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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
I will commit suicide, because deep down I am permanently depressed.

There is indeed biologically(neurobiological/biochemistry) something totally odd with me.

I get called faggot/slut by many stranger people.

I am also sufferening under my sexual orientation. It is very very very very very very very very obsessiv and distressing.

Something biologically went wrong prenatal, in the whomb. Its something neurobiological, hormonal, biochemical but not genetic caused.

I do not believe that my sexual orientation/homosexuality is ,,variation'' rather ,,biological error''!
It makes me unhappy.

My rational brain very well knows that biologically there is something totally odd with my person.

I have told my parents that I WILL commit suicide in my life. My father said shouldn't I exhaust all possibilities that life gives I said NO.

I also said that humanbiological/neurobiological there is INDEED something totatlly odd with my person.And it has its cause prental. My father said well I had two eyes, two ears. I instantly understand that he was trying to pretend.

I do not talk lot and if I do talk i do talk profound and wise. I also do things if I say I will do it.

I say I will walk alone the lake of Zurich so did I. Ca 40 km.

When I say I do the Swiss military service in one run, So did I.

When I say I will commit suicide, I will do it.

I asked my mother, what it means when I say I will suicide. She said it means I will do it 100%.
 
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creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
I replied to this thread already. There were other posts. What is going on?
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
I will hang myself on a doorknob with a lacing.
 
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creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
Not sure if you saw my post so here we go again:

I think any kind of suffering can be too much, what is easy for one person is hard for another. But I still want to say I think this reason to die is not particularly good. People are bad to each other for whatever reason is currently fashionable in whatever location all the time. You will be hailed as "progressive" in some other place and apparently damned where you are right now.

It really doesn't matter what anyone perceives as odd. Easier said than done of course. I'm still super anxious myself and I can hardly do simple things, but I know it's irrational.

Can you move away from this place?
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
I am suffering how I am born. And ration brain know that biological there is something very wrong me. And yi know that its inborn, I realised that I stay in this condition until I die.

I get called would look disabled, sick, stupid, strange by everyone even my father called my faggot.
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
Not sure if you saw my post so here we go again:

I think any kind of suffering can be too much, what is easy for one person is hard for another. But I still want to say I think this reason to die is not particularly good. People are bad to each other for whatever reason is currently fashionable in whatever location all the time. You will be hailed as "progressive" in some other place and apparently damned where you are right now.

It really doesn't matter what anyone perceives as odd. Easier said than done of course. I'm still super anxious myself and I can hardly do simple things, but I know it's irrational.

Can you move away from this place?
Its not just ,,homosexual" a la Neil Patrick Harrison or
Not sure if you saw my post so here we go again:

I think any kind of suffering can be too much, what is easy for one person is hard for another. But I still want to say I think this reason to die is not particularly good. People are bad to each other for whatever reason is currently fashionable in whatever location all the time. You will be hailed as "progressive" in some other place and apparently damned where you are right now.

It really doesn't matter what anyone perceives as odd. Easier said than done of course. I'm still super anxious myself and I can hardly do simple things, but I know it's irrational.

Can you move away from this place?
I am not happy in this life, and thats the matter. I do extremly suffering under this inborn condition. I feel kept in a body.

There were philosophs who said everyone
Has other meaning of happyness and meaning of life.
 
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Made4TV

Made4TV

A hopeless hope junkie
Sep 17, 2018
574
Ok. Do you feel like you need to convince us?
 
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bag.of.cats

bag.of.cats

depressed cats
Apr 10, 2018
96
I am suffering how I am born. And ration brain know that biological there is something very wrong me. And yi know that its inborn, I realised that I stay in this condition until I die.
Did you get diagnosed? Is this condition treatable?
 
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