Monday
Member
- Nov 23, 2018
- 20
I wish I could just ctb already. I just want to hang myself and the first attempt work. I'm so scared of failing it's preventing me from trying. So pathetic.
muretax
Alien
- Nov 13, 2018
- 81
This is exactly how I feel. I've been leaning towards partial hanging and I just want to get it done and over with already and have it work on the first try. I don't want to end up failing and having severe brain damage.
You're not alone, there always seems to be 2-3 attempts to hang themselves but ultimately fail at CBT. The survival instinct just kicks in not matter how much you want to die. Is hanging the only method you've both thought about? I'm thinking of jumping or drinking N.
Monday
Member
- Nov 23, 2018
- 20
I wish I could get my hands on N. Guarantee if I order it, I will somehow get caught. Not worth it. You're brave if you go with jumping.
Who will catch you? I think the biggest worry is that the package gets caught up in customs. Are you worried that someone from your family will catch you, like your parents? ha..i think you're braver to go with hanging than jumping. At least with jumping and if you're high enough, you're guaranteed to CTB.
Monday
Member
- Nov 23, 2018
- 20
I'm scared of both customs and my family. I just have a gut feeling it will happen. I do agree jumping is a safer bet but hanging sounds more relaxing lol.
worldexploder
Visionary
- Sep 19, 2018
- 2,820
You ain't alone in this battle. I tried but failed at hanging. I was completely devistated. I don't know why it's so fucking important for society to keep people like us alive. Ain't like they genuinely care unless they are friends or family.
Monday
Member
- Nov 23, 2018
- 20
I don't get it either. They're so concerned about global warming and overpopulation. Meanwhile, it's illegal to attempt suicide in most places and only those with illnesses and diseases can sometimes be offered help. Why not help us that mentally don't want to be here? It will help with their concerns.
John Smith
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2018
- 424
was it full suspension hanging?
Eden2k
Experienced
- Nov 20, 2018
- 228
I tend to make excuses as to why I haven't ended it yet. Things such as, "it will destroy my loved ones." or "I need to wait until I get through the holidays." Just one excuse after another. But truth is I'm scared. Scared that I will fail and end up a vegetative state or worse, in a psychiatric hospital. Knowing that I failed to stop the endless mental pain that I feel every second of everyday. Scared that I will end up somewhere worse than here.
I get close and then something will happen that gives me hope for a few days or things will seem manageable. Then a few days later its back to wishing i wasnt around anymore and it will get bad and then something will happen that keeps me going for a few more days...
I know im scared... not of dying, but of failing... Just wish it was over and i didnt have to worry about it annymore.
I know im scared... not of dying, but of failing... Just wish it was over and i didnt have to worry about it annymore.
Monday
Member
- Nov 23, 2018
- 20
I live in the US. I know most people don't seem to get caught but.. they aren't me lol.
I relate to you guys Eden and Cody. :(
Eden2k
Experienced
- Nov 20, 2018
- 228
I relate to "I know most people don't seem to get caught but..they aren't me."
