BRAINWORMS
dust to dust
- Jul 20, 2020
- 112
I'm lucky enough to have had so much love in my life from friends and family, but I'm so exhausted living for other people when my anxiety levels are so high that it feels like I might as well be alone. If my physical body were to reflect how I feel emotionally, I'd be covered in blistering sunburns raw to the touch. I feel like I'm burning and even a breeze is enough to make me scream. I have SN that I've been keeping since 2020 but I'm scared it oxidized and that it won't be strong enough to kill me. I'll wait until I have absolutely nothing to lose by trying; right now, surviving an attempt would destroy the people around me even worse than a successful attempt, and I'd still be around to have to pick up the pieces after.
(I might look back at this post later and cringe at the melodrama but right now I'm in a lot of pain for no goddamn reason and don't know how else to express it. Thank you for being here, SaSu.)
(I might look back at this post later and cringe at the melodrama but right now I'm in a lot of pain for no goddamn reason and don't know how else to express it. Thank you for being here, SaSu.)