Ch92921
The call of the void
- Dec 29, 2018
- 909
I will commit suicide, because deep down I am permanently depressed.
There is indeed biologically(neurobiological/biochemistry) something totally odd with me.
I get called faggot/slut by many stranger people.
I am also sufferening under my sexual orientation. It is very very very very very very very very obsessiv and distressing.
Something biologically went wrong prenatal, in the whomb. Its something neurobiological, hormonal, biochemical but not genetic caused.
I do not believe that my sexual orientation/homosexuality is ,,variation'' rather ,,biological error''!
It makes me unhappy.
My rational brain very well knows that biologically there is something totally odd with my person.
I have told my parents that I WILL commit suicide in my life. My father said shouldn't I exhaust all possibilities that life gives I said NO.
I also said that humanbiological/neurobiological there is INDEED something totatlly odd with my person.And it has its cause prental. My father said well I had two eyes, two ears. I instantly understand that he was trying to pretend.
I do not talk lot and if I do talk i do talk profound and wise. I also do things if I say I will do it.
I say I will walk alone the lake of Zurich so did I. Ca 40 km.
When I say I do the Swiss military service in one run, So did I.
When I say I will commit suicide, I will do it.
I asked my mother, what it means when I say I will suicide. She said it means I will do it 100%.
There is indeed biologically(neurobiological/biochemistry) something totally odd with me.
I get called faggot/slut by many stranger people.
I am also sufferening under my sexual orientation. It is very very very very very very very very obsessiv and distressing.
Something biologically went wrong prenatal, in the whomb. Its something neurobiological, hormonal, biochemical but not genetic caused.
I do not believe that my sexual orientation/homosexuality is ,,variation'' rather ,,biological error''!
It makes me unhappy.
My rational brain very well knows that biologically there is something totally odd with my person.
I have told my parents that I WILL commit suicide in my life. My father said shouldn't I exhaust all possibilities that life gives I said NO.
I also said that humanbiological/neurobiological there is INDEED something totatlly odd with my person.And it has its cause prental. My father said well I had two eyes, two ears. I instantly understand that he was trying to pretend.
I do not talk lot and if I do talk i do talk profound and wise. I also do things if I say I will do it.
I say I will walk alone the lake of Zurich so did I. Ca 40 km.
When I say I do the Swiss military service in one run, So did I.
When I say I will commit suicide, I will do it.
I asked my mother, what it means when I say I will suicide. She said it means I will do it 100%.