Venting I wish I could just be alone so I could end this shit already

[BlackBlood6]

This is sad as fuck already. My sleep is shit lately and I can't even kill myself cause there always people in the fucking house. The method I have is loud as shit. I've tried twice now using gorilla tape for night-night, i get it around everytime but i can't get it tight enough because the god damn noise.

Yes. It's selfish as fuck trying to kill myself with people in the house. I honestly don't give a shit. I hate everything so much it's unbelievable. This world is beyond sick. I'm not even in the stage where I have doubts anymore, I can just never get 5 minutes alone to do what I need to do and be out of everyone's hair.

Made a goodbye thread and attempted the first time I figured out this method was too noisy. Deleted thread. Attempted today thinking I had enough privacy but nahhh. I don't have a car and I can't just drive somewhere peaceful. Stupid assholes drive cars everyday living their lives, having jobs, going to parties, whatever. Not me nope. I feel so trapped. I have to really drill it into my head that the next time i'm alone I have to do it spur of the moment cause I struggle with that, I have to get in my mode where I want to, it's coming more frequently but it's not enough yet esp for me to do it spur of the moment.

And don't even get me started on the chance of failure..... I can't even think about that or i'll just come up with another excuse to not do it. May attempt tonight with a cord (higher chance of failure of course)

Too freaked to purchase SN after that scare with police showing up to people's houses after purchasing it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so horrible and cruel how people have to struggle so much to die and cannot just have the option to easily cease existing in peace. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

This is sad as fuck already. My sleep is shit lately and I can't even kill myself cause there always people in the fucking house. The method I have is loud as shit. I've tried twice now using gorilla tape for night-night, i get it around everytime but i can't get it tight enough because the god damn noise.

Yes. It's selfish as fuck trying to kill myself with people in the house. I honestly don't give a shit. I hate everything so much it's unbelievable. This world is beyond sick. I'm not even in the stage where I have doubts anymore, I can just never get 5 minutes alone to do what I need to do and be out of everyone's hair.

Made a goodbye thread and attempted the first time I figured out this method was too noisy. Deleted thread. Attempted today thinking I had enough privacy but nahhh. I don't have a car and I can't just drive somewhere peaceful. Stupid assholes drive cars everyday living their lives, having jobs, going to parties, whatever. Not me nope. I feel so trapped. I have to really drill it into my head that the next time i'm alone I have to do it spur of the moment cause I struggle with that, I have to get in my mode where I want to, it's coming more frequently but it's not enough yet esp for me to do it spur of the moment.

And don't even get me started on the chance of failure..... I can't even think about that or i'll just come up with another excuse to not do it. May attempt tonight with a cord (higher chance of failure of course)

Too freaked to purchase SN after that scare with police showing up to people's houses after purchasing it.

You sound like you're in so much pain, l wish l could give you a hug and make everything better for you l truly do, you are in my thoughts.

 

[mortuarymary]

Hugs your way.