

[Life_and_Death]

I almost died when i was about 7.
In some ways it would have been nice. I wouldnt have any memorable abuse but at the same time my death wasnt what my grandfather needed on his hands. On a personal level and considering his daughter (my mother) is a cunt and would have made his life a living hell more then she already did/it is.
Pros and cons for everything i guess

 

[The Lonely]

I'm also totally clueless….

 

[All Things Must Pass]

My whole outlook on life would have been different.

It wouldn't since you would be dead. Unless you could forecast your death beforehand or something, which you didn't specify for whatever reason.

 

[SelmaJezkova10]

I share your feeling, friend. When I was born I was at risk of dying and when I knew that, I spend 95% of my days wishing I had died in those moments.

 

[Busticket]

It wouldn't since you would be dead. Unless you could forecast your death beforehand or something, which you didn't specify for whatever reason.

What I meant by that is that if I died then, and then you ressurected me for a minute and asked me what do I think of life I would have told you that's life is good.

 

[BlankUser]

I wish I died as a fetus. I wish I was aborted.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

You and me both! I was suicidal since I was 6.

My parents, for some reason, didn't stop me from watching the news, although banned me from watching other adult media, like violent movies or pornography. So I ended up hearing about things like children getting shot dead or dying in a fire. And I'd think: "Those lucky fuckers! Why not me?" The first time I said it, my parents spanked me. (In their defense, they probably thought I was trying to get out of doing homework or chores, or something.) So I quickly learned to keep suicidal thoughts to myself. That didn't mean I still didn't wish I were dead.

 

[Bedrock48]

Definitely a relatable feeling, I don't think you sound horrible saying that at all.

I almost drowned as a kid (due to my own stupidity) and I often feel likes I'd have been better off if I died that day.

 

[Numbtopain97]

same here.

 

[succor]

I was in an accident when I was 5 that should have killed me but didn't. Everyone said it was a miracle. Every day after that has been absolute agony. I have brain damage and my body is broken. I started manifesting mental illnesses after my brain bleeds. I wish so badly I would have died then. I could have been saved so much pain. I was already in and out of consciousness. I wouldn't have even known. I wish every day I could have just gone then.

 

[xkonstantinexx]

The earliest suicidal memory that I've had was when I was 12. I remember that I was getting verbally abused by my dad in the car and all I wanted to do was to step out of the vehicle and onto incoming traffic on the opposite side so that a car would run me over. I remember having my hand on the door handle with my hands shaking. Eventually he stopped.

I wish that I had done it then..

 

[cytokinestorm]

I got knocked over by a car when I was nine years old. My biggest regret is that I wasn't killed.

 

[Life interrupted]

When I was 5 a truck missed me by inches. When I was 8 I nearly stepped on a bomb. These would have been horrible ways to go. But I wish I died when I was a kid or the first time I caught covid.

 

[Ligottian]

Dying in my sleep at 8 would have been nice. I actually had a very happy childhood til then.

 

[novem]

What makes it different to die by accident? So that your lazy ass doesn't have to do it yourself - plan and arrange ctb?
I did many emotional things in the past that eventually hurt my future. I think my cbt will also happen while crying - no chance to fast - that is why i plan on training myself to insert an IV needle.