Venting I wish i could ctb rn

[shikishiki]

Already have a plan and ordered my SN but I just can't wait, I'm so, SO tired, I just finished my letters to my loved ones hoping it can bring some peace and answers to them but I can't do this anymore, why if God exists WHY can't he take me now, I'm begging every night for it, i can't wake up tomorrow and live another day it makes me want to puke, to cut my wrists as much as I can, to slit my throat and just forget about everything in the numbness as my mind and soul fades away, please God, just end this already

 

[noflawless]

Just endure it! What will be, will be.

 

[shikishiki]

Just endure it! What will be, will be.

yeah, I'm trying not to think much about it, i can't do anything rn without the principal piece of my protocol, I hope i can find peace soon, thank you for replying! <3

 

[noflawless]

yeah, I'm trying not to think much about it, i can't do anything rn without the principal piece of my protocol, I hope i can find peace soon, thank you for replying! <3

No problem, I'm thinking of using this SN method; I find it more reassuring than the suspended method.
Have you been planning this for a long time?

 

[shikishiki]

No problem, I'm thinking of using this SN method; I find it more reassuring than the suspended method.
Have you been planning this for a long time?

Yeah, it's been kind of a month, before that I had tried other ways such as overdose on promethazine (it didn't worked, but I had the hopes) and jumping from a bridge drunk, but when I got to the bridge my SI kicked even though I did drunk a lot of alcohol to give me the courage, it didn't worked, so then I had find out about SN and the forum, it's really helping me and now i have a more clear mind about what and how I want to CTB, I really want to go in the most peaceful way now, the suspended method gives me no certainty at all too, I find it a bit too risky of failing

 

[noflawless]

Yeah, it's been kind of a month, before that I had tried other ways such as overdose on promethazine (it didn't worked, but I had the hopes) and jumping from a bridge drunk, but when I got to the bridge my SI kicked even though I did drunk a lot of alcohol to give me the courage, it didn't worked, so then I had find out about SN and the forum, it's really helping me and now i have a more clear mind about what and how I want to CTB, I really want to go in the most peaceful way now, the suspended method gives me no certainty at all too, I find it a bit too risky of failing

Could you tell me more about your experience with promethazine? Would you mind discussing it in a private conversation?

 

[shikishiki]

Could you tell me more about your experience with promethazine? Would you mind discussing it in a private conversation?

Don't mind it at all! I saw that you're Brazilian too, então se quiser me chamar no privado fica a vontade

 

[ar.fweo]

Already have a plan and ordered my SN but I just can't wait, I'm so, SO tired, I just finished my letters to my loved ones hoping it can bring some peace and answers to them but I can't do this anymore, why if God exists WHY can't he take me now, I'm begging every night for it, i can't wake up tomorrow and live another day it makes me want to puke, to cut my wrists as much as I can, to slit my throat and just forget about everything in the numbness as my mind and soul fades away, please God, just end this already

Im in the same situation rn tbh but idk how to end it