I will never achieve Ctb and that’s heart wrenching

[Doctors HATE them]

My SI is too strong. I will be doomed to relapse every month or so and wish that life never evolved. I feel trapped because getting better is impossible too. Going to the hospital won't make me stop hating the concept of life, in fact, it might make me hate it even more because of how bad I would be treated. At the same time, more tame therapy won't work either as the last 5+ years have shown. The fact is that some people (like myself) are born contrary to what fits in a successful society. I wish that the world went back to killing perceived demons and witches because then maybe I could finally die without having to provoke my SI.

 

[AkaRed]

Ughh I know the feeling. It's horrible trying to get past SI :// Just trying to find resources is a nightmare. What a pain.
I think the only other option for people who struggle the most with their SI, is to try some method that forces them to have no choice in the outcome. Death by cops, that sort of thing.
But even that is just- unimaginably difficult and likely very disturbing way to go.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. You have my support.

<3

 

[LaughingGoat]

Have you ever considered the use of alcohol or another inhibitor to reduce you SI?

Drinking and suicide: How alcohol use increases risks, and what can be done about it

Public policies should be looking to increase awareness of the link between alcohol and suicide and to assess and treat problematic alcohol use as a way to prevent suicide.

theconversation.com

 

[Eudaimonic]

I think the only other option for people who struggle the most with their SI, is to try some method that forces them to have no choice in the outcome. Death by cops, that sort of thing.

Wouldn't the SI just arise earlier in that case, though?
To be clear, I don't exactly believe in SI. I think it's due to several factors, and not a 'survival instinct' per se.

 

[AkaRed]

Wouldn't the SI just arise earlier in that case, though?
To be clear, I don't exactly believe in SI. I think it's due to several factors, and not a 'survival instinct' per se.

It could of course, merely theorizing. Also- how would you not believe in SI? /genq
Survival instinct is a term to encompass the feeling/instincts we get that veer us away from dying. It's literally within our biology and how we are wired to survive.

<3

 

[Eudaimonic]

It could of course, merely theorizing. Also- how would you not believe in SI? /genq
Survival instinct is a term to encompass the feeling/instincts we get that veer us away from dying. It's literally within our biology and how we are wired to survive.

<3

I'm skeptical of it.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375597064_Suicide_Research_and_the_Self-Preservation_Instinct_or_Not

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much with SI. It's really hard to defeat SI. Humans can endure so much more pain and suffering than we could ever imagine. It doesn't help us in situations where CTB is the logic consequence of the circumstances and living situations.

 

[AkaRed]

I'm skeptical of it.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375597064_Suicide_Research_and_the_Self-Preservation_Instinct_or_Not

Fair enough, I'll take a look at the article. ^^

<3

 

[UKscotty]

Our SI is fundamentally part of us. Seeing it as some separate entity can lead to more anxiety, more duress and more anger.

If we have SI, it just means we are not yet ready. The journey to CTB can be a long one.

We need to fully exhaust all possibilities for recovery before we can truly let go.